Imogen Heap aka Frou Frou: Odd stage names but sound advice through beautiful lyric, notes, voice and song

This could be my grief talking (anger stage, is that you?), but I'd like to find the douchebag with the ringing cell phone (at 1:26) and punch them in the face.

With. Their. Ringing. Phone.


Imogen Heap/Frou Frou's "Let Go"

Ex-Oh Ex-Oh

I can't believe you're gone, Jack.

Tomorrow is going to be one of the suckiest days of my life.

I Love you more,

(Ex-Oh Ex-Oh)

(I think) I'm the friend. I have definite confirmation that I'm not the "bend" or the "end", anyway.

As we grow from kids to teens to undergrads to adults, friendships seem to get both more simplified and more complex. Simplified because it's only natural to have your social life streamline to a degree as couples commit their lives and futures to each other and begin to create their own self-sufficient family units; the double-edge of that sword being that the friendships surviving this new phase become, in certain ways, more complicated to maintain. There are many other priorities and things to focus on.

Before I was 17, I had already moved around the country with my family 5 different times; which taught me the value, importance, and hard work of maintaining friendships. They won't survive on history alone. No glory days are glorious enough to render a truly everlasting friendship that allows people to grow into themselves. One friend can't take on the burden of maintaining a friendship. It never works. If it's a road you'd like to continue on with someone else, you have to realize that the output of energy into your friendship, as with any other kind of relationship, is a two-way street.

Some of my closest friends to this day are the ones I haven't lived in the same town with for 20 years, and thankfully those friendships are based on a long history but aren't dependent on the "old days"-- even if I only speak with them a few times a year--to survive. I can't say the same for some friends I've lost along the way, though, stuck on a page in the past; wrapped up in old stories and glories that they were seemingly (and sadly) never meant to advance beyond.

I'm sure everyone has gone through this kind of thing. My old--and current(!)--friend Amy has recently blogged about it as well. A few years ago (and a few years before that!) I went through some very difficult things involving this subject and am pretty certain I'm the friend she refers to in the opening paragraph.

I'm sharing this link to her post, "Friends, Bends and Ends", in case you are going through something painfully similar and would feel better knowing you aren't alone, because you're definitely not.

But what happens if you find yourself remaining in a friendship with someone with whom you have only one thing in common: history?
-ACH

photo © ach

I'm famous, but without the 2-hour stint in a women's correctional facility or rehab, also without the trust fund

Ooooh, okay... so I'm not famous at all.

Today (Friday) is a big day because it's the last weekday of summer vacation before D&J--my hilarious and charming nephews--have to go back to school. To send summer off with a bang, Missy & I are taking them to a couple of old school Chicago classics: Superdawg and Original Rainbow Cone. Both places are out of the way, and also far apart-- but the last Friday of summer is a big deal, so we're going to go have a blast despite the heat, the rain and the traffic.

Missy asked me a few days ago if I had any suggestions of places to go in between the dogs and before the cones, and I spent a good hour doing searches on several chicago-centric travel sites until it hit me: E-mail the geniuses at Chicagoist, one of my daily read-it-like-it's-a-religion websites. If anyone could give us some great ideas, they were the ones to ask.

On Tuesday, I emailed about 10 people on staff directly, but didn't hear anything back. I was surprised that not one of them responded, even just to tell me that they didn't come up with anything either, or that in the future if I want to get some answers maybe I should email people with a little more lead-time because the world does not revolve around me and I shouldn't expect society to bend at my every little whim.

Here's my very-short-notice email request to Chicagoist:

Dear Chicagoist geniuses:
My sister & I are taking my nephews to 2 special places in Chicago in 2 days-- their last Friday of the summer before school starts. We're hitting Superdawg (the original location: 6363 N Milwaukee Ave, 60646) and then heading to Rainbow Cone (9233 S Western Ave, 60620).

We live in the Naperville area and since both those places are not only kind of a hike in traffic but they're also far apart, we are hoping you have any ideas of things we can do in between the 2 places. I've already done a few internet searches but am having trouble finding anything that would be on the way from Superdawg to Rainbow Cone.... and heading us towards home.

The boys are 12 & 15, so if there are any fun shops/activities you can think of, that would be great. They love quirky places like Uncle Fun. Any help/ideas you have would be MUCH appreciated!

