Putting the Hump in Humpday: "Friday wasn't my day, but Wednesday* was the best day..."

Note: I want you to know it pleased me to NO END that lyrics from one of my favorite 80's songs fit in perfectly with the "Wednesday is called humpday because it's in the middle of the week"; and "Putting the Hump in Humpday refers to someone/something that is totally humpable" theme, and I mean, it fit in SO perfectly that I suddenly had the overwhelming feeling that the entire reason I came up with the Humpday post idea all those months ago was just so that one day I'd be working on the post you're about to read and I'd think, "I was born to come up with the cleverness that is this very title". That's how good it is, and if you know what line comes after the lyrics in the title, you not only appreciate my multi-layered wit, but you could also win a prize*.

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1984 - 11 years old
The new girl in town, who moved from Ohio to Tennessee, has her first slumber party. I'm one of the 3 girls she invites and I am thrilled. We spend most of the night in a large spare room in their finished basement, dancing up a sweat in front of a mirrored wall to the new Wham! album. We're trying hard to copy the swingy little dance step that George Michael executes so perfectly in the video for Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. It's a very specific series of moves consisting of clapping, snapping and kicking with a sideways shuffle. The trick to getting it seems to be an avoidance of over-thinking. It should come as no surprise that I have a hard time getting it all synchronized. I mean, I know how to dance, but this is a new way of moving as yet undiscovered by the likes of my 7th-grade self. 

We're listening to the cassette, but because MTV played the video so much in the preceding months, by the time "Cuddle up baby, move in tight. We'll go dancing tomorrow night..." is blasting out of the speakers, we're each hugging ourselves and nailing his signature eyeroll while belting out, "it's cold out there but it's warm in bed; they can dance, we'll stay home instead!". The 4 of us followed that up with squealing and laughing and talking about how cool it would be to see Wham! perform live or to be a backup singer on tour or for George to ring the doorbell that very second and play Spin the Bottle with us. It would then be the polite thing for him to stick around long enough to teach us exactly how far into the clapping and snapping that the kicking should start. I know with his assistance I will master the dance.


See George hug himself and dreamily roll his eyes at 2:25. Trust me, it's worth it.

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1988 - 15 years, 11 months & 3 weeks old - The Faith Tour
One week before I turned 16, I overheard my mom & one of her friends, Terri, in mid-conversation. They were talking about how Terri committed to taking her daughter somewhere and was already dreading it. I wondered what would make Terri's usual upbeat attitude so gloomy. This is how our conversation went:

Terri: "My daughter talked me into taking her to some concert on Tuesday night."

Me: "What concert?"

Terri: "I don't know, some George guy. He's singing next to a jukebox in his new video."

Me: "George MICHAEL?"

Terri: "Yeah, that's him!"

Me: "I've wanted to see him live since I was 11. Your daughter is so lucky. YOU are so lucky. I. AM. SO. JEALOUS."

Terri: "My only hope is that he sounds as good as he looks in that leather jacket and tight jeans, but I highly doubt it."

Me: "..." {jaw on floor}

One week later, on my 16th birthday, Terri surprises me with a bouquet of flowers and a t-shirt she bought for me at the concert. I don't remember what kind of flowers she gave me but I remember the t-shirt because it had a screen-printed image of George wearing the leather jacket and tight jeans from the Faith video, and it was shot from behind.

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Saturday, October 19, 1991 - 18 years old - The Cover to Cover Tour
A friend of mine calls to offer me an extra ticket to the next night's Chicago show, but I am too busy in my dorm room making out with my boyfriend to answer the phone. She doesn't leave a message, and I don't get the extra ticket. I did, however, end up with a real nice hickey. My boyfriend pays dearly for both the hickey AND the missed phone call, but not monetarily.

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1998 - 25 years old
The 2-disc set, Ladies & Gentlemen: The Best of George Michael is released. I buy it immediately and tell my sister, "The next time he tours, WE ARE SO THERE."

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July 9, 2008 (TONIGHT!) - 34 years old