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Wednesday, August 6, 2008

It was a dark and stormy night... seriously!


It really, really was.

If you've been keeping up with my twitter updates in the right sidebar (or you can follow them directly here), you know by now that we had terrible weather in Chicago on Monday; weather that included emergency alerts ordering everyone to dive into the nearest basement, the city storm-siren going off, a neighborhood-wrecking tornado that touched down 6 miles from where I was taking cover in my (empty) bathtub, and the delight of a 24-hour power outage.

Of course there have been more devastating storms around the world, but it was pretty intense. I have never heard Mother (Mutha!) Nature make such terrible, cringe-worthy and evil sounds as I did on Monday night. I love a good rainstorm, but I'm not going to lie; for about 45 minutes I was actually scared. Like, HOLY-SH*T,-I'M-GONNA-DIE scared. I got through it unscathed, thankfully. My only connection to other people and activities to pass the time was my cell phone, so between that and the crazy weather, I was able to enjoy the following:

1) Congratulating myself for money well-spent, Part 1
The video game Tetris that I purchased for my cell phone last month more than paid for itself, and is the best $2.99 ever spent. Not to be confused with The Best $29.99 Ever Spent.

2) I laughed, I cried!
After sending a 86% serious text message with the general sentiment being, "HOLY SH*T, I'M GONNA DIE", my favorite [Cherry] Ride responded with a diversionary tactic, which is exactly what I needed: "Good luck & be safe! Meanwhile, weather here is perfect & I am tan again... (I laughed) ...The men here are awesome, get on a plane & join me!" (I cried. Almost.)

3) Twitter, twutter, tweet!
Twittering is the modern-day smoke signal and I love it. It allows me to send 140-character (or less) text message "tweets" to the right sidebar of my blog, without being anywhere near a computer. Click here to follow me directly on twitter.

4) My own personal weather girl, straight outta Texas.
My friend Jen felt compelled to watch the weather channel and supply me with 20-minute storm updates after I sent her a panicky text message that may or may not have mentioned something about it sounding like Hell's choir outside, and "HOLY SH*T, I'M GONNA DIE". Sensing a theme?

5) Congratulating myself for money well-spent, Part 2
Awhile ago, I bought a live version of Jimmy Buffet's "Why Don't We Get Drunk & Screw" and assigned it as a special ringtone for a few of my friends serial drunk-dialers in my life. I won't mention any names because the guilty parties know who they are. In addition to it being the perfect ringtone for certain people, it's a good song to listen to repeatedly while sitting in your bathtub during inclement weather because who can think about the roof tearing off (and not in the GOOD way*) when you're consumed with thoughts of consuming margaritas?:

Why Dont We Get Drunk - Jimmy Buffett
Double-click on the 'play' arrow if you have trouble with the imeem player.

6) Deciding ComEd qualifies as a drunk-dialer
I went ahead and assigned the "Why Don't We Get Drunk and Screw" ringtone to the electric company after one too many puzzling power outage update phone calls from their automated messaging system. My favorite recorded call from them was, and I quote, "We understand that restoration times are important, but accurate restoration times are more important." Talking nonsense in circles is the classic drunk-dial, and obviously their automated messaging system was wasted.

7) Attempting my earliest bedtime since 9th grade
I tried--and failed--going to bed before my usual time of 1:30 a.m since there was no sign of my power coming back on anytime soon and it was either sleep or sweat. Just as my head hit the pillow, my phone rang (I'll give you one guess which ringtone!) and I ended up on a 3-way phone call from the aforementioned Jen and our very old friend Danny, who we just reconnected with after 20 years. It was kind of like them calling to make sure I was still alive and then killing me with the crushing realization of how many years have gone by since we were all in the same classroom. Thanks, guys!

8) Being an optimist, even in little ways
All that time playing Tetris, text messaging, song-playing, and talking on the phone meant that the battery was running on empty. The electricity was still out, but I decided that just in case it came back on before morning, I'd plug it into the charger and hope for the best. That ended up being a no-go, but it did have just enough juice left to beep for the alarm I set before it died the death.

9) Confirming that I'm not optomistic enough to consider romantic showering a SOLO endeavor.
My bathroom doesn't have any natural light, and even the bright light of day from my bedroom couldn't do anything for the cave my shower seemed to be that morning. So, I put 3 big candles usually kept in the living room on my bathroom counter, but purely out of necessity. Unfortunately.

