Deviled eggs anyone?

Tomatoes for roasting? $4. Getting hounded into coming home with 36 eggs when 18 is more than enough? Priceless.

I typically have very little in my refrigerator because things tend to spoil faster than I can get to them, and I usually just buy what I'm actually going to use over the course of a week. This totally freaks my mom out whenever she comes up for a visit. She doesn't understand what life is on the daily without having to spend 25 minutes trying to cram that 7th package of cream cheese in somewhere. Maybe if I stack the milk on top of that casserole, or if I can shove the 5 pound block of cheddar in the freezer... Yeah, that's not how it is at my place.

Something I make a lot of is oven-roasted tomatoes, because they're easy and delicious with practically everything, especially my favorite panino sandwich. I hit the grocery store over the weekend and found hothouse tomatoes on sale: $1/pound. I got about 4 pounds because at that price, you can roast up a ton and then freeze what you won't use in the short term. Another thing on my list was a carton of eggs. Instead of a dozen, I got a carton of 18 because I needed several for a recipe I was making for a friend's party.

So, I was going through the checkout line when the older woman behind me asks, "Whatcha gonna make with all those tomatoes?", to which I recounted the simple roasting recipe. She gave me an approving little nod just about the time the checker ran the eggs through the scanner and told me that the cartons of 18 eggs were buy one, get one free; and did I want to go ahead and get the 2nd (free) carton. I didn't realize they were on sale, but regardless I have no need for 36 eggs. Even if I decided to make multiple cakes for friends and neighbors, that is just too many to have on hand. I could see myself late one night, thinking of the extra eggs going to waste, and would probably end up boiling them all and eating way too many deviled eggs over a very short time span and then never wanting to see another deviled egg as long as I lived; which brought me to the conclusion that if I ever felt that way about deviled eggs there would be no point to go on living.

I politely declined the checker's offer to get the additional 18 eggs and immediately felt the weight of disapproval coming from the tomato lady behind me. Then I heard someone further back in the line yell, "Girl, you better get those eggs! They're FREE! What's the matter with you? You're spending all that money on tomatoes and then go and turn down FREE eggs? Girl, you're a foodist." 

I think she meant that in a bad way.


House of Jules Roasted Tomatoes:
4 tomatoes, sliced 1/4" thick
1/2 teaspoon sea or kosher salt
1/4 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper
1/2 cup balsamic vinegar

Preheat oven to 275 degrees F. Line a baking tray with foil and very lightly coat with olive oil before placing sliced tomatoes down. Keep in mind that overlapped tomatoes will take longer to roast, so spread them out as much as you can. Season with salt and pepper, then drizzle or spoon 1/2 of the balsamic vinegar over tomatoes. It won't seem like enough, but you want the tomatoes to roast, so don't use more vinegar than the recipe calls for. Bake for 30 minutes, then drizzle the remaining vinegar over tomatoes, cooking for an additional 30-45 minutes, checking on them several times along the way. Transfer to a bowl and keep covered in the refrigerator for up to 3 days. These are great on salads, in omelets, by themselves and especially on my favorite panini (see below), though to be honest you could probably put them on an old leather shoe and it would taste great (I have not actually tried that, though). This recipe, which makes approximately 2 cups of roasted tomatoes, can be doubled (tripled even!) and you can freeze what you won't use in the short term.

Cafe Ino's Americano Panini:

Makes 4.
2 boneless, skinless chicken breasts
2 teaspoons extra virgin olive oil
salt
freshly ground black pepper
4 ciabatta rolls
16 slices oven-roasted tomatoes
1 cup baby arugula leaves, roughly chopped into 1/2" strips
1/2 lemon
4 oz. asiago cheese, (usually found at the specialty cheese counter) thinly sliced with a vegetable peeler (that's my little trick!)

Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Wash and pat dry (that step is really important!) chicken breasts. Place on a foil-lined baking tray. Rub each with a teaspoon of olive oil and season with salt & pepper. Bake for 15-18 minutes until opaque and firm to the touch. Slicing across the breast, cut chicken into 1/8" slices. Preheat panini grill (if you don't have a panini grill, you can use whatever pan you make grilled cheeses in, with an additional plate or pan weighed down with a couple of heavy cans for the top part of your home-rigged 'press'). Slice off the rounded part of the tops of the ciabatta rolls. Rolls should now be about 1" thick. Split horizontally. Cover the bottom halves of the rolls with an even layer of sliced chicken. Follow with a layer of oven-roasted tomatoes. Season with salt & pepper before adding the chopped arugula. Give each a squeeze of lemon juice and top with a layer of thin asiago slices. Cover with the top of the ciabatta roll and place, two at a time, in the preheated grill with the lid on top. They are done when you can smell the cheese, about 3 minutes.

