Open up your heart and I'll set you free

In 1990, my dad handed down his beloved land yacht, otherwise known as the Oldsmobile Ninety-Eight (which he'd purchased brand new in 1981). It was my junior year of high school and I had a busy schedule between school, work, and soccer. The first thing I did was to replace the 8-track stereo with a cassette player, thankyouverymuch. Other than that, the car was perfect. It had plenty of room for all of my friends, rode like a dream and once you learn to parallel park a 1981 Olds Ninety-Eight, you can parallel park ANYTHING. I swear, that thing was longer than a limousine (that's what she said).

I even had personalized plates that I've kept to this day, though they're in a box, not on my current car. I will save that story for another time because if you don't know me personally, it's kind of embarrassing, if points of pride can be embarrassing. Especially since my dad suggested it. Next time you buy me drinks, I'll tell you the story, okay? We'll make it a win-win situation.

Anyway, I must show you a couple of random pictures I found through a quick online search so you can really understand my love for this beauty:


My Olds had 4 doors so it was even LONGER than the one pictured, but you get the idea.


The interior was plush, baby. I'm talking, nicer than some of the furniture we all grew up with. Check it:


Awww yeah...

This car was built for loud music, and I took full advantage of that new cassette-playing stereo. I've always had a broad spectrum of musical taste, but for about 2 months during the summer after graduation, I played this tape non-stop:


Color Me Badd's "C.M.B.", a 1991 musical opus.

I have a steel trap memory for just about everything in my life, including things people have told me about themselves. The tiniest of details get stuck in my brain and it's fun to freak out friends by pulling some fun fact out that they don't even remember telling anybody. It's also good for blackmail and song lyrics. So, to this day I still remember every word of the songs on that C.M.B. tape. Of course I have it on my iTunes, so they still pop up on shuffle and always make me smile.

This time of year, there are a lot of holiday parties which many times have karaoke. If Color Me Badd songs are available, that is what I'll pick. Every time. Specifically, my personal favorite: "I Wanna Sex You Up". Frankly, I don't even need the karaoke excuse. My friends (especially Jenny) can vouch for the fact that I've often broken into this song during approximately 12,784 of our phone conversations.




Related: One of my Facebook statuses from last September, with my boo Will chiming in:


Truth.


All I'm saying is, you've been warned:






Click HERE to follow me on Twitter, fool!

****

"You know that thing we've been working on for awhile now?"

Have you seen this totally predictable iPhone commercial?



Ugh, gag. Two seconds into the first time I saw it, I knew what she was calling him about. I held my breath until the end, though... thinking about how clever it would be if she wasn't calling to tell him she's pregnant, but because she finished the World's Most Difficult Jigsaw Puzzle.



Apple needs to start consulting me on their advertising campaigns. Advertising, design, marketing. It's what I do*.



*I work hard for the money, so hard for you honey.

****

Help a Seestor out!

When thinking about my favorite people, my college roommate Emily, her siblings, and their spouses dominate the list. Lucky for me, I've been symbolically adopted by the lot of them and taken my rightful place among them as a "Seestor"! Make no bones about it, this is a big deal to me. Every person in their family is crush-worthy. I get woozy when I'm around more than 2 of them at once. This is no joke as they make up a huge group of people. HUGE. Remember that show, Eight is Enough? Well, Emily's parents didn't think so! It's a good thing they had more than 8 kids because Emily is the 2nd youngest. I'm really glad they didn't stop with Em because one of my favorite memories includes the "baby" in the family: Seestor Amy.

Oh, darling Amy! She officially became one of our college group of peeps when she stayed at our off-campus house a week before Emily's 21st birthday. The timeline is only important in that there may have been a run-in with the police, who were doing I.D. checks at our favorite little bar in town, and there may have been people running away on foot from the police and some of those people may have been caught. There may have even been a fundraiser to pay for the tickets issued for underage drinking and running the eff away from the scene. That's a story for another day, though. Oh man, is it ever a story! I mean, maybe it's a story and maybe it's not. Could be, or I could be making it up. But I'm not, so keep that between us.


Amy & Emily, at Em's wedding. This isn't their mugshot. Not that they have one.