Turns out that I absolutely CAN expect society to bend at my every whim, even at the last minute; and that I was a fool to have doubted the Chicagoist staff for an instant because today they actually posted my email on the site with several suggestions, and some readers also commented, leaving even more ideas. Just one of the many reasons I love my city.

I love you, too, Chicagoist geniuses. Please don't get upset when I take ALL the credit for your last minute hard work & research when my 12 & 15 year old nephews tell us how much fun they had on the last Friday before going back to school. Since I'm the "cool" aunt I have a reputation to protect, especially now that I'm famous.

Click here to see their suggestions.

If my high school had required GPS-laced uniforms, my parents would have assumed I was headed for pilot training after graduation

School uniforms track kids
Parents already have a way to monitor kids' phone calls and text messages, and soon they might have the means to track children wearing school uniforms.

An English manufacturer of uniforms is considering adding satellite tracking devices to its line of school clothing so that parents can locate their child's whereabouts at all times, according to an article from the Daily Telegraph in Australia. The manufacturer, Lancashire-based Trutex, believes there is a demand for such clothing. In a recent survey of its own, the company found that 59 percent of 800 parents surveyed were interested in buying uniforms with embedded Global Positioning Systems.

Still, it seems unlikely that a teenager would willingly wear a GPS-laced outfit. According to the article, only half of kids 12 and under (who were surveyed) said that they wouldn't mind wearing the clothes.

I hope the manufacturers weren't surprised that the teenagers surveyed--and I'm willing to bet the ones who weren't surveyed would concur--would be unlikely to wear clothes that their parents can track.

My parents would have spent many nights wondering how my photography and art classes in high school tied into all those nights at the airport. What would your parents have wondered?


newsource

That's not Lake Minnetonka

This clip from Chappelle's Show will never get old!


"How about you and your friends versus me & The Revolution?"

Click here if you need something more substantial to satiate that Prince fix.

Class of 2026, arriving both early AND late.

Riley & Aiden, fresh from the oven.

Sue ("Scooter" to me!) & Todd's little ones arrived today, both early and late.

"Early" because their official due date was set to be next month, on September 18th.

"Late" because a week ago, Scooter had enough of the whole pregnancy thing and let it be known to all people--near and far--that the babies had 5 more days to enjoy the womb, and then they had to pack up and get out. An important parental lesson: Eviction notices don't work on tenants still in utero. She expected compliance, but they made her sweat it out for 2 more days.

So, there you have it... early AND late. But really, right on time.



Back in the day: Their first House of Jules shout-out!

Dorothy only wishes her ruby slippers were this cute

Gentlemen: This particular post is going to put you to sleep, so skip this post and scroll down to read something else, or come back later this weekend when I'll have something up here with more testosterone.

Ladies: I just ordered the cutest pair of shoes, and they were less than $30, which means they were 70% off regular price, and ground shipping was free!

Introducing my new, adorable pair of Mella denim peep-toe wedges:






They also come in black, blue and striped denim. I almost got a black pair, too, but figured I should wait to get the red and make sure I like them. They're final sale since they're 70% off.

Your very own pair of Mella peep-toes can be yours for under $30 by clicking here.

I only wish it was longer!

That's what he said.


Do those obsessed female "Claymates" cheering in the audience STILL think one day he's going to be interested in any of them? Even after seeing this? Really? WOW.


One video leads to the next. I laughed for 2 minutes straight (no pun intended) after watching this 8-second video titled, "What is Clay thinking?". The fact that whoever uploaded it in slow-motion (meaning that in real-time, this actually took about 1.5 seconds) is hilarious.

You'll watch this twice, trust me. "Claymates" are advised to watch it at least 4 times.

Using oldest break-up excuse in history, Rove tells Bush, "It's not you, it's me." Bush responds with lyrics from 1988 soft rock classic.

If you see me walking by, and the tears are in my eyes...look away, baby look away. If we meet on the street someday, and I don't know what to say...don't look at me. I don't want you to see me this way.

Emotional Rove announces 'next chapter'
WASHINGTON (CNN) -- An emotional Karl Rove characterized his tenure in the White House as a "witness to history" as he announced his resignation as President Bush's senior political adviser at the end of this month. "It seems the right time to start thinking about the next chapter in our family's life," Rove said, his voice breaking. "It's not been an easy decision."

