I know for her entire life, up until that very moment; in her head it was spelled C-O-Y.

I've been friends with Crossley for 25 years (since 3rd grade), and even though I know her better than anyone else does, it's truly remarkable how often I'm in awe of what comes out of her mouth. She says things that are so brilliantly unexpected, so beautifully uncrafted, that it would be impossible for me to exaggerate these gems.

It's in her DNA to spout off quotable statement after quotable statement because both of her parents are masters at it, and their own quotables will start showing up around here, so prepare yourselves accordingly. In conversation, I have always called them "Crossley-isms", and now they have their own label at the bottom of each featured post I write. They will earn it, having their own specific label, trust me.

Even when completely sober and not lashing out at animated woodland creatures like she did in this classic post (which you must click to read, especially if you missed it the first time!), she's so quotable! This next one still cracks me up and it happened almost 10 years ago, when we were traipsing around Europe together for an entire month. One particular day, we were checking out the sites in London, not unlike this:


Look kids! There's Big Ben, Parliament!

Which brings us to this morning, when I was doing some online holiday shopping and I stumbled across these cute little magnets, which reminded me of that day in London. We were walking along and came upon some beautiful urban landscaping.

Crossley: Look! I love these koi ponds! I've never seen one this big before. Check out the fish!

Me: Boom town fish! It's bizarre to see this randomly in the middle of the city instead of someone's backyard.

Crossley: When I get my own house, I'm definitely going to build my own koi pond, and I'm going to get a bunch of those cool fish, too. What are they called, anyway?

Me: [...] Koi.

Crossley: What?

Me: K-O-I. Koi. It's Japanese for "carp".

Crossley: Ooooh right.

(Lest you think otherwise, she is a highly intelligent person. Her day job as the lone female working with the men of her city in the field of engineering is no cake walk. She makes sure the tall buildings won't fall over, and that you aren't constructing houses over sacred burial ground. The brain power she uses for this kind of responsibility is no joke, especially because she sacrifices all of her brain cells and "thinking time" to her job. I should definitely be paying her for this kind of entertainment.

Someone is a purdy purdy flower; someone else is purdy purdy drunk

The memo Walt Disney never received:

See the 1947 fire prevention poster before I got my hands on it here.
POST DISCLAIMER: Though "Drunk" saw the discussed movie recently with spouse and todder (all of whom were sober at the time!), I haven't seen it in ages. I do have a long-reaching memory, though. Don't ask how we got on this topic.

Here is a highlight from a recent conversation I had very late in the evening with a friend who happened to be drunk. I was sober, which explains how I was so easily drawn into this kind of thing.

Drunk: "The best part in that movie Bambi was when his mom got shot. At least that was some drama! Everything else was boring. I mean, I sat through a 20-minute scene featuring crappy music and a forest fire. Nothing else happening, just 20 minutes of flames and some old, tinny-sounding tune! "

Me: "That movie was made when they hand drew every single frame. They had to have some simple filler scenes of hokey woodland animation and awful music. I can't believe you think the best part was when his mom got shot. That is so wrong! What about Thumper and Flower?"

Drunk: "TOTALLY CHEESEBALL! I should have just put a block of cheddar on top of my DVD player to remind me what kind of movie we were watching.

Me: "You didn't think that scene when Bambi called the skunk "Flower" was adorable? I mean, the skunk actually said, "He can call me Flower if he wants to, I don't mind" and batted those skunky little eyelashes, to which Bambi charmingly replied, "PURDY...! PURDY FLOWER"! That, my friend, is cinematic gold."

Drunk: "Don't EVEN get me started on Flower...and Thumper, NO THANK YOU! That Thumper was a real son of a bitch."

This vid proves you really can find everything on YouTube, even if it has been uploaded by someone with a video camera pointed at their TV screen.