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Saturday, November 17, 2007

There IS a bitch in this story, but it certainly isn't the dog!

See this adorable and depressed-looking dog? Not the bitch in this story.

I know the following headline will have lots of you chuckling (especially you married guys, because things are much funnier when you can actually relate to them directly, right?); but after that initial laugh? You're going to think, "Whaaaa?" and "Whooo?" and "Nahhhh!" and "Whyyyyy?" and Dude!" and then, finally; "OH-MY-GAWD-THAT-POOR-DOG-SOMEONE-SHOULD-DO-SOMETHING-LIKE-CALL-MCGRUFF!"

Man 'marries' bitch to beat curse
An Indian man has "married" a female dog, hoping the move will help atone for stoning two other dogs to death. P Selvakumar, 33, said he had been cursed since the killings, suffering paralysis and a loss of hearing.

The wedding took place at a Hindu temple in Tamil Nadu state. The "bride" wore an orange sari with a flower garland and was fed a bun to celebrate. Superstitious people in rural India sometimes organize weddings to animals in the hope of warding off curses. Crowds cheered the newly-weds at the end of the ceremony in Sivaganga district, about 50km (30 miles) east of the city of Madurai. The "bride", who is called Selvi, was led to the temple in Manamudurai wearing a sari before vows were exchanged in a traditional Hindu ceremony.

A relative of the groom who attended the wedding said he hoped Mr Selvakumar would now be cured. "Fifteen years back Selvakumar was physically fit. But, once he attacked a pair of dogs and thereafter Kumar could not move his limbs freely," the relative, Ramu, told the BBC. "He tried every cure for his ailment but could not be rid of his disability.

"On the advice of an astrologer and others, he decided to marry a bitch to get cured. Then we arranged Selvakumar's marriage with a bitch."

Hold up, let me get this straight. He married a dog to cure himself of physical problems that came on over the course of 15 years after he STONED 2 other dogs to death; And he was advised to marry the dog by an astrologer (is this where people go for advice these days)?

This story is wrong on so many levels that I feel the need to tell this bitch guy off in the best way I know how!



Anonymous said...

Well, I'll be 'dog goned'! That's a 'bitch' of a story and pretty 'ruff' too! Personally, I think the groom is 'barking' up the wrong tree! He should just 'bow' out and 'wow' his friends in another way. This story really has a 'bite' to it and it keeps 'dogging' my thoughts about it.

Hmmmm..enough of my thoughts! :)

Jules said...

Ok 'anonymous', I don't know who you are but if I had to pick your pun-based humor out of a lineup, I could swear you are my very own father! That you, Dad?

If it is, you should have used "tail" instead of "story", but I'll blame that missed opportunity on the insane hour of the night that you were reading my blog. ;)

Kat said...

Eeeeeew..poor dog. I read read that in the paper too and thought WTF? I mean seriously WTF? That is some weird stuff. Anyway Jules, have a grand weekend.

Rob said...

Crap, I know that guyI When IBM outsourced me thats the guy I had to train to take my place!

Yeah, sure he is nuts but he will work for $1.35 a day. That is all that matters.

Jules said...

Hey Kat! I know, it's so messed up. I had to do a triple take on the headline before I could even click on the link to the whole story. It was just so ODD. Hope you & the hubs have a fabulous wkend as well. Still snowing in Germany? I'd be camped out on your heated tiles if I was there. Hopefully your cat will share them with me.

Rob, I don't know how he's going to support his new dog-bride with a salary of $1.35. I worry about her even more now!

Dawn said...

Okay, seriously, some people are sooo messed up!!

I can't even BEGIN to explain my thoughts on this in a coherent manner.

Kat said...

Wow. You can't even have a legal gay marriage in most of our very own United States. In India, you can marry your dog. How sweet.

Anonymous said...

Hello Ms. Jules: I took a few days to come up with I believe to be a sensible answer to your question to anonymous. If you really thought that I'm your Dad, then you flatter me.

As you know, there many anonymous people in the world and some of us prefer to stay that way. We abhor the limelight and shudder at the thought of being exposed as a vampire does at sunrises. Now, let me clarify, I am NOT a vampire, nor nor do I claim to be any other ficticious character. I am just me, a mild mannered anonyous person trying to get by.

Your comments regarding the 'bitch' story interested me so much that I just HAD to respond with puns. If your Dad does that, then he is a person I can relate to.

As always,


Jules said...

OK, if you claim to be a 'mild-mannered, anonymous person' who 'abhors limelight' and you're telling the TRUTH, then you're definitely not my dad.

However, I think I know my dad very well, and you gotta be him. Feel free to stay anonymous though, I like the mystery & intrigue...

Stacey said...

Maybe it's not your dad. Maybe it's Pivs or Javier. You need to be more open-minded about these things. I would have suggested that maybe it was McMuffin, but the puns were not NEARLY lewd enough.

Jules said...

Stace: OMG, it's TOTALLY not McMuffin, because as you noted, McMuffin's humor is not pun-based, it is pure filth, and I mean that in the best way.

However, you are absolutely correct in that it's totally possible that it's my husband Jeremy Piven or Javier Bardem. How foolish of me to try to pigeon hole either of those men by discounting their funny sides and instead always focusing on their Hotttttt-ness.

Thanks for straightening me out, as always.

Jules said...

OH, and if anyone wants to see examples of McMuffin's humor, click here; and here.

I think he's going to get his own category on this blog because he's just THAT funny.

Anyway, back to Scott Baio dreams! Let's hear them...