10) Getting proof that the next generation is awesome, and they love me. Or awesome because they love me, I'm not sure which.
After my non-romantic candlelit shower, I went to my sister's house to charge my phone before work. Luckily they weren't affected by the storm at all, and they only live 15 miles from me. While there, I read this email from Jen about her daughter, who happens to be my favorite 10-year old. After you read this, she might be your favorite 10-year old, too:

Katie shared her "My prars to God and other stuff" journal with me this morning and her prayer for last night was:
"Augist 4, 2008. Dear Loard, plese keep Juley safe from the tornatow and protect her."
She may not be able to spell, but she has such a good heart! The funniest thing is how she spells "AMEN". Ready for this?  All Men!!! She does have a lot of her mother in her, doesn't she?



You have learned well, Grasshopper! You even know how to hold onto a tree during a tornatow!    Image ©HouseofJules


Going by that All Men thing, she certainly does have a lot of her mother in her... and maybe a little bit of her, ahem, more discriminating "Aunt Juley", too. Since I don't spell like a 10-year old, I think I'll take partial credit for her sweetness sassiness.

Long story short: holy sh*t, I didn't die! To that I say, All men, everybody, all men.


*If you read that phrase and didn't actually click the hotlink, you're missing out on a good thing. Scroll back up to number 5 and click the purple words! You're welcome.

9 comments:

AutoSysGene said...

All men!! I'm never going to say Amen again. I like the way this girl thinks!

I'm so glad to hear that you DIDN'T die..it would be so scary if you were posting and you had.

lindsey said...

A few thoughts, in no particular order.

1. I think now would be a good time to come to Utah and visit Spam and me.

2. Utah may not sound appealing, but we really do have lots of scooter/bike riders to gawk at.

3. Maybe you just need to become more familiar with your showerhead. I've heard that's one way to make a candlelight shower more romantic.

4. I'm twitter-pated by your updates.

Troop 542 said...

So, I'm gonna go out on a limb here....I'm guessing I have the Jimmy ringtone?

Dear Loard,
Thank you for keeping Juley safe.

All Men

House of Jules said...

@Melissa: Right? She's brilliant. The student my be becoming the master.

@Linds: 1) I agree 100%! 2) An eyeful of large men on scooters sounds exactly like what the doctor ordered. 3) Actually, forget my previous response to number 2. A new shower head sounds exactly like what the doctor ordered. I can't believe I didn't think of that during the storm. 4) I'm twitter-pated with the hopes that it storms again soon after the good point you made in your #3. :)

@Troop: Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner! You're not the only one, though. Truthfully, there are 4 people AND a major Illinois utility (ComEdison) assigned to that ringtone. You're in good company, though. Dear Loard, thank you for keeping me safe. ALL MEN!

Stacey said...

You don't have to wait for a power outage to get acquainted with the shower head. Just turn off the lights! Hellllooooo! Not that I would know anything about that. Because contrary to popular (well, not popular, just a certain someone's) opinion, I do NOT have a "chronic" problem. All men.

House of Jules said...

@Stace: I neglected to mention that #4 of my response to Linds was a joke. I have too much of an investigative personality to wait for the next power outage, though I will say that the following morning there actually was another one. Conveniently. As for the "chronic" conversation, I am still laughing out loud. I love men, especially bold ones that have their own investigative personalities. Amen. I mean, All Men.

xxxx said...

Unrelated, but ... no, it is NOT disrepectful to hope that Michael Phelps strips on the podium. I think he would be doing a great service to our country by boosting morale (and, uh, heartrates), what with the crappy economy and all. When he was jumping up and down after that relay, I could swear the thing was going to fall off. and I was like, YES PLEASE! Man, I love swimmers.

Spammon said...

I've been absent from blogs the last week or so. And as you can see, I'm late to the party.

I was really bummed you didn't try Bloody Mary in the mirror. I always swore I saw red eyes.

If you are going to take Lindsey's advice, I strongly suggest not getting the Commando 450.

Amy said...

Now, I know, the whole point of that was to comment on how scary the experience was and whatnot...but it really did make me wish I had to do that occasionally. Yup, I think there's something wrong with me.

Great blog btw! :D