I do not recommend putting deviled eggs on this sandwich.

Not even Dirty Sexy Money could beat my Dirty Sexy Honey

Ain't Lookin' for nothing but a good time...and it don't get better than this, Part 2

This is going to be truly distasteful & offensive. I can't wait.

I hope you have your dollar bills ready to make it rain because in less than one hour VH1 is kicking off Rock of Love Season 2! This time around it looks like Bret's wig got upgraded and the ho-bag factor is going to be off the charts. It's so trashy, and all of my friends are going to be watching it right along with me. I love that.

If you missed my post on Rock of Love's first season, you have definitely missed out on some major scoopage; so please click here to read it. Last season, a group of us made a friendly little wager after the first episode to see if anyone could pick the one Bret would end up with, and I won a hefty stack of singles (which I plan to throw at my TV later tonight) because I pegged Jess in the first 20 minutes. Sure, they didn't stay together but c'mon, who really thought that Bret was going to find love on VH1? I don't think even Bret believes it, but it might make for some good song writing. Let's see, what rhymes with "I fell in love with a hooker"?

I spent too much money after that finale buying old Poison songs on iTunes because I only had their music on vinyl. I went so crazy that I even bought their cover of Justin Timberlake's Sexyback. Right after that my friends staged an intervention. By the way, in all-matters-glam-rock, my opinion cannot be trusted because I have a love-hate relationship with the genre. I mean, I definitely love their take on Sexyback, but I also hate that I love it. It's complicated. I do have quite a history with Poison, though, so I tend to give them a pass on any harsh remarks.

Not to threaten you with a good time, but you can listen to Bret & company's version of Sexyback for yourself and make up your own mind by clicking here. I highly recommend giving it a listen. Even if you hate it, you're going to love it.

Sorry to cut this short, but I have to get my hair all teased up and my clear platform heels on before the show starts. I'm bringing Sexyback, too, you know.

I wanted to be sure you're feeling right, wanted to be sure we want the same thing.

Joe Mothertrucking Jackson is coming to town (and he's probably coming to yours, too)! I'm so there that I'm not even here.




Simplified, beautiful, classic: "It's different for girls"


His new album, Rain, drops on 1/29.

Butterfly hover over my mother, tell her that I... oh forget it Butterfly, I'll tell her myself!

"Hey Jerkfaces, it's my birthday!" (My mom would never actually say that because she's a lady.)

Was this before or after Uncle Chuck flushed your half of the last stick of gum down the toilet so he wouldn't have to share?

See that grace? Those beautiful lines? I inherited none of that.

When I was in 2nd grade we constructed these cards for Mother's Day based on a sample that our teacher brought in, and we all had to make a version of the same card, which featured a butterfly and a flower. Because I have never been one to go along with the crowd, it infuriated me that my mom would have to get the exact artwork that another mom was going to get. BECAUSE MY MOM IS BETTER THAN YOUR MOM AND YOU'LL NEVER CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE, SORRY.

1992. Dad is most likely telling you how gorgeous you are, because that's what you are, and that's what he does!

The worst part was the little poem that we had to copy from the chalkboard onto the card. It was so awful that to this day I still remember it: "Butterfly hover over my mother, tell her that I dearly love her." I know, it's gag-inducing. So, I started on the dumb card, while gnashing my teeth and doing a lot of loud sighing and generally making it known that I was not happy. I did my best though, because we were going to be graded on how well we matched the sample. (Do you realize how unbelievable my 2nd grade teacher was? Who GRADES a 7-year-old on how accurately they copy something made by the only adult in the room?)

1977-ish.

I was always the class jokester but also had/have the additional joy of being an over-thinker (though I prefer the term "deep", as in, "You are SO deep and introspective!" and not so much as in, "You are deeply disturbed and clearly have too much time on your hands"), even back then.

1981. The Alamo. Remember? (Get it?)

So, while everyone else was having a good time coloring and cutting up construction paper, making the same card like they were little robots, my brain was looping these thoughts over and over: Butterflies can't even talk! If I'm leaving it up to a non-talking butterfly to TELL my mom that she's loved, it does not reflect well on me as a daughter. Whose idea was this? Where is that red marker? If the poem mentioned a talking parrot, that would make so much more sense. Or a woodpecker. At least they can tap out a message with their beaks. Does mom know morse code? Just about anything would be better than a non-verbal butterfly. Where is that yellow marker? Whose idea was this?