Speaking to reporters outside the White House with Bush at his side, Rove said discussions about his departure began last summer. "It always seemed there was a better time to leave, somewhere out there in the future. But now is the time." He told Bush he would be "your fierce and committed advocate on the outside."

Speaking at the White House before leaving for his ranch in Crawford, Texas, Bush called Rove "a dear friend," and said, "I'll be on the road behind you here in a little bit."


"I'll be on the road behind you here in a little bit. Right after I finish listening to this Chicago song, that will always remind me of you, Rovey."

Source

In '96, her song was 'Killing Me Softly', but these days she seems to be way too loud

So to speak.


Click here to read why this recent photo of Lauren Hill proves my point on the importance of borders.



photo source

Don't threaten me with a good time!

Have you ever been to a restaurant where they'll make you a "real" cherry coke with coca-cola, cherries, and grenadine (or just cherry juice)? If you haven't, you are seriously missing out. Never fear though; you can make them yourself at home! FYI: I only do this every once in a while because they're totally addictive.

I was at the grocery store the other night and was parched. Could have been the 1000 degree weather, I don't know... it doesn't really matter. What DOES matter is that I just so happened to be walking slowly down the condiment aisle when a beautiful light from the heavens--or possibly just the fluorescents above aisle 7--drew my eyes to the most glorious thing I have ever seen next to a jar of olives:

May I introduce you to the whiskey spiked cherry?

Here is the actual description from the Sable and Rosenfeld website:

Whiskey 'Spiked' Tipsy Cherries
'Cocktail ready' long stemmed colossal cherries spiked with Malt Whiskey. Perfect for the classic Manhattan and the trend setting Vogue Martini.
-Deep, rich burgundy color
-Shapely, firm and long stemmed
-Perfect cocktail, dessert and hors d'oeuvres garnish

How, in all my years of enjoying dirty martinis with Sable and Rosenfeld's blue cheese stuffed olives, did I not realize that they had drunken cherries just lazing about on the grocery store shelves? How, I ask you?

Suddenly, I was overwhelmed with the possibilities within each jar of wasted cherries. Once I got past the excitement over cherry coke with whisky cherry garnishes, I thought, "Hello Jack & Coke. I'm about to blow your liquid mind and drop a tipsy cherry or two in here. Don't worry, Jack & Coke! It's still going to be "you", only BETTER"... and so it was.



If you know what reality show the title of this post refers to, you must be as uncomfortable as I am on Sunday nights. Yet, you still watch, don't you? I know, it's so wrong.

I always knew she'd end up with a doctor, even if he only plays one on TV (and if she's lucky, when they're at home)

They've been doing the African Anteater Ritual (euphemism alert!) together since 1987.

Happy Birthday, Dr. Space Face!
Just as I predicted in Ms. Little's science class when we were 12 that one day you'd be a doctor, it has been inspiring to watch you take on Med school while working your "day job" as a nurse and raising 2 adorable daughters to be kind human beings at the same time. You put overachievers to shame. Or maybe just lazier people like me. Either way, you're putting people to shame, and that's something you overachievers ought to be proud of!

If we lived closer, you know I would have showed up at your door tonight with our favorite game, SCRUPLES™, just so I could ask you the most absurdly written moral dilemma questions and hear you answer with "DEPENDS". Then we'd laugh for hours until the neighbors complained, just like we did 20 years ago.


Sample SCRUPLES™ question: "If you were dating a guy and found out he was into illegally cross-breeding farm animals to finance his addictions, and also, he is a priest, would you break up with him?" Your typical answer: "DEPENDS." The best part was hearing you explain your answer, and somehow at the end of your turn, "DEPENDS" made sense to me. Or maybe it was all those drinks.

You're selling 34, baby. Ok, you're not REALLY 'selling' it, (unless Mike Rowe was 'buying') but you get what I mean. I'm so proud of all the things you've gotten through and risen above this year! You met all those hurdles head-on, and handled them with grace, class & dignity.

Speaking of dignity, one of these days we'll run into T & N, and then I'll reenact the science lab incident, so you can break it down and understand how intentions to tickle my 8th grade crush while looking in the opposite direction can end up being less of an innocent tickle and more of a surprising handful for the entire class to witness. I'd live through that hour again just for you. And a little for me. But now that I really think about it, mostly for N! I just hope Faith Hill isn't there to yell at me about my grabby hands. Since I don't know how to track down the men from out teenage past, your actual gift today is that I won't Hassle the Hoff, nor will I recite Mr. Poindexter's "Who are we?" "Farragut!" cheer. You're welcome.