Joking aside, I'm really writing this post for a serious reason. One of their older sisters, Nancy, got diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis fourteen years ago. I remember being in our living room at college with Emily when she got the news. It was devastating. Nancy is an incredible person. Perhaps without intending to be, she's also an inspiration to not only her whole family, but to everyone around her, including the adopted seestor typing in this blog post (me!).

Every year since Nancy was diagnosed, Amy has been raising money towards a cure for Multiple Sclerosis by getting pledges for her participation in the annual Walk MS. It was something she could do to really show support for her seestor.

This disease does not discriminate: Nearly two years ago, in May 2008, Amy was also diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

In her own words:

I wondered where my donations went, what I was REALLY walking for, and if the MS Society REALLY utilized their money/resources wisely, since Nancy was not getting any better.

Then with my diagnosis came the answer...there was immediate assistance from the Society guiding me through each step of the process of now living with MS. All of that monetary help from every sibling, friend, spouse or loved one of someone with MS revealed itself. It was in the financial assistance of my medication; the check-ups from RNs on a regular basis; and the continuous support of people who truly understand all that I'm going through now.

I want to do something for the people who have been diagnosed and because I want to do everything to prevent more people from learning what it means to live with this disease. Today, there is no cure for MS, but hopefully with the support from you, we'll be that much closer to finding a cure!

Nancy, was diagnosed with MS... to everyone's surprise. She has shown amazing strength and determination in battling her illness, so I had a guide as to how to deal with adversity. I've been relying on her example when dealing with my own illness; I can only hope that I'm making her proud.

Nancy & Amy. You make ALL of us proud!


This year, I'm joining their team & walking with them! Seestors are flying in from all over: Emily from California, their sister Debbie from Boston and I think a few others, too (they have a big family)! Some of our college friends will be there as well and I'm looking forward to being a part of this positive movement towards a cure.

Just as they did last year, Nancy and Amy have inspired me to offer the following:

Everyone who donates $10 or more to our Walk MS team before the end of April will get a one of my photographs (your choice, see the teaser shots below) FOR FREE. They'll eventually be for sale for in my as-yet-completed Etsy store for... more than that.

If you donate $25, I'll send you 2 photographs of your choice. I'll ship them right to your door, at ZERO cost to you.

If you donate more than that, I'll totally make out with you! Just kidding. Or maybe not. Let's just say: expect it when you least expect it.

Mother's Day is coming up, you know. Someone you love is about to have a birthday. You deserve a little something! A beautiful photograph would be perfect for this occasion, don't you think?

Go on, click HERE and give up some cash for my beautiful seestors Nancy & Amy, and for everyone else affected by Multiple Sclerosis. I have less than 3 weeks to make my goal, and really need your help!

E-mail me after you've donated (or leave a comment) with your information and donation amount so we can get this whole thing rolling.

All of the following images ©HouseofJulesPhotography. All rights reserved. Ahem, please don't steal.

Mini-Gallery:

All images ©HouseofJulesPhotography. All rights reserved. Ahem, please don't steal.

CLICK TO DONATE HERE!!

****

Help a Seestor out!

When thinking about my favorite people, my college roommate Emily, her siblings, and their spouses dominate the list. Lucky for me, I've been symbolically adopted by the lot of them and taken my rightful place among them as a "Seestor"! Make no bones about it, this is a big deal to me. Every person in their family is crush-worthy. I get woozy when I'm around more than 2 of them at once. This is no joke as they make up a huge group of people. HUGE. Remember that show, Eight is Enough? Well, Emily's parents didn't think so! It's a good thing they had more than 8 kids because Emily is the 2nd youngest. I'm really glad they didn't stop with Em because one of my favorite memories includes the "baby" in the family: Seestor Amy.

Oh, darling Amy! She officially became one of our college group of peeps when she stayed at our off-campus house a week before Emily's 21st birthday. The timeline is only important in that there may have been a run-in with the police, who were doing I.D. checks at our favorite little bar in town, and there may have been people running away on foot from the police and some of those people may have been caught. There may have even been a fundraiser to pay for the tickets issued for underage drinking and running the eff away from the scene. That's a story for another day, though. Oh man, is it ever a story! I mean, maybe it's a story and maybe it's not. Could be, or I could be making it up. But I'm not, so keep that between us.


Amy & Emily, at Em's wedding. This isn't their mugshot. Not that they have one.


