An Englishman in New York (and D.C., and back to New York; then finally home to Paris!)

I have a recap and an update from THIS TEASER POST for you... and what an update it is! Just sit back, relax, and read on. But first, let me set the mood by reminding you of one thing from last month. I have never written truer words than these:

You know my crazy plans, don't you? The ones in which I attempt to bend space and time and break every rule of gravity and all human expectation to get something somewhere on the tightest of deadlines; and they never, ever go smoothly, but they almost always have a positive end result? Yes, those are the plans of which I speak.

Back in October, I wrote THIS POST about a newly published book that I was drooling over and had just ordered. Sure, the post was also a thinly veiled excuse to write about how hot Javier Bardem is, but it was mostly about the book and how brilliant the person who came up with the idea to create such a book must be. A few days later, he came across my blog and I got a hilarious e-mail from him (the author, not Javier Bardem...yet), which I posted HERE.

Once I received the books--one for me and one for a gift--I wrote to ask if I sent him the books with a stamped return envelope, would he be cool with signing them for me? I give you the following e-mail excerpts (believe it or not, I cut some things out!) from the adventure that was to be. You'll have to read it yourself (click on the images to enlarge, obviously) to believe it:


A continuation of the previous posted emails between us, in which I ask if he'd be willing to sign my copy and the one I bought as a gift for a friend, along with his response that he was in NYC for a short time, then off to Washington DC, then back to NYC for a few days; and finally will be flying home to Paris; but that he'd be glad to meet me in NYC for a one-person book signing! Too bad I don't live in NYC anymore.



The short timeframe (he leaves the country in 6 days, and will not be in one place throughout that time for long!) will prove to be less of a problem than all the other obstacles, like the USPS and a forgotten-about-until-it's-too-late holiday weekend. I will have to overnight the books for delivery at the NYC location where he won't even be at until he returns from Washington D.C. It's going to be a real shot-in-the-dark for this to actually happen, which is okay with me because I like a challenge. He's game for it as well!



I email him with the overnighted package's tracking number and alert him that unfortunately, even though I checked off that it could be left without signature, that the post office did NOT follow those instructions and it would be held for pickup at the post office for 5 days, after which it'll be returned to sender. He'll be leaving the country before that time, so this is a problem; however he generously suggests that one of the friends he is staying with might be able to hit the post office on his lunch break to pick it up for Mark (who has a meeting and won't be able to get there himself), and then writes, "Don't worry, I'm sure we'll sort it out!"



This has officially turned into a comedy of errors. I called the post office hotline and am reminded that it's a holiday weekend (Veteran's Day), which means NO MAIL SERVICE, and he leaves for Paris in just over 24 hours. Things are looking grim, but I knew going in that it would not be easy to make this happen. Even at the end, if getting the books signed didn't work out, I'd have a fantastic story, I have made a new friend, and I totally appreciate the rarified experience for what it was! Once again, Mark bends over backward to reassure me that he's in this with me. If he didn't have a sense of humor, this would not have been the case.



We've realized that an exchange of cell phone numbers might help in the 'synchronization of our watches' (so to speak) and trying to stay one step ahead of the barrier that is the USPS. Seems as if the eventuality of mailing them to him once he returns to Paris would have been easier than all of this ridiculousness, and yet still, he laughs it off. This man should be cloned.



I made early morning phone calls to 2 different NYC post offices to find out where the books are being held, and how I can make it as simple as possible for Mark to pick them up. By this time, he has only mere hours before he's on a plane and has many other things he could be doing with his remaining time in Manhattan. His only real concern at this point is not how much energy he's put into this caper for a perfect stranger, but if he'll be able to retrieve the package from the post office himself because the addresses on the package (his friend's apartment) and on his ID (from home) will not match; wonders if he'll have to get plastic surgery to look like the people who live in said apartment (upon reading that very descriptive hilarity, I laugh & spit out the orange juice I was drinking). Also, he apologizes to ME because of the "drama" of the situation. It's very possible that he is superhuman.



I assure him that his name is, in fact, on the mailing label and I did confirm with the post office that as long as he had his ID, he'd have no problem with it being released to him. By now our emails mostly consist of apologizing back and forth.



He emails, "...the job is done!!!!", but what he had to actually go through once at the post office is beyond my comprehension. I can't even sum it up in this caption. You'll have to click on this image to read it for yourself. I can't believe he went through all of that trauma right before he had to hop a flight back home. His generosity with the small amount of personal time he had in the past 6 days blows my mind, and I'm absolutely convinced that even the people who love me the most in the world probably would have given up days ago (except my sister).



Mark checking in from Paris, wondering if I've gotten the books yet.



The books arrive!



Mark e-mails to tell me that in the hour after I wrote THIS post, naming his book as one of "My Favorite Things", it jumped 99 spots up the Amazon charts (which he credits to you, the House of Jules readers)!.



Success!



"For Jules, Hope this gives you something truly drool-worthy! Bravo on getting them here, Mark Ovenden"


Not only did I get an incredible book signed by the author; but I gained a lot of faith in mankind (and a new friend!). There really are people in the world who will agree that what you're going to try might be a little bit crazy and close to impossible, but they're willing to go along for the ride with you. They're ready to make an attempt at bending space and time, breaking every rule of gravity and all human expectation; and that my friends, is what life is all about.



Yes, that REALLY is my Amazon.com review of his book. REALLY.



Click HERE to order Mark's book, Transit Maps of the World!