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Sunday, November 22, 2009

Newton's Third Law of Motion

When you're behind a senior citizen who is fumbling through the motion of sliding her card through that payment machine at the register (due to a combination of painful-looking arthritic hands and the fact that she's from a different era, before slick technology took over everything), let me suggest that you conserve your energy.

Rolling your eyes, tapping your big black boots, sighing heavily, or going so far as to say, "C'mon! hurry up, lady!" under your breath--but loud enough for those of us behind you in line to hear--because she's not moving fast enough for you is either totally lost on the old person you're annoyed with or will make her even more nerve-wracked.

Be as irritated as you damn well please, but you best KEEP IT ON THE INSIDE because as you've just experienced-- if I'm around and you're acting like that-- I will step to you and you won't like it*.

Chances are that one day, you will be old and judging by your attitude, really lonely. BE A LITTLE BIT HUMAN.

If you can't handle that, tough guy, order your Arizona Iced Tea** online.

*Or maybe he did like it, because he actually apologized to her.

**For the record: I like Arizona Iced Tea. What I don't like are assholes.



Tara R. said...

Good for you!! It takes no effort to be civil, he needed an attitude adjustment.

Melisa with one S said...

Yay! Go you!

Anonymous said...

Well said, Jules. Old people rock, in my book. I always picture them saying something like, "Were YOU around when laundry was done in boiling hot water and a freaking washboard and LYE and a clothesline? I THOUGHT NOT.

Kristen said...

One of my favorite activities to do to people who are acting awful in public is to look at them and say "Are you serious?" I find it's quite effective in getting them to act more human. If not, I will further explain why they are horrifying me. I am totally a member of the Etiquette Police, self-appointed.

Anonymous said...

Well I almost always find myself in that kind of line. Yes that will happen to everyone someday.

Feel luck if you don't have those problems.

Grandma W

trash said...


dk said...

Huzzah bebe! And give them a seat on the bus, or a seat on the bench and hold the damn door open.