Joking aside, I'm really writing this post for a serious reason. One of their older sisters, Nancy, got diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis thirteen years ago. I remember being in our living room at college with Emily when she got the news. It was devastating. Nancy is an incredible person. Perhaps without intending to be, she's also an inspiration to not only her whole family, but to everyone around her, including the adopted seestor typing in this blog post (me!).

Every year since Nancy was diagnosed, Amy has been raising money towards a cure for Multiple Sclerosis by getting pledges for her participation in the annual "Walk MS". It was something she could do to really show support for her seestor.

This disease does not discriminate: Nearly one year ago, in May 2008, Amy was also diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis.

In her own words:

I wondered where my donations went, what I was REALLY walking for, and if the MS Society REALLY utilized their money/resources wisely, since Nancy was not getting any better.

Then with my diagnosis came the answer...there was immediate assistance from the Society guiding me through each step of the process of now living with MS. All of that monetary help from every sibling, friend, spouse or loved one of someone with MS revealed itself. It was in the financial assistance of my medication; the check-ups from RNs on a regular basis; and the continuous support of people who truly understand all that I'm going through now.

I've registered for Walk MS 2009 because I want to do something for the people who have been diagnosed and because I want to do everything to prevent more people from learning what it means to live with this disease. Today, there is no cure for MS, but hopefully with the support from you, we'll be that much closer to finding a cure!

Nancy, was diagnosed with MS about 13 years ago... to everyone's surprise. She has shown amazing strength and determination in battling her illness, so I had a guide as to how to deal with adversity. I've been relying on her example when dealing with my own illness; I can only hope that I'm making her proud.

Nancy & Amy. You make ALL of us proud!


Nancy and Amy have inspired me to offer the following: 

Everyone who donates $10 or more to Amy's Walk MS team before THIS SUNDAY will get a one of my photographs (your choice, see the teaser shots below) FOR FREE. They'll eventually be for sale for in my halfway-completed Etsy store for... more than that. 

If you donate $20, I'll send you 2 photographs of your choice. See how this works? I'll ship them right to your door, at ZERO cost to you. 

Mother's Day is coming up, you know. Someone you love is about to have a birthday. You deserve a little something! A beautiful photograph would be perfect for this occasion, don't you think?

Go on, click HERE and give up some cash for my beautiful seestors Nancy & Amy, and for everyone else affected by Multiple Sclerosis. Amy is already 91% of the way to her goal! With 48 hours to spare, help her get there!

E-mail me after you've donated (or leave a comment) with your information and donation amount so we can get this whole thing rolling.

All of the following images ©HouseofJulesPhotography. All rights reserved. Ahem, please don't steal.

Mini-Gallery:

All images ©HouseofJulesPhotography. All rights reserved. Ahem, please don't steal.

CLICK TO DONATE HERE!!

And the award goes to...

I just wrote something in the comments at Suburban Bliss, and thought you'd get a better understanding of who I am in real life by reading it for yourself. So, I tweaked it a bit to make the following blog post out of it. Why didn't I think to do this kind of thing during NaBloPoMo? Sadly, there's more awkward interaction stories where this came from. Maybe it'll be a running theme, sharing my most uncomfortable moments. Feel free to share yours here in the comments.


There should be an award for awkward interactions, and I say that because I have earned a shelf-full of these as yet non-existent gold statues.

Like the time I was working as a consultant (freelance, but on-site) graphic designer and the project manager was HOT in that tall, athletic, handsome, and built to win Darwin's survival of the fittest kind of ways. You know, if you're into that. He was also really friendly, which made it even easier to spend many hours thinking of all the terribly inappropriate things that could happen between two people in an office situation. BAD ME!

One day the firm closed early because there was a major, shut-down-the-roadways snowstorm. I had only been at the design firm for 3 weeks of my 3 month stint, and just before everyone left, a bunch of us were looking out the huge picture window to see how the traffic was. The drool-worthy project manager was walking in the room as a few of us were walking out, and had his arms outstretched.

I failed to notice that he was doing some kind of stretching thing until the millisecond AFTER I went in for a big hug.

Luckily he was totally cool and busted my chops about it all the way out to the parking lot. After I pulled away in my car, I alternated between laughing and crying for the next 3 hours as I was stuck in traffic.

