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Thursday, November 29, 2007

Her favorite part of today will be all the spankings.

Happy birthday, Anastasia Beaverhausen!
You're very lucky I know that half of your employees (the ones with class and taste, anyway) AND your mother read this blog, because otherwise I would pull out the big guns and spill all of your secrets here, for all to read. In an effort to discourage any of them from writing "For a good time, call J.C.!" on the bathroom walls at the office, (I'm talking to you, J.C.'s mom. Put that sharpie down!) I'll restrain myself. You're welcome.


This really IS worth 1,000 words. 1986-ish.

I can't believe we've been friends for this long, especially since the first time I saw you "cheat" on your blind drawing in 7th grade art class I figured you must be a real jerk. Who looks at their paper during blind drawing? What's that you say? Everyone except me? Oh, right. That year, you moved to Tennessee from Ohio of all places. OHIO! Could we be any different?


I'm not even sure whose room this was taken in, but it's not either of ours. I am pretty sure, however, that you're wearing your boyfriend's shorts. HURRAY for my memory and the really important things that stick!

I was very much a good girl (okay, I wasn't a good girl, but I gave off that vibe to all of the adults) and you were very much not a good girl, no matter how well your mother raised you. I didn't warm up to you until I overheard you telling some of our classmates that for halloween, you planned to dress up like Madonna. These were the Like a Virgin days, and because of that, I liked your sense of irony.


We're posing in front of a Rolls Royce, but nobody would know that because we're totally blocking it.

Then I heard you say you liked WHAM!, and that coupled with the fact that you were wearing a "Frankie Say Relax" t-shirt at the time (you even knew what the song actually meant, unlike the other girls in our class who I had grown tired of explaining it to); I knew that we would be friends... cut to 23 years later and we're still laughing so loud during our long-distance phone calls that my neighbors complain.


Frankie Say Relax! Don't do it...

Just the other night when you said that of the Will & Grace cast, you were DEFINITELY Karen, and then asked who I thought I was? I can't believe that for one moment I thought that was an actual question for me to answer ("Well, I'm not Grace, you don't think I'm Grace, do you; because I'm totally not her... OH. MY. GOD. I'm Jack, right? This is when you tell me that I'm Jack, isn't it?") and not just an opening you made for YOURSELF to tell me that you are convinced I'm Jack. By the way, I have to agree. Case in point:


"Chaka Khan, you totally found my G-spot!"


You know I think you're SUPER...


This is "our song" for eternity! Yes, I think you look cute in that hat.


My favorite old-timey (!!) photo of you & Mr. Beer, long before you guys got hitched. Notice your tongue. Some things never change.

18 comments:

Melisa Wells said...

Happy, Happy Birthday J.C.! I'm going to think of you for the next two months and EVERY DAY AFTER!

Hugs!

Anonymous said...

Thank you! Thank you! The "unidentifiable" bedroom is Kristi Calabrese's and unfortunately those were MY shorts! Although, I did feel better thinking for a moment they might have belonged to a boyfriend. Who wouldn't have wanted to date me with that sexy pose, big hair and my wayfarers! I was HOT!

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

>>Who wouldn't have wanted to date me with that sexy pose, big hair and my wayfarers! I was HOT!<<

Hell ya! I was already on e-bay looking for a time machine and a bottle of roofies!

In case I find them what was Kristi Calabrese's address?

(I hope I don't get deleted again but that line was totally worth it if I do!)

Melisa Wells said...

Rob, you're such a risk-taker! :)

House of Jules said...

@J.C.: Ahhh yes, Kristi Calabrese’s room, where many crimes of fashion were captured on film! Remember when she told everyone in school that her twin cousins were the hot, shirtless jumping dudes in the “Boys of Summer” video?

@Mel: Isn’t it funny that you used to call J.C.”that troublemaker girl”?!

@Rob: HAHA! You need to find Doc’S Delorian and his flux capacitor! (I told you it would take A LOT for you to get deleted over here. Frankly, your comment yesterday, the “Abu Dhabi” song set to the tune of Louis Louie was more offensive than this comment! J/K)

Anonymous said...

I was never a trouble maker! I just like to have fun in a way that was lightyears ahead of my time! Did someone mention roofies?

Melisa Wells said...

Funny but apparently true! LOL

House of Jules said...

Lightyears ahead of your time... riiiight. Is that why you were wearing shorts & a sweater in that photo from KC's room? Actually, that might be a valid explanation for why you're wearing a BOLO TIE in that first photo. I just noticed that.. and I know if your 9 year old clone, I mean daughter, sees that it may cause her to break out in hives or need to breathe in a paper bag. A BOLO TIE? OH, THE HUMANITY!

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

>>“Abu Dhabi” song {snip} was more offensive than this <<

Hey! I already admitted that was weak! No need to rub it in! :)

Sauntering Soul said...

As a fellow 80's fashion and hair victim, this was one hilarious post. Happy Birthday from me - a complete stranger!

P.S. Jules, I've tagged you on my blog. Please don't hate me. But I think you'll come up with some hysterical stuff.

House of Jules said...

Sauntering: I'm going to have to start liking Memes because yours the 2nd tagging this week (Taj also tagged me)! I will do them both over the weekend! Thanks for thinking of me....

Taj said...

lol@ Anastasia Beaverhausen. Happy Birthday from me as well!

And I hate memes and never tag but gosh darn it Jules your special. :)

Anonymous said...

OK, you guys are killing me! Holy flashbacks Batman. Happy Birthday props for the neon blue eyeliner in the first picture. (Why hasn't anyone else mentioned that??) Damn, freakin' Chhayal totally cramped my style in junior high. I missed out on all the fun, I swear.

House of Jules said...

Rob: I was jus' keeding!

Taj: I knew you'd pick up on the Anastasia Beaverhausen thing, esp. with your new steamy entry blog!

Stacey: Chhayal TOTALLY kept you all to herself, well, mostly. While you did miss out on some hilarious photo sessions in Kristi's room, you were definitely in other places for a few of your own, that I have on file in case I ever need to blackmail you. As for the neon blue eyeliner you so rightly pointed out; I can't believe it didn't get mocked sooner by anyone else! I couldn't say anything because she has too many photos of me with my eyes lined in exactly that way. We read a tip in some mag about it "opening up the eyes" if you only went halfway with it. I don't know why I remember things like that, but maybe it's so I'm able to offer it as a defense against those photos of yore that will someday come out in the press.

Anonymous said...

when is big hair coming back anyway? i will need to stock up on aqua net, ahh those were good times.

big hair, best friends, beer and high school.

House of Jules said...

Kris: I totally blocked out the whole Aqua-Net thing. OMG, I was an addict.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday! Did yall have any home-made wine? Or was it that fancy store-bought kind?

Liz said...

Frankie Say Relax! What a great post. I heart the 80's and these pics of you girls are great.