1983. h Xavier Roberts (with his arm around me!) Mom, and Missy with the cool rainbow shirt), Xavier is the inventor of Cabbage Patch Kids. Back then they were called "Little People" and you could only "adopt" them at a place in TN called Babyland General, which was made to look like an entire birthing unit. The little nurse in his hand is mine. Her name was Adele Phyllis (I didn't pick the name, just the doll!) and one of her little ass cheeks got signed that day by Mr. Roberts himself. Just look at him, he's as cute Adele!

When I gave my mom the card and told her how annoyed I was by the idea of an insect passing along MY affection for her, and that all the moms would be reading the same meaningless poem and would have the same kind of flower on their cards; she took in what I was saying and then genuinely told me how much she loved everything about the card, even that poem. Suddenly I didn't really care that there were 25 other moms getting the same card. My mom, THE BEST MOM, loved it!

1989. The Hallmark Maven, aka Boss Lady. She will crack the whip, and not in a good way.

1989. The Maven's assistant working hard at the after school job. I just finished putting together that entire display with the one token dude we had working there. Lucky for me he was hot and a gentleman at that, so he did all the heavy lifting; because honey, trust me when I tell you that I spent too much time on my hair that day to work up a sweat installing ornaments in freaking July.

I knew it wasn't because she believed that there would soon be a butterfly with a voice box and a heartfelt message to share while flapping it's pretty little wings, but it was because I made it especially for her, and did my best.

1991. Dad, Lowell Davis, his rooster & Mom

That is just one of the eleventy-thousand reasons why I love my mom, THE BEST MOM, whose birthday is today.

Fanilows! This was the night we saw Barry Manilow for free. Also known as the night I told JJ that Barry was, ahem, playing for the other team. While I was destroying all of her fantasies, I went ahead and broke the news about Santa Claus not being real. Then we had lots of drinks at Buck Bradley's, the finest (and longest) bar east of the Mississippi!

I'm not balancing a boot on my head, though it looks like I am! On your & Missy's 1997 trip to visit me in New York. "Hey Mom! You said you'd buy me some shoes for my birthday! These are the ones I really want!"

"Those? But they're so ugly! I'm going to need something besides this Balthazar lemonade to drink if you expect me to fork over that much cash for shoes that are so offensive to my eyesight."

Three tequila shots later... (just kidding!) Look at those new shoes! Thanks for buying those even though they were a lot of money and you thought they were truly and horribly disgusting. They actually lasted for years and I wore them all over NYC like I owned the joint!

1997. All that ugly-shoe shopping is stressful! Mom getting a snack (most likely rugelach) at the famous Russ and Daughters Deli in NYC.

Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you!

Missy, Mom, & Me at one of the million shows we've seen here in Chicago and (mostly) in NYC. We're total show whores (though my mom would never put it that way, because, like I said, she's a lady!).


No butterflies were harmed in the writing of this post.

Putting the 'Hump' in Humpday: Everyone already knows how good we look together

Once a month, I am going to start writing a special Wednesday post in honor of my favorite men, and these will all fall under the label of Putting the 'Hump' in Humpday. Get it? Wednesday equals Humpday and my favorite men equal... well, I'm just gonna trust that you don't need it spelled out for you, because you're smart and you totally get me, otherwise you wouldn't feel so compelled to keep insisting that all of your friends bookmark and/or subscribe to my blog (you ARE insisting, aren't you?). 

This first Humpday post goes to--say it with me, now!--my hometown man and fellow Cubs fan (we have SO much in common!) Jeremy Piven, which I'm sure will come as a total shock to anyone who either knows me personally or who has read this blog for longer than 10 minutes. 

Years before he was winning awards for his role as Ari Gold the super agent on HBO's Entourage, I was busy seeing every movie he was in. While everyone else was swooning over John Cusack, I was dreaming about his real life best friend. People have asked me what drew (and what still draws) me to him and here's the answer... this is the 3 minute scene that made me fall for Pivs all those years ago (double-click on either 'play' arrow if you have trouble):

{start at :35} "Your only mistake is that you didn't dump her first. Diane Cort is a show pony and you need a stallion, my friend. Walk with us and you walk tall."