Good times.

You need this reminder

When I lived out east, my old Acura needed serious repair work, and luckily the dealership gave me one of their sweet rides as a free loaner for the weekend. They could have done this because they knew I had no other way to get to my weekend job, which required a jaunt by car on New Jersey's Garden State Parkway (unlike the 2 graphic design jobs I got to by subway in Manhattan during the week), but I'm pretty sure they did it because I made them uncomfortable with all of my pathetic tear-induced hyperventilating over the estimated cost of repairs and wondering how I'd also manage to pay my rent, even with 3 jobs.

I actually had to breathe into a paper bag because the hyperventilating wouldn't stop, which made me cry harder because I was embarrassed, and the cycle continued. In that moment I thought, "Gasping for air into a paper bag in the service center of a car dealership? This is no way to live. Must. Breathe."

As soon as I calmed down, they pulled around a brand new Acura Integra and handed me the keys. In that moment, I reminded myself that life is short and it was time to cheer myself up by doing something unexpected. There's no better way to cheer yourself up than by doing something unexpected while in possession of a hot car that somebody else owns.

After finding someone to cover my Saturday shift, I got up early for a 2-hour road trip from my apartment to Point Pleasant, NJ. I'd never seen such a foggy day "on the shore", and it felt like walking around on the set of a Hitchcock film.

Even though I decided to lose one day of pay (money that I really needed to make ends meet in those days), I will always think back to that morning on Point Pleasant Beach as one of the best decisions I ever made. It was exactly what I needed. Don't eke out your existence with the assumption that you can put a dollar value on recharging your soul. Get out there. Live so you can breathe.



This was one of the first images in my ongoing "Sit!" series. ©HouseofJules Photography



I was drawn to the contrast between the muted colors of the shower heads/sky and the dark, saturated sand. ©HouseofJules Photography



Detail shot. If you hold this photo up to your ear, you can hear the ocean. ©HouseofJules Photography



This was my last shot of the day. I noticed these 2 teenagers walking the beach together earlier, and as I was getting ready to snap the photo of the 2 showers with the fogged-out pier in the background, they sort of unknowingly ambled into my frame. I have no idea what they were looking at but they stood like that just long enough for me to get the shot. I know it looks like they're superimposed, but I have the negative to prove that they're not. Yes, a negative. As in film. Remember film? ©HouseofJules Photography

Proof that the ability to HOLD your liquor is not in direct relation to the size of your mitts

Jessica Simpson could show a lot of jazz with those hands.

Speaking of irresponsible wastes...

Until I read the caption that the initials of her new publicity ploy boyfriend are B.M., I thought the letters on this hot mess' new ring stood for something else entirely.

I'm sure I wasn't alone in this line of thinking.

---

In other news having nothing whatsoever to do with being irresponsible or any version of the word 'waste', I'd like to direct you to my latest Twitter update (see the right column or click HERE to read more) regarding the antics from last night/early this morning:

"There's no way to explain how 4 a.m. found us singing Samantha Fox's "Naughty Girls Need Love Too", the "Ghostbusters" Theme, and Wham songs."

If anyone has guesses as to what came before or even what inspired said sing-a-longs, please leave them all in the comments. I can't wait to see if any of you can help piece it all back together, since we cannot, for the life of us, figure out how we ended up belting out classic tunes of such high caliber.

***We were NOT even karaoke-ing, so that doesn't explain it.***

I did, however, impress (or was it sadden? It was hard to tell.) with my total recall of Every. Single. Lyric. of all 3 songs (Samantha Fox's "Naughty Girls Need Love, Too; The Ghostbusters Theme; and the incredible "Battlestations", by Wham!). If you didn't already know, "Battlestations" is my favorite Wham! song, which frankly is like asking a mother to choose which child she loves the best.

If you know the song or clicked on the hotlink to read the lyrics, this should tell you a lot about me, being that I chose it over their phenomenal tunes, "Wake me up before you go-go" and especially "Careless Whisper"; a song full of profound lyrics... like, "I'm never gonna dance again. Guilty feet have got no rhythm".

All his fancy book-learnin' and he still wouldn't know IRONY if it hit him in the mouth!

