Note: Neither feathers nor personal reputations were harmed during this hijinks-filled night out with friends, whose names have been changed!
A lot has been written on a man's sense of humor being the most attractive thing to women, and I'm the first one to nod my head in agreement. If a guy is the right kind of funny, he will have my full attention. In the past few years I've read about how supposedly men aren't into funny women which turns out to be a non-issue because apparently there aren't funny women, only reproducing machines that bring babies into the world. I don't believe any of that idiocy comes from the thoughts & minds of REAL MEN, but is misinformation spread around by The Man*--whose main job is to keep us down--and not in a good way.
One of my oldest** and funniest friends, Linda (not her real name), drove from a few states away for an overnight visit that was planned in advance to coincide with a live performance of one of our newest*** friends, Dundee's (not his real name) band. I emailed him the day before the show to remind him that the song that truly makes me woozy isn't even on any of his CDs--yet!--and he can make it up to me by performing it at least once, or (and I quote), "for just long enough, if you know what I'm saying".
I can express myself like that freely because most of my social circle consists of people who not only get my humor, but also give it right back. They make it possible to engage in the clever repartee that I live and breathe for (I really, really do), which makes me giddy. I'm thrilled to have so many friends with the ability to take something said in jest and run with it because it keeps me laughing. Dunn fits right in by demonstrating a good mix of his own biting wit, thinly-veiled euphamisms, and tongue always planted firmly in cheek.
Since I'm a giver, here is an excerpt from the text message conversation between Dundee & I (none of which should be taken seriously, as we're both shameless flirts with those we adore) on the day of his Chicago show:
Dunn (not his real name): Happy to hear you'll be at the show tonight, Sugar!
Me: If the message sent from this number to me was from 'Chocolate Thunder', I have bad news. I won't be in my usual seat at The Sugarshack for your performance because I'm seeing a different kind stage show tonight. Sorry.
Dunn: You know I love yo' sass.
Me: Oh, how embarrassing! I thought you were CT, who is someone else I know with OTHER talents. If you love my sass, you better prepare yourself for Linda because she's on her way here! Text her your appreciation in advance at ###-###-####.
Dunn: Linda will be at the show, too? I'll have my hands full with the two of you, for sure. BTW, I do have talent. At least 1/2 the skills of Choc Thunder. Let me demonstrate.
Me: I guess that means I better bring dollar bills to your show tonight, though if you only have 1/2 the skills, I can bring my smaller wallet.
Dunn: HA! Where are you right now? I mean exactly, with the zip code & everything. I'm pretty good at stalking, some say.
Me: You gather information for the people you'd like to stalk by ASKING THEM FOR IT? How refreshing. Although you can't really be considered good at something if someone is supplying you with the answers. You're not living up to your potential.
Dunn: Point taken. Does the fact that I'm bringing some great wine put me back in your good graces? If you stalk ME after the show, I'll even share.
Me: Oh, we'll definitely be stalking! It'll be good to have a night off from Chocolate Thunder. He never shares his wine, so you have THAT going for you.
Dunn: Which is nice. BTW, does Linda love me more than you do?
Me: That's a trick question.
Dunn: Absolutely not, it's very fair.
Me: I think you should text her yourself. Go right to the source.
Dunn: So, it's cool that I've been copying her on our messages already?
Me: HA! I call bullshit, but well played. You should actually be thanking me because she's where it's at, baby.
Dunn: Okay, Yenta.
Me: Me? Yenta? Never! Why you gotta treat me so bad?
Dunn: I'll only treat you with loving tenderness, my dear.
Me: That response was very Big Bad Wolf of you.
Dunn: No Big Bad Wolf here, I'm as gentle as a lamb.
Me: Oooh, I hope not!
Dunn: I lie for sh*t, don't I?
Me: You're terrible at it. It's shameful, really. Good thing I know you're great with your hands. When playing your guitar, I mean...
As expected, they put on an excellent show, which included a dedication to his *wink* "special friends" *wink* of my previously mentioned favorite song. Linda was fanning me midway through because I was, well, reacting to it. As the last note was thumped out on the bass, I heard myself yelling over the crowd's applause, "Do it again!". It was quite a moment. The band took a short break and he came to our table so we could make our post-show plan.
Twenty minutes after the show ended:
Dunn: Equipment all packed up. After-show plan in full effect?
Me&Linda: Bring wine, and hurry up or you'll miss the pillow fight****!
Dunn: I'll be right over, and you girls had better not be kidding.
*Jerry Lewis
**23 years & counting
***Less than that
****If you ever want a man to hurry up, use that line. Works every time, no joke.
13 comments:
No mention of the post pillow fight activities? Hmmmmmm.......!!!!
Oh! Your post reminds me of how much I miss the friends I grew up with, who were also exceedingly good at the witty banter/clever repartee/thinly veiled euphemisms. Oh how I miss that. It takes a special person to be able to "get" it, and an even more special person to be able to give it back. I have high regard for those who can keep up.
Looks like we'd get along famously ;)
BTW Is that Keith Dunn? I checked out his MySpace page, and I can't blame you for the (harmless) flirting. He's effin amazing....
@Troop: Ha ha! Like I said at the beginning, no feathers OR personal reputations were harmed that night! ;)
@astrogirl: It's not Keith Dunn, and I would tell you if it was! It wasn't until I got your comment that I even KNEW there was a musician named Keith Dunn. Seriously funny. I need to do Google searches before assigning aliases to my friends. I was using "Dunn" as a shorthand for "Dundee" which is the actual nickname for my musician friend from that night. Course, now that I wrote that I should probably do a google search just to see who comes up!
I have to say that was very entertaining, but what I liked the most about it was the stalking part. It runs in the family. :)
No funny women. Pah. LOL Your posts crack me up and there's nothing like a funny man to win me over.
Yeah. Crocodile Dundee is a great movie. I'm gonna have to use that pillow fight line soon.
So what is your address? Thaaanks.
Your weekend sounds much more exciting than mine was.
@MistaSista: Well, you're your own brand of stalker. I'm not THAT dedicated. Besides, it's different if you're invited to stalk first, though you ended up marrying the guy so what the hell do I know?
@Kat: FUNNY MEN=YAY!
@Stacey: Who said anything about the MOVIE Crocodile Dundee? I know I didn't say anything about it... but it's like you're psychic. Or that you were there. Or something.
@CherryRide: You stalkin' me?
@SaunteringSoul: I've never helped a woman zip up her pants like you have, so I think you have a ton of excitement going on there in ATL!
While it may be true that some men don't like women with a sense of humor, it's also true that men don't like women who dangle 'pillow fights' in front of them like a rare steak with a side of potatoes.
@Spammon: I just want some clarification on which lady parts you're referring to when you say "steak" and "side of potatoes". I probably should have added what Dunn's complete response was besides the "you better not be kidding" thing, because he really did know we were kidding and said something even funnier after that; but my parents occasionally read this blog and even I have boundaries on what I'll share with everyone!
Well I wasn't referring to a body part. I was trying to equate it to something we men can't live without. Meat and potatoes would be one of them. But if think what you were thinking, I do prefer my cut the 'ribeye'.
@Spammon: BAH HAHAHAAHHAHA! I bow to the master.
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