Public Service Announcement: After today, every time someone tags me, a butterfly loses it's ability to, uh... fly.

I've gotten tagged twice in the past week, and not in the good way (sorry, I couldn't resist). While I'm flattered when this happens (because it means they're interested in my answers, right?), my first instinct is to yell, "NO! NO! NO!" because I wonder if it's interesting reading for the majority of you. Having an actual conversation about these topics, I think, would be fun, but reading them? I don't know. Is it good for you? If you're not into it and would prefer I stick to my usual non-tagged posts, please let me know in the comments if for nothing else than I can hold it up as an example the next time someone tags me. In effect, I'll have YOU to blame. Thanks.

My mind is a steel trap, so I have not forgotten that I still owe a couple of people responses on previous tags. I will get to those, eventually, unless someone insists in the comments that I stop this sort of thing immediately if not sooner.

Without further ado...

I was tagged by the fabulous Kris (Chasing Fireflies) to write about my favorite quote, though the person who tagged her commented on HER post that it was supposed to be a favorite book tag. I actually have more quote books (yes, books full of quotes) than I care to admit; and I also have too many favorite books to hold only one in my highest regard, so I'll do my own version of this tag and give you one of my favorite passages from one of my favorite books, okay? OK. Warning in advance, the language is SALTY, so if you have virgin eyes, skip this next part.

Me Talk Pretty One Day by David Sedaris
This is from the chapter called "You Can't Kill The Rooster", featuring his street-wise younger brother Paul's hilarious antics and filthy mouth.

When a hurricane damaged my father's house, my brother rushed over with a gas grill, three coolers full of beer, and an enormous F**k-It Bucket— a plastic pail filled with jawbreakers and bite-sized candy bars. "When sh*t brings you down, just say 'f**k it,' and eat yourself some motherf**king candy."

If you haven't read this book, you should get your ass to Amazon, pronto. You can thank me later, with some candy.

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I was also tagged by the lovely Christy (Heavy on the Caffeine) to answer questions all having to do with the number 5. What made me laugh about this tag is that there are 8 questions. Does anyone else see the humor in that?

1) What were you doing 5 years ago?

Hmmm... 2003 was a big year for weddings and traveling; and traveling to get to weddings. I was also going to bachelorette parties, Karaoke-ing for the first time (at least the first time I did it ON PURPOSE), driving my friend Em's Mini Cooper around California in a road rally with other college friends, being surrounded by those same tuxedo-clad friends in one big group hug at a wedding, riding the huge ferris wheel (or as I like to call it: The Wheel of Death™) on the Santa Monica Pier, drinking Pacifico beer with my friends on Pacific Beach at Lahaina's (the best deck-in-the-sand bar in San Diego). There was also getting flown in by one of my favorite people in the galaxy, Mel, to be at one of my other favorite people in the galaxy's 30th luau, getting blown away by the surprise party my sister & Bro-in-Law threw for me. Then I spent time in NYC going to concerts like David Bowie and The Red Hot Chili Peppers and also enjoying post-show rooftop picnics; vacationing with the other members of The Fab Five at the Hard Rock Hotel in Florida, and finally ringing in the new year with some my college friends.

There may have also been some fuzzy cranium rubbing (aww yeah) and miscellaneous tongues involved in separate incidences, but you know, those are things that still (thankfully) happen for me. No, I don't have photographic evidence of EVERYTHING.

Here are 19 photos from 2003. If you let the little hand icon linger over each thumbnail before clicking on it, you'll see the caption, in case you aren't clear what is going on in the photo. Then click to see it all big-like. ("all big-like"? See? This is what tagging does to me. I start talking like David Sedaris' brother.)




2) What are/were 5 things on your to-do list today?

-Wake up (some people don't bother to put that on their TTD lists, but I say any job I can cross out as soon as my eyes flutter open is a job well done)

-Laundry/cleaning up the literal HOJ

-Mailing the winners of my HOJ Humpday contest their prizes. It's only been 2 months.

-Return some calls and e-mails that I haven't been able to get around to.

-Track down & scan some photos I have for my friend Nic's husband Tim

I got all of that done, as well as something that wasn't on my list: pulling 1/2 way into my parking spot at 9 a.m. and then pulling right the hell back out of it; then driving around in the beautiful weather for 45 minutes (gas prices be damned). This was just to avoid my neighbor who walks his cat--sometimes on a leash-- usually right outside of my door. I'm sad to say that I've done that more than once. He's a nice guy, but sometimes it's just too early in the day for me to deal with cats. Actually, there's never a good time of day for me to deal with cats.

3) What are 5 of your bad habits?

-Procrastination, though sometimes I use the excuse that I'm at my best under pressure. See also, Time Management Skills.

-I've been known to over-think certain situations/topics. Is that really a bad habit, though? (Oops, I'm over-thinking again).

-My nails go to hell when I'm under pressure. See also, Procrastination.

-I seem to be incapable of keeping my bedroom closet organized.

-Not getting as much sleep as I need to function at 100%.

4) What are 5 places you've lived?

-Chicago
-Texas
-Tennessee
-Wisconsin
-New York

5) What are 5 jobs you've had?

-High school job: Cashier/stocker at Hallmark
-College (school year job): K-mart electronics department (I was the only girl in the department, at the time it was a major coup)
-College (summer job): Chicago Bears training camp
-Real world job: Photographer
-Real world job: Graphic designer

6) What 5 snacks do you enjoy?

-tortilla chips
-salsa
-strawberries
-margaritas
-strawberry margaritas

Can you tell I didn't satisfy my mexican craving this weekend?

7) What 5 things would you do if you were a billionaire?

If I'm a billionaire I'm definitely going to be doing more than 5 things, but these are the top 5 on my list:

-Hire Suze Orman as my personal financial advisor

-Set up trusts for my family & friends

-Start a non-profit foundation for medical patient advocacy. Seeing all the red tape my friend Nic has dealt with in the past 2 years since she was diagnosed with cancer is so ridiculous & infuriating that there isn't even a word to describe it.

-Real estate! I'd buy my ideal arts & crafts-style Chicago Bungalow (or as my nephews & I call it: The Funkalow), a brownstone in NYC, a house in San Francisco, a pied-á-terre in Paris, and a place to lay my head in Italy (preferably in some hot Italian man's lap, but I'd take a villa on the Amalfi coast). Then I'd get everyone I love to come along with me. On my jet. Which has hot international playboy flight attendants. Who don't file sexual harassment claims.

-Finance the making of "St. Elmo's Goonies Candles Club"; the continuation of four of my favorite 80's movies, St. Elmo's Fire, Goonies, 16 Candles and The Breakfast Club. It will be epic.

That last one is not only to make one of my dreams come true, but also proves to the haters that even if I'm rich as hell, I'm the same girl I always was.

8) What 5 people do you want to tag?

I won't tag you, but if you want to tag yourself, go right ahead!