I need you to ignore the troubled female who is the topic of every media outlet in the universe and please focus on helping me understand why anyone would MAKE A PUBLIC STATEMENT on regretting the PREVIOUS PUBLIC STATEMENT:


Also "not helpful"? Another public statement.

Now is as good a time as any to share the importance of utilizing the occupational training (skills that pay the bills) of your friends to your own personal advantage. You have to pay them back in kind, though. I reimburse my friends with photography and design work or in charming witticisms, though I'm sure they'd prefer cash. 

I have two who most often answer the pressing questions that keep me awake at night. Staci (with an "i") is an orthodontist who always treats my frantic e-mails with the kind of respect that only someone with impeccable bedside manner and infinite patience is capable of. Especially because these e-mails usually begin with something like, "What in sam hell happened to the roof of this woman's mouth and could it have been caused by watching too much reality TV, because if so I could be in trouble, right!?" or "When you volunteered at that clinic, did you treat any meth addicts who smoked their own teeth because I just read an article about a man who actually did that and I am still in disbelief!?".

She should not be confused with Stacey (with an 'ey'), a nurse currently back in med school on her way to becoming a doctor. I talk to her about things like what it takes to REALLY impress Clooney and how doing Jägerbombs leads to *inappropriate touching (whatever THAT is). All weighty, far-reaching topics that Indiana University is bound to do research studies on, fingers crossed. I don't abuse their free advice and my questions are always of the utmost importance. Like the subjects of this trio of e-mails between Orthodontist-Staci and I:

Stac,
Please tell me, assuming that you can get past the enormity of his cranium, if any of Dr. Phil's chompers are real. While you're at it, why have Cruizazy's front teeth grown out of his noggin all shifted over sideways? Was it all the couch-jumping? Be honest.



Head size comparison to scale. Yes, Dr. Phil's is that enormous.

Jules,
Dr. Phil has had major dental work; probably a crown (cap) on EVERY. SINGLE. TOOTH. Tom Cruise is missing an upper left tooth near the front (I believe it's the upper left lateral incisor), so his dental midline is totally shifted over to the left. I don't know what those braces he had a while ago did, but it really didn't fix it. His teeth are still f**ked up.

Stac,
Do they make crowns that would fit over Dr. Phil's entire mouth (mustache and all) because he really could use one as a deterrent to making all of these regrettable public statements. In regards to Cruise: Interesting that his teeth and his public image continue to be equally f**ked up after making that regrettable public statement about Brooke Shield's postpartum depression. What can only be next for Dr. Phil is to take his own turn jumping on Oprah's couch. Oh wait, that's how he got his own talk show.

*For the record, I still call bullsh*t on the whole "inappropriate touching" thing.

The best part is that I will never have to laser them off

In case you didn't know this, I'm a graphic designer at a small Chicagoland firm; and work Monday-Thursdays, unless we're up against a project deadline and they need me to come in on Friday (which only happens a handful of times through the year because we're a well-oiled machine, and good at getting our work done). I love the people I work for and I would be an idiot to ever complain about my job because there simply is nothing to whine about. The commute is even an unheard of 7-minute drive from where I live, which was a welcome change after commuting over an hour each way in the jobs of years past.

Last week, because we were closed Christmas Eve and Day, I only had to go into the office on Wednesday and Thursday. According to my inbox (and thanks to the best business owners/bosses on the planet), I have the same rough schedule next week as well:


The monotony of another 5-day holiday weekend. Sigh.


I'm going to try really hard to deal with this terrible, horrifying news. While I sit around crying and yelling to the heavens: "WHY, GOD, WHY?", I thought you should see the only thing getting me through these hard times:


Maybe they're not your flavor like they are mine. If they are, though; and if you are having a hard time dealing with looking into your future and wondering how you'll manage long work-weeks, you can score your own pair at Zappos.com

Even though I love the art and history of the tattoo, I am thankful I opted to love my skin-as-it-is a lot more. Because of that, I don't have "Padre Island, Spring Break '93!" inked on my lower back or a Mickey's Big Mouth malt liquor bottle on my hip (and the regret that goes along with either of those options) like some of my college friends do.

