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Monday, March 17, 2008

Enough about them, let's talk about me!

Well, you'd think that I would enjoy getting "tagged" to do a meme, if for nothing else than the word "me" is in there twice... but I am not a fan because it's harder for me to come up with what I think might interest people than just writing a regular post. Several people have tagged me for these things, so I better just dig in and start off with this one. I will, at some point, do the others. Don't let this encourage you to tag me though, because I'm not easily talked into it. I refuse to tag anyone else, so that probably makes me no fun; but if you'd like to do this meme on your blog, feel free to leave word of it in the comments so I can check it out!

Schmutzie tagged me to post seven-random-and/or-weird-things-about-myself. "Weird" is subjective, so it's my intention to just list 7 random things, and if you think they're weird then maybe I'll get bonus meme points that I can cash in for one of those cheap prizes they offer at Chuck E. Cheese!

If you want to know more on any of the following, just click on the hotlinks, which all lead to previous posts that will shed more light on the subject!

1.) By the time I was 26, I lived in 9 different cities in 7 different states; and I'm not even in the witness-protection program. Of these places, NYC is my favorite.

2.) I have a problem being unable to control my attraction to men with accents. I know most of you ladies are probably thinking, "who doesn't have that problem?", but this is no joke. I cannot be held responsible for my actions in those instances. If you're a man with English as your 2nd language, you get away with a lot more than you ever would with me if you were from, say, Connecticut. You can double that attraction if you're a musician with an accent.

3.) I am *slightly* obsessed with comedians; and am totally obsessed with british humor programs... I would quote Little Britain all day long if only the people around me knew what I was talking about. Ricky Gervais & Stephen Merchant (the geniuses behind The Office and Extras), I wanna have your babies. Same goes for you, Kiwi Flight of the Conchords!

4.) Because of a traumatic childhood experience, I am not a cat person. I can be in the same room as one, but if it starts coming towards me, I get nervous. Cats sense this and it only makes them more likely to approach me, which is why I try to avoid cats altogether.

5.) As anyone who knows me will tell you, I have a near-photographic memory, and that freaks out a lot of people. I can remember the most mundane of details about the most mundane of moments, which is as much a curse as it is a blessing. If I could somehow make money with this "gift", I would.

6.) I am not a morning person, and that is putting it lightly. I set the alarm on my computer, as well as the alarm on my cell phone AND my actual alarm clock. If I'm sleeping alone, it takes a village to wake me up.

7.) When I lived in NYC, my apartment got broken into and everything I had of value was stolen; professional camera equipment, jewelry and some cash I had on-hand because I was leaving for vacation 2 days later. To make a long story short, I ended up catching the people who did it the very day I returned from my trip, and managed to bring down an entire crime ring that was wanted by the FBI on multiple charges (it's actually a really good story, I'll have to write more on that someday)

Several years later, after I moved to Chicago, someone backed into my car causing substantial damage (it was not even drivable) and failed to leave a note with their personal information. This infuriated me more than the actual damage to the car (though that WAS infuriating!) because it's a crappy thing to do. That night, we got a tip on who might have been the culprit and around what time the commotion was heard, so early the next morning I had my camera and zoom lens all set up, and not only took photos of the driver sneaking around my car to see what the damage was, but got her license plate as well, surprising the investigator assigned to my case so much that after he heard the additional story of my previous crime ring bust, he asked if I wanted a job (which I turned down). The moral of this story is: Don't f**k with me or my stuff.

17 comments:

kat said...

Yeah, you should totally become agent Jules. Put on and take off your sunglasses and you could be the next Caruso on CSI:Chicago :) Busting a$$ all day long.

This is actually a pretty creepy story....It's like you have an extra sense for these things.

The Fruitcake Lady said...

As I am completely out of touch when it comes to blogging lingo, I have no idea what a "meme" is but I'm with you all the way on those wacky Brits! I love them one and all and their humor can't be topped in my book. Are you familiar with "Shamelss" on Sundance? I was just introduced to it by a friend and I think I may be hooked. It's very wrong and thoroughly entertaining. I've also recently fallen in love with "Death at a Funeral".

Sauntering Soul said...

Okay, I will not f**k with you or your stuff. It sounds like you would be a good agent of some sort though.

You're not a cat person? I feel terrorized by dogs. I'm allergic to them so I've never been able to pet one, play with one, etc. and they scare the you-know-what out of me. They seem to jump on people too much for my liking. I bet you'd like my cat, Bailey. Hot Brazilian is not crazy about cats and he loves her to death.

Amy said...

"If I'm sleeping alone..."

Hee-hee

Anonymous said...

That was a fun post! Things we didn't know about Jules... I have to say, very little surprised me - in a good way! I think we all knew not to mess with your stuff before this post.

PS: Waking up sucks.

Elan Morgan said...

I want to hear your crime-busting stories!

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

Have I mentioned that I am a famous Scottish comedian? :)

Spammon said...

