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Friday, November 30, 2007

I know for her entire life, up until that very moment; in her head it was spelled C-O-Y.

I've been friends with Crossley for 25 years (since 3rd grade), and even though I know her better than anyone else does, it's truly remarkable how often I'm in awe of what comes out of her mouth. She says things that are so brilliantly unexpected, so beautifully uncrafted, that it would be impossible for me to exaggerate these gems.

It's in her DNA to spout off quotable statement after quotable statement because both of her parents are masters at it, and their own quotables will start showing up around here, so prepare yourselves accordingly. In conversation, I have always called them "Crossley-isms", and now they have their own label at the bottom of each featured post I write. They will earn it, having their own specific label, trust me.

Even when completely sober and not lashing out at animated woodland creatures like she did in this classic post (which you must click to read, especially if you missed it the first time!), she's so quotable! This next one still cracks me up and it happened almost 10 years ago, when we were traipsing around Europe together for an entire month. One particular day, we were checking out the sites in London, not unlike this:

Look kids! There's Big Ben, Parliament!

Which brings us to this morning, when I was doing some online holiday shopping and I stumbled across these cute little magnets, which reminded me of that day in London. We were walking along and came upon some beautiful urban landscaping.

Crossley: Look! I love these koi ponds! I've never seen one this big before. Check out the fish!

Me: Boom town fish! It's bizarre to see this randomly in the middle of the city instead of someone's backyard.

Crossley: When I get my own house, I'm definitely going to build my own koi pond, and I'm going to get a bunch of those cool fish, too. What are they called, anyway?

Me: [...] Koi.

Crossley: What?

Me: K-O-I. Koi. It's Japanese for "carp".

Crossley: Ooooh right.

(Lest you think otherwise, she is a highly intelligent person. Her day job as the lone female working with the men of her city in the field of engineering is no cake walk. She makes sure the tall buildings won't fall over, and that you aren't constructing houses over sacred burial ground. The brain power she uses for this kind of responsibility is no joke, especially because she sacrifices all of her brain cells and "thinking time" to her job. I should definitely be paying her for this kind of entertainment.


Melisa said...

My favorite is and always will be the "rih-big-ball."

Melissa said...

LOL! I literally laughed out loud. I know a few people like this. It's really hard not to laugh in their face when they spout out a real winner.
I think I'll call them crossleyism's now, too.

Jules said...

@One-S'd-Melisa (my sista!): DUDE, don't bogart the punchlines of future posts!!!! That will eventually end up on here, too.

@Two-S'd-Melissa: Even I laughed out loud while typing it, and I've had it in my head and re-told it to people for the past 10 years. She's a rare treasure, that one. :)

Melisa said...

I CAN'T WAIT. That has provided hours of family enjoyment! Post about it tomorrow! (JK)

Sarcastic Mom (aka Lotus) said...

I'm sorry, but the thing I laughed the most at was the video clip.


Cha said...

Are you sure we weren't in Rome? And BTW, I feel stupid all over again. Like when I was telling you about that shirt my mom got me with the cat (Pee-na-lope) and Pepe le Pew on it. And you were like, you mean Penelope? Some times I worry about me:-)

Jules said...

It was definitely London b/c we just finished taking those photos of us looking like we were holding up Big Ben (from a distance) and then we walked down those steps to that skyscraper that had the huge koi pond in front of it.

If there had been any urban landscaping in Rome it would have been boiling vats of water with floating koi! It was too freaking hot in Rome for anything to thrive but heat stroke! :)

Jules said...

Also, you forgot about your special "Thur-app" shampoo. (Therappe, pronounced 'Therapy"). Hooked on phonics did NOT work for you, but I love you anyway.