Maybe I can't wear the Vans outside today because it has been snowing baseball-sized flakes for the past 3 hours, but you bet your sweet ass I'm wearing them around inside. Like tattoos, the shoes aren't for everyone... but when I saw them online I actually squealed. Less like a pig and more like a school girl, by the way. A school girl who has a 6-pack of Mickey's Big Mouths and 5 snow days ahead of her.


Just kidding about the 6-pack of Mickey's, but back in the day.... ohhhhh, back in the day!

He doesn't know who you are, Jeremy Piven; and he doesn't like where you're standing very much, either!

Dear Jeremy aka Pivs aka J.P.,
I have some good news and some bad news for you.

In September, my future baby-daddy Todd (McMuffin) & I got back in contact after 20 years of lost touch and because Linda Ronstadt sang a chart-topping, terribly cheesy sweet duet called "Somewhere Out There" in an animated movie about a lost Russian mouse who was trying desperately to find his loved ones, we came to the conclusion that one day we'll have a kid together and name him after the singer Peabo Bryson (which was initially because I thought Peabo was the man dueting with Linda, but I was wrong-- he sang "Tonight I celebrate my Love for You, which actually is just as offensive touching).

I know this might not be making sense, but it'll help if you comprehend the bomb I'm about to drop if you read two short posts, serving as background information. First, click to read: McMuffin 1, then click McMuffin 2.


Now that you know the history, I'm going to break the news to you. Prepare yourself. Maybe take a 10-count deep breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Here we go:

The bad news: My future baby-daddy McMuffin found out about us and has e-mailed me his feelings on the subject.

The good news: He has NO IDEA who you are...




Because I realize the male ego is a fragile thing, I know you're probably thinking, "He doesn't know who I am? This is not good news!". However, it is my hope that you choose not to obsess over the fact that you have a lengthy resume in stage, television and motion pictures; including your starring role on Entourage, one of the most successful HBO series of all time (not to mention the collection of Emmys you're currently using as bathroom doorstops throughout your Malibu beach house), and yet, McMuffin was only one of the handful of people who didn't recognize you in the photo(shopped picture) of us.

It's kind of astounding just how many people can't place your name when they ask me who you are, and then when I start firing off everything you've starred in, roles you were seemingly meant to play, these people just shake their heads and have no recollection whatsoever. Nothing you've been in jogs their collective memories. Your face doesn't even remind them of an old college roommate or some random guy they talked to at a bar once.

I know who you are, though, and that's all that matters. Now get over here so we can Hug It Out.

Love, Jules

MTV & VH1 should consider this my contestant application

As a kid I was a crazy fanatic of the game show, Name That Tune, and it always upset me that they never had young contestants. I am sure that show is a part of the reason that I became such a sponge for all types of music at a young age--because I wanted to beat the adults that actually got on the show-- and that love for music has continued through adulthood, along with the desire to kick ass on a show that was unfortunately cancelled 20 years ago.

Yesterday I was working on photo edits of 2 recent shoots, while listening for the first time to Raising Sand, the new Robert Plant/Alison Krauss work of art (produced by the legendary T-Bone Burnett) on my iTunes, when the first couple notes of the next song start up and I thought, "hmm, this one is oddly Maroon 5-ish".

Then, I clicked over to look at iTunes and realized that I had already finished listening to Raising Sand, and the song playing was in fact from the new Maroon 5 album! It seems that I can still Name That Tune in 2 notes, even when I think I'm listening to another band altogether, and that's good news because it looks like MTV/VH1 might be making YET ANOTHER one of my dreams come true:

MTV to play 'Name' game
In an unprecedented move, MTV Networks is developing a new take on "Name that Tune" that will play across its three music-centric cablers: MTV, VH1 and CMT. Basic format of the musical quizzer will remain the same across the MTV universe, but each net will produce original episodes modified to match the musical tastes of its respective target audience. That means MTV viewers will see contestants trying to identify tunes by T-Pain or Timbaland, while players on the CMT: Country Music Television version might attempt to guess a song by Shania Twain or Carrie Underwood.

"The play-along element of the show was so strong that it has to remain the same," said Graden. "There's something about hearing a melody and that great rush you get when you know what the song is."

newsource

Three reasons I love doing photo shoots

Charissa's son Rhea


Kate's daughter Lilly

The third and most important reason I love doing photo shoots of these particular children is because they both have well-behaved parents, which is harder to come by than you'd think.