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Monday, October 1, 2007

Ain't lookin' for nothing but a good time...and it don't get better than this*

Sunday night was the finale of VH1's dating show, Rock of Love, starring Bret Michaels of Poison.

It is without shame that I tell you I watched every single episode of this show, and took it for what it was: Nothin' but a good time. Because I actually own Poison records (as in VINYL-- the fact that I'm sharing this with the world further proves I'm shameless) from back in the day, I felt like I would be able to pick out who would either win Bret's heart, or give him the best lap dance, depending on what he was looking for at the end of this series. My friends & I actually had bets going.

For the final 2, he ended up with Jes, the down to earth Midwestern girl with cool hair to match her personality, and Heather, an exotic dancer with stripper-riffic hair. I'm telling you, her hairstyles were so GLORIOUS that I often found myself tossing dollar bills at my TV. Hairspray has never had a better commercial than Heather's 'do on this show.

Thanks to Rich at VH1's Celebrity Blog for these beautiful screen caps of Heather's hair by week.

This might have been her hairstyle for the final elimination, but I'm sure it's not the last we'll see of that over-dyed, dried up, backcombed, damaged hot mess. Or her hair. Bah-dum-bump!

Back when the season first started--before anyone knew who would end up as the final two--I had my money down on Chicago's very own Jes as the winner. I was fairly certain that she was the only girl there who wouldn't kill him in his sleep, but the main reason I told everyone I knew that he'd pick her was because she bears a striking resemblance to Poison's kooky guitar player, C.C. Deville. I can't believe that none of the other entertainment blogs I read have picked up on this yet, but here are 2 examples I put together in Photoshop that prove my point:

A side-by-side comparison. I put CC on a similar background that Jes is on for her 'official' Rock of Love headshot. It's uncanny, right?

Cover art for Poison's debut album, Look What the Cat Dragged In

Can you spot the difference?

By far, the most entertaining girl on the show was perpetually skunk-drunk Tiffany, from the south side of Chicago. South-syyyyyde represent! She was only on for a couple of episodes, but her favorite slurred phrase is stuck in my vernacular forever: "Don't threaten ME with a good time".

Tiffany in her best light. By the way, if you get so drunk that captioning is used so that the viewing audience understands that you're trying to say "Fo' Sho", maybe you've had enough to drink.

Sunday is the reunion episode, which we plan to watch all together. Reality TV reunion episodes are the best because for some of the cast it'll be their last chance at 15 minutes of fame, so they pull out all the stops. Also, since I picked Jes as the winner, I have some money to collect from those suckers my friends. Hey, don't threaten ME with a good time!


Melisa said...

The photoshopped album cover is PRICELESS. I sort of wish I had watched the show this season (there will be a second season, no doubt...). I must have been busy watching some of that crap on the History Channel (JK! Right, Jim?).

Jules said...

You say there will be a second season like you don't think Bret & Jes have a true, everlasting love. :)

You would have enjoyed the show, (in that gulity pleasure kind of way) but you wouldn't have wanted it on when the kids were around, or Jim, for that matter. He'd probably make you sit through 1,000 hours of the History Channel just to pay him back for one hour of R.o.L., and you know what I say to that? Don't threaten ME with a good time!

Melisa said...

That darn Jim, trying to learn me some History...

Yes, I get the impression from the commercials that it's definitely a DVR thing for this house.

Melek said...

glad i'm not the only one who watched every episode AND the reunion show. i'll admit my BF dragged me into it, but then i was hooked by the stupidity of some of the girls, the blantant backstabbing, and of course, heather's hair. did you notice how on the reunion show, it was all sleeked down and flat. no spray. much better looking. she must have watched her own footage and thought WTF was i thinking?! haha

Paul-ene said...

Ha....had to watch that show too. The reunion show was even stranger....with jess giving the big blow off to Brett M.

I immediately thought Jess looked like CC Deville too. Ha ha ha

Good ONE!