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Friday, November 20, 2009

'F' as in Phonetic

As someone whose last name ends with double f's, I grew up hearing my parents tell other people, "'f' as in Frank, 'f' as in Frank" whenever getting the spelling right was important. This comes up in life more often than you think, and there are certain letters in the alphabet that sound distinctly and consistently like another letter altogether. I can't tell you how many times I've run into lost reservations or communication errors simply because "'f', 'f'" sounds a lot like "'s', 's'".

Just about the time I hit college, I took on the "'f' as in Frank, 'f' as in Frank" thing... but over the years have decided to spice it up from time to time. It's all about avoiding monotony, really. I have actually used the following replacements for "Frank-Frank":

"'F' as in fo'shizzle, 'F' as in fo'shizzle"

"'F' as in festivus, 'F' as in for the restivus"

"'F' as in finger guns, 'F' as in finger guns... pew pew (childlike gun sounds)" (using this one when face-to-face with someone is most effective. I highly recommend putting it to use at fancy places, topping it all of with a little wink at the end.)

"'F' as in Fight Club, 'F' as in Fight Club... but we do not talk about Fight Club"

"'F' as in effing get this right, 'F' as in if you eff this up I will hunt you down in the darkness of night"



It's the little things that make me giggle.

When I saw The Unhelpful Phonetic Alphabet earlier today over at The Ragbag it made me laugh so 'f' as in freaking hard that I've only stopped long enough to share it with the rest of you!


I really, really wish my name had a 'd' in it so I could say, "'d' as in double-you".


I can already hear myself making reservations for Jeremy & I:

"Yes, Mr. & Mrs. Jeremy Piven. 'P' as in pneumonic, 'i' as in ichthyoacanthotoxism, 'v' as in vajayjay, 'e' as in effect, 'n' as in naughty."


Naughty, indeed!



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10 comments:

Gene said...

We have a fast food chain that passes under the guise of Mexican that asks for names when you go through the drive-thru. I always say my name but when I get my order, there's always something like "Steve," "Dean," or "Glen" written on the receipt.

And I say it passes under the guise of Mexican because they serve seasoned tater-tots, which are referred to as "Mexi-fries." Fiesta!

House of Jules said...

@Steve/Dean/Glen... I MEAN GENE! That is hilarious!! I gotta know what this mexican place is called that serves tots as mexi-fries. Too good.

Gene said...

It's called Amigo's. For fast food it's pretty average, unless it's 1AM and you're intoxicated. Then it's fantastic.

House of Jules said...

OF COURSE it's called Amigo's. Of course. I need to make my way to "NEERASKA", land of the gradient license plates and mexi-fries one of these days!

Anonymous said...

YES, I feel for you my maiden name was much easier to spell (I think) or mybe it was worse.

Grandma W

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

Oh crap that is funny! I am so stealing that and posting it on the pilots forum since we have to do that all the time.

November 711 Papa Juliet off freq.

Gene said...

Jules, you will be pleasantly surprised at what a nice place Nebraska is.

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

Oh, on the topic of "interesting" Mexican eateries, in Muskogee Oklahoma (where apparently they don’t smoke marijuana) there is a place called Taco Grande.

Really, is Big Taco the most creative name we can come up with?

Perhaps then they should at least *try* some dope? :0 Well, I guess if it’s good enough a name for the Bolshoi (Russian for big) Ballet I guess it’s good enough for a Taco joint. Da tovarich?

House of Jules said...

@GrandmaW/Mom: I do think your maiden name was easier to spell & understand over the phone!

@Rob: I would love to hear that over the PA system on a passenger flight! I died over "Big Taco! So creative!

@Gene: I don't think I'd be surprised at all. I've heard great things about your state... AND, one of my fave indie bands (now defunct... tears!!) is from there! Ever heard of Shaking Tree?

Gene said...

I haven't but I'll check them out.