The Official House of Jules "Reviewer of All Things I Get Manufacturer Coupons For" is...

A few months back I wrote a post that I'm quoting in part here:

I've already written about how my job has involved many pitch meetings for different products, and that I probably pay attention to commercials, slogans, and advertising in general more than the average person does. I think about what goes into a pitch meeting, and how I'm sure some advertising agencies must be amazed when a client goes with (and pays big money for) some half-baked or unintentionally hilarious idea. The following product slogan fits right into the "How did the marketing department get away with that?" category. This is the perfect example of a commercial that a roomful of men must have scripted:


Double-click on either 'play' arrow if you have trouble with the video

We started with a simple almond. Added pecans, peanuts and a hint of sweetness. The result? An extraordinary nutsnack.

That nutsnack line in the commercial got a ton of internet buzz, and shortly thereafter I was saddened to see that they changed the commercial to simply end with "...an extraordinary SNACK". They took all the joy out of that ad for me. Oh well. In the meantime, I had already e-mailed the True North company to request free product samples for reviewing purposes. They e-mailed back that they don't do samples, BUT that they'd send me some coupons to use. Those True North people are on top of things because I got 3 coupons less than a week later, along with a very nice letter. I loved them already.

Since it seems I'm easily seduced by letters from the people who created the supposed extraordinary nutsnacks, I knew I would need someone else to do the actual product review for me. It would have to be someone honest because at the end of the day I'm trying to find out if True North has in fact made an extraordinary nutsnack or not. Extraordinary isn't a descriptor to just toss about casually, especially when referring to nuts, of all things, and I wanted to make sure, in the name of science, that they weren't trying to deceive people by using fancy ten dollar words to promote NUTS. Besides the reviewer being an honest person, they'd have to be game for documenting the experience. I suppose not being allergic to nuts is another important quality for the reviewer to have, but I figured if they were allergic to nuts they'd bring it up before getting started, or they'd ask me to also provide an EpiPen, which I was okay with. This is serious business! Sometimes you just have to swallow (pun intended) your fear of anaphylactic shock and eat some nuts!

It took me all of 2 seconds to think of the right guy for the job. A few months back, he got really pissed that he hadn't ever won any of the House of Jules giveaways, the breaking point being when he didn't win a keychain I bought at the George Michael concert... AND HE'S A STRAIGHT DUDE. Clearly, that's the guy for the job... and "that guy" is Spammon!

The first thing I had to do was decide which kind of True North nutsnacks to use the coupons on. There's a lot of True North nutsnack variety on the store shelves, so this took longer than I thought it would. Here are the ones I bought:


True North Nutsnacks

Then I had to decide which to send to Spam & his extraordinary Fam. I was already mentally exhausted from all the time I spent in the nutsnack aisle of the store, so I decided to avoid making any additional decisions for the rest of the day.

This led me to do a "Blind Nutsnack Grab", which is:

A) What tipsy ladies (ahem) have been known to do at parties.

B) Kind of like bobbing for apples except there isn't any water involved, or apples for that matter.

C) None of the above, and even though you're intrigued with choice B, you really hope it's choice A.

If you picked choice B, you're right! Technically, choices A and C aren't wrong, either... but neither apply to this particular post.


Anyway, I closed my eyes and the one I grabbed from the store's plastic bag first is the one I sent. As a joke, I also sent along a .99 bag 'o nuts from Walgreens that looked pretty gross. Even though I made it clear I didn't expect him to try that one, HE DID ANYWAY, and in doing so solidified himself as "The Official House of Jules Reviewer of All Things I Get Manufacturer Coupons For" from here on out.

Without further ado, I give the proverbial floor to Mr. Daily Rebuttal himself:

True North Pecan Almond Peanut Clusters (TNPAPC) vs. Walgreens Premium Mixed Nuts (WPMN) Review Face-Off!

A quick background to the review on the TNPAPC’s. I’ve broken the review into a two different areas: Presentation and Performance. Since I was given 2 different products, this review also turned into a face-off. Each product will have the chance to win 5 stars for each review.

PRESENTATION!

It's on like Donkey Kong!

WPMN: My first impression of the WPMN’s is that the packaging was clear. This let me see exactly what I was going to eat, which is a definite plus if these snacks are going into my mouth. I don’t want surprises when it comes to this. The nuts-- a mix of almonds, pistachios and cashews-- weren’t unpleasant. That said, they also weren’t spectacular. I also got a good glimpse of the price. $.99 is branded on the top right, and that turns me off. I prefer not to have an unremovable price on something. If I decided to use these as stocking stuffers, I wouldn't want anyone thinking I’m too cheap to join the party. Also, it has Walgreens printed on it. What does this say? It says I went to go get my prescription for athletes foot and saw a package of mixed nuts hanging on the counter. This packaging definitely says I’m eating these myself because they are not fit for gifting, and that's why they only got 2 stars.

TNPAPC: Although the True North packaging lacks a window, they have a pleasing picture with a cluster of nuts seemingly bursting with nutty flavor on the front. You don’t have to have a lot of busyness to make something look desirable. True North has accomplished this with clean packaging design, and that works for me. Another big plus is that the package is resealable. I don’t risk my snacks getting stale and I will be able to enjoy these for the next few months. I give TNPAPC’s packaging 4 stars. I couldn’t award it 5 because although it’s nice, it didn’t make my jaw drop.

--

PERFORMANCE!

WPNM vs. TNPAPC

WPMN average performance score:1/2

Porter says...
Porter enjoyed the nuts and went for seconds.


Linds says...
“If it were on day when I ate bad and needed something light with no guilt, I would go for the WPMN’s. The flavor was bland but not terrible.”


Spammon says...
 "The nuts were extremely bland. I feel these needed salt or something to bring out the flavor. In fact, they didn’t even have a full natural flavor about them. But on the flip side, at least they didn’t taste like feet."

--

TNPAPC average performance score: 1/2

Porter says...
Porter enjoyed the nuts and went for seconds.


Linds says...
“I thought it was just the right balance of salty and sweet. It wasn’t overly sweet that I got a tooth ache, but not too salty where I needed a gallon of water. I couldn’t give it a 5 because the peanuts were a little too dominant. But then again, I’m not a peanut person.”


Spammon says...
“After looking at the package and the picture for the last few weeks, I was expecting something similar to Poppycock. Instead, I was hit with an extraordinary flavor. It’s sort of sweet, yet sort of salty. There was a bit of a letdown because I was expecting that Poppycock/caramel flavor, but that disappointment was gone in seconds with the True North extraordinary taste. I was also very pleased that it wasn’t hard like peanut brittle, because the picture made me think I could break my teeth if I wasn't careful. Instead, it was easy on the teeth and smooth on the way down. I was also very happy that they weren’t extremely sticky, so I could avoid washing my hands every 2 minutes. I give them 4 stars. I didn’t go the full 5-star rating because although I was very satisfied with the taste, it didn’t launch my taste buds out of the roof of my mouth.”


To recap, the True North Pecan Almond Peanut Clusters were great. They are a fun snack and very tasty. I might even say they could be poured in milk and enjoyed for breakfast. I would probably call it Grape Nuts on Steroids. Although they won’t replace my favorite snack (sunflower seeds), I could definitely see myself buying these in the future and trying some other flavors. If you haven’t tried them yet, they are worth your time and money. So if you haven’t got anything going on tonight, grab your significant other, a movie, some licorice and skip the popcorn, because it just might be an extraordinary nutsnack night.

Many thanks to Spammon, Linds & that 5-star palate of the adorable Porter for such a thorough nutsnack review! You guys are the B.O.M.B.!