Love and Walking like Egyptians for life,
"Shut up, Julie"


The African Anteater Ritual!

Sting's 30 years of fame versus Max Headroom's 15 minutes of lame

Here are some shots of The Englishman in New York at Madison Square Garden this past Sunday night, to be exact.

He may be the King of Pain but I'm here to tell you that I'd have a serious problem keeping my hands off of His Royal Highness' heiney.

Someone must have asked him how he'd respond if I was standing right in front of him onstage:

His song lyrics say, "Don't stand so close to me", but his lips are saying something else altogether.

What is this shot abstractly reminiscent of?

Forever battling that Red Light with those baby blues.

Ahh yes, if you squint, you'll see an ever-so-slight resemblance:

M-M-M-ax Headroom, pop culture creation for 2 seconds in 1988.

Sting wins.

Photos taken by House of Jules Remote Correspondent, Shula. Thanks Shu!

The people of Mobile, Alabama need to start reading this blog!

If only they had read my recent Public Service Announcement, this whole thing could have been easily avoided. People, I'm here to help!

Motorist Who Flipped Off Cop Gets $3,000

MOBILE, Ala. -- The Mobile Police Department has been ordered to pay $3,000 to a government engineer who was arrested for cursing and making an obscene hand gesture to an officer.

He sought $10,000 in damages from the police department because of time lost from work, the threat of losing his job, and the embarrassment of being put in jail. Mobile County District Judge Michael McMaken awarded DeBoi the money last week, saying that police officers must have "thicker skin" than the general public.

newsource

"Oh, what you do to me" is torture

"Hey there" Chicago radio stations:
I know you're excited because they are hometown boys, but if I hear Plain White T's "Hey There, Delilah" on the radio one more time, I'm going to vomit. It's enough, already. You all need to be sent to "Hey There, Rehab".

There are plenty of other Chicago indie bands to start showcasing, for instance, The Record Low. Try to work on that.

Public Service Announcement: The best way to tell someone off, today, forever and always

My new favorite phrase is a memorable movie quote, and I have put it to use the past few months--most recently, last night when I got cut off in traffic. The guy driving like a jerk didn't hear me, but I sure felt better having said it.

Coincidentally, when I got home I caught a rerun of a sitcom that Gene Wilder was on, which made me wonder if anyone had posted the particular Willy Wonka scene with said phrase on YouTube. I shouldn't have wondered. Of course it was there, and now it's here not only for your enjoyment, but more importantly, for you to learn the best way to tell someone off.

I highly recommend saying this as much as possible. It will make you feel so much better. It's good in many varied situations and I always end up smiling after I say it, even if only on the inside. If it's not possible for you to say it without losing your job or your spouse filing for divorce-- just THINK it to yourself!


You really haven't lived until you've ended a tension-filled moment with this phrase. Even more satisfying: saying it directly to, or in regards to, a female. Nothing, not even the big "F/U", can beat this.

I promise, the frustration you feel will magically lift from your body and fly away, most likely landing on the people who haven't read this educational post on my blog. You're welcome.

I'm going to have to work on a t-shirt design for this. Will keep you updated.

America, F**K YEAH!

I know Team America: World Police came out a couple of years ago, but I just saw it. The guys who created South Park are responsible for this movie, so you'd be a fool to expect anything less than maximum irreverence--but this was off the charts... and HILARIOUS. I have never seen a better musical/action farce. Adding to the charming offensiveness is that there is not one live actor in this movie. It is all marionettes, all the time.

The theme song is titled, "America, F**K YEAH!", and is perfectly suited to the movie. It's basically what every action movie theme song strives to be. You can hear snips of all the great songs from the movie if you do a search for Team America on iTunes. The country twanger "Freedom isn't free" taught me that freedom actually costs each of us "a buck-oh-eight". Brilliant.

WARNING: Do not listen to it at work, around children and especially your judgmental mother-in-law. You've been warned.

I'll leave you with a small taste (distaste?) of the twisted genius that is the collaboration of Matt Stone/Trey Parker and Team America:

If you've ever seen the Broadway show RENT, you will probably laugh out loud at this movie clip.


It goes without saying that everyone having AIDS, and the AIDS epidemic in general, is not funny in any way, shape, or form. Except in the above movie clip.