Her favorite part of today will be all the spankings.

Happy birthday, Anastasia Beaverhausen!
You're very lucky I know that half of your employees (the ones with class and taste, anyway) AND your mother read this blog, because otherwise I would pull out the big guns and spill all of your secrets here, for all to read. In an effort to discourage any of them from writing "For a good time, call J.C.!" on the bathroom walls at the office, (I'm talking to you, J.C.'s mom. Put that sharpie down!) I'll restrain myself. You're welcome.


This really IS worth 1,000 words. 1986-ish.

I can't believe we've been friends for this long, especially since the first time I saw you "cheat" on your blind drawing in 7th grade art class I figured you must be a real jerk. Who looks at their paper during blind drawing? What's that you say? Everyone except me? Oh, right. That year, you moved to Tennessee from Ohio of all places. OHIO! Could we be any different?


I'm not even sure whose room this was taken in, but it's not either of ours. I am pretty sure, however, that you're wearing your boyfriend's shorts. HURRAY for my memory and the really important things that stick!

I was very much a good girl (okay, I wasn't a good girl, but I gave off that vibe to all of the adults) and you were very much not a good girl, no matter how well your mother raised you. I didn't warm up to you until I overheard you telling some of our classmates that for halloween, you planned to dress up like Madonna. These were the Like a Virgin days, and because of that, I liked your sense of irony.


We're posing in front of a Rolls Royce, but nobody would know that because we're totally blocking it.

Then I heard you say you liked WHAM!, and that coupled with the fact that you were wearing a "Frankie Say Relax" t-shirt at the time (you even knew what the song actually meant, unlike the other girls in our class who I had grown tired of explaining it to); I knew that we would be friends... cut to 23 years later and we're still laughing so loud during our long-distance phone calls that my neighbors complain.


Frankie Say Relax! Don't do it...

Just the other night when you said that of the Will & Grace cast, you were DEFINITELY Karen, and then asked who I thought I was? I can't believe that for one moment I thought that was an actual question for me to answer ("Well, I'm not Grace, you don't think I'm Grace, do you; because I'm totally not her... OH. MY. GOD. I'm Jack, right? This is when you tell me that I'm Jack, isn't it?") and not just an opening you made for YOURSELF to tell me that you are convinced I'm Jack. By the way, I have to agree. Case in point:


"Chaka Khan, you totally found my G-spot!"


You know I think you're SUPER...


This is "our song" for eternity! Yes, I think you look cute in that hat.


My favorite old-timey (!!) photo of you & Mr. Beer, long before you guys got hitched. Notice your tongue. Some things never change.