2) At first I read "...men with scents". But then I realized, that being attracted to homeless people and cologne testers would be kinda odd.

3) One of my favorite british shows was Red Dwarf. One that I couldn't stand was "Are you being served?".

7) I'm very interested in your stories of bringing justice to your city. I believe it may also confirm my response to you on your choice of Ticks or Leeches. I think you really need to embrace this and find a good sidekick.

Anonymous said...

BWHAHAHAHA.

That happened to me once, except the stupid little girl who swiped my car so badly then WENT INTO BARNES & NOBLE to shop and I was waiting for her when she got out. With a cop.

Oh yes.

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Jules, I LOVE Little Britain. You can quote it to me all day long. "Fat Fighters" with Marjoree is an all-time favorite.

Anonymous said...

oh come on, you are a great writer AND have a great memory?

that's just not fair!

LOL

House of Jules said...

@Kat: Ooohhhh, how fun would THAT be? A female version of David Caruso! With great ideas like that, I'm going to ask you to be a producer when they call me for the series based on my life.

@Fruitcake Lady: You'll find the definition of a meme (prounounced meem) if you click on the hotlink in the post; but I'm sure you got the idea! I don't have the Sundance Channel so I've never seen Shameless or D.a.a.F., but I'll have to see if I can netflix them. I'm dying for Mighty Boosh to be released on DVD.... if you haven't seen Little Britain, you need to get on that!! Start with series 1 and work your way to the live show. If Netflix doesn't have all the seasons, check at your local library. You will not be sorry!

@Sauntering/Bev: Thank you for not f**king with me or my stuff! I like you and would not enjoy surveilling your daily life only to turn you in to the authorities! I am not a cat person. Did you click on the hotlink and find out why? It's a good story, and I'm certain you'd understand completely why I feel the way I do about cats. I have an upcoming post on the only cat I've ever loved, so there was ONE.... I think most people who are afraid of animals are on the dog-terror side like you, which I understand. I might like Bailey as long as (s)he doesn't approach me or hiss at me or attempt to suck my soul out through my nose.

@Melly: I didn't mean it like that but you are the only one who even said anything. I must have worn everyone else around here down with all my talk of making out with dudes that they didn't even NOTICE that! I'm so proud. :)

@Alex: I love that you already knew not to mess with me or my stuff before this post, and yes, waking up sucks. Just this morning I hit snooze 8 times.

@Rob: You did NOT mention that! You better swing by here in your plane and pick me up ASAP. I'll pack the Dyson.

@Spammon: "Men with scents" is redundant, isn't it? OMG, I've never heard of Red Dwarf so I'll have to look that one up, too. I feel like a bad fan for not knowing these already. I also have to steer you towards Little Britain.... if only so that there will be 2 more people (you + fruitcake lady) who will get my references toward that show. Yes, I'll write on my crime-fighting experiences... your advice from your blog on me becoming a superhero from my experience with a tick when I was 9 was HILARIOUS. The only thing... isn't there already a superhero called The Tick? What will my name be? I'm going to have to think about this and get back to you. My sidekick is going to have to be a good one.... this will occupy most of my thoughts until I get it worked out so I have you to blame for my lack of productivity at work.

@Moo: I LOVE THAT STORY!!!! I wish I had been there just to see her face. Talk about being a superhero... that rocks.

@CherryRide: Ok, seriously? First I find out you have a mini cooper, and now this? I'm going to move across the hall from you and bring you casseroles all day long (because I know what you like!). Everytime I write "I'm a lady!" on this blog, I have Emily Howard's voice in my head. I think Vicki Pollard (yeahbutnobutyeahbutnobut) and Marjoree are my favorites, but I love them all.

@ChasingFireflies/Kris: Who said anything about me being a great writer?!

House of Jules said...

@Schmutzie: Thanks for the tag! I'll definitely write about the crime-busting....

The Fruitcake Lady said...

Fawlty Towers tops them all for all time, in my humble opinion, and Death at a Funeral is a small movie that was out last year. Would be great if it were a series though.
Try this link for Shameless, not sure if it works.
http://www11.alluc.org/alluc/tv-shows.html?action=getviewcategory&category_uid=740&from=S

Otherwise I think you can Netflix it.

Spammon said...

Yes, there was a superhero named the Tick. The first thing that popped into my head for a name was 'The Tickler', but thats retarded. So maybe 'The TICKing Time Bomb'? Obviously the TICK is because you got your superpowers from a tick, the Tim Bomb because if you fill up with so much blood, you will pop. Like a bomb. Which is what happens to ticks.

Since that is obviously your weakness (too much blood / explosion) I suggest your sidekick would have to counteract that. So most likely some guy that works for the Red Cross.

The Fruitcake Lady said...

From what I hear, "The Tickler" is a super hero of an entirely different battery-operated sort. Bah dum bump!

Spammon said...

That's perverse.