Maybe you aren't impressed, but back when I was 15, his fast-talking witticisms just did it for me. Don't get me wrong, this particular scene features Cusack perfectly executing one of the best monologues out of all the 80's classics ("The girl made me trust myself, man. I was walking around and I was feelin' satisfied, can you imagine that?"); but it was Jeremy who had me mesmerized, and I was soft like putty in his hands in those 3 short minutes. He had me, you know, walking around feelin' satisfied.

February's Humpday post will feature: A modern-day renaissance man, and a House of Jules first: AUTOGRAPHED PRIZES!

"It's time to DO WORK, son!"

If you're a diehard Rob & Big fan like I am, this is an exciting night because Season 3 starts at 10:30 ET/9:30 CST. The skateboard mogul and his sidekick, ("He's 6'5" and 400 pounds of straight meat & cheese") are back!

I am excited for another season of laughs with Meatbag (Meaty) the bulldog, Mini-Horse (Mini) the uh, mini-horse, Drama (Rob's cousin/assistant), Big's weird Uncle Jerry and especially Rob's alter ego (the white r&b singer) Bobby Light... for one reason in particular: "because he'll do me right."

Now I have to go and get some stuff done, Do work! as Big would say, before I can settle in for some time with the world's most hilarious odd couple. Don't worry if you miss tonight's episode from the new season. It's an MTV show, so you know they'll re-broadcast it a million times. They have to fill all kinds of air time since they never play music videos anymore.

Here's a look back at how it all began, 2 full seasons ago:

• MTV
• Music Videos
• MTV Shows
• Entertainment News

Episode 1, part 1


Here's the new season 3 trailer:

"Did you ever hear of... turtle racing?"

Weekend Girl Talk, Part 3: Besides discussing Kepler's Laws of Planetary Motion, there was this

Just a short progress report before getting to the good stuff: I only felt mildly hung over on Saturday morning, but that's probably because I didn't bother to follow my own rule of downing a glass of water before bed. Why? Because I wasn't thirsty, naturally. Anyway, here are a few of the gems that I'm at liberty to share with you. Everything else was either off the record (self-imposed and otherwise) or off the charts (hard to believe, I know).

---

Because it's important to make a difference in the world:

"I almost cougared a 20-something law student last weekend."

"Cougared?! Making that an action word instead of merely an adjective could be one of the best things you've ever come up with."

"I'm determined to make that word a verb... you know, let it stand as my legacy."

---

Sometimes even old friends need to define things for each other:

"B. made me do a couple of Jägerbombs with him, which is what's to blame for all of that inappropriate touching that went on while we were still at the bar."

"Sorry, I don't think I heard you correctly. What kind of touching?"

"Inappropriate. Because we were in public; at the bar."

"Again I ask you, what is this inappropriate of which you speak?"

---

After being underwhelmed with the taste of our first drinks of the evening, which were called "Sex Before Sunrise":

"I'm less than impressed with this Sex Before Sunrise. It looks good, but leaves something to be desired in the taste department."

"I totally agree. I bet it has something to do with the fact that neither of us are morning people."

"Yes! I bet if they called them "Sex After Sundown" we would have liked them a WHOLE lot more."

"Mmm hmmm... Oh yeah, you got that right."

"Are we still talking about these drinks?"

---

After seeing the Dayton, Ohio-based Eric Jerardi Band (which should be renamed "Eric Jerardi-the-blues-guitar-god-with-a-gravely-voice-featuring-the-bassist-with-smooth-moves-in-a-backwards-hat-Band) at The House of Blues:

"I had no idea Dayton, Ohio was capable of so much hot, sexified funk."

"Dayton's actually a really progressive city. We'll have to go when you come to visit, it's only a couple of hours from my place."

"Definitely! In the meantime, I'm gonna have to bone up on the Ohio music scene!"

"You said 'bone'!"

Skip ahead to 2:30 (or -6:00, depending on which way the little clock is running) to see The Eric Jerardi Band do some serious justice to Tom Wait's "Make it Rain"; and turn it up!

Want more Weekend Girl Talk? Here's PART 1 and PART 2.

We've been apologizing in advance since the mid-80's

Tonight this old friend is coming to visit for a couple of days, and the fact is that we're going to spend most of that time loudly laughing our asses off, trading bad date stories, exchanging lots of witty banter, and turning most everything the other one says into some kind of naughty innuendo. 

This will most definitely go on and on, into the early hours of morning. The good news is that there will probably be lots of delightful snippets of conversation to share after all is said & done, however, we do apologize in advance for the volume.

Happy 2008 from The Pivens

Happy New Year from Jeremy & I. We hope 2008 is unbelievably great for each and every one of you!


Me, my man, our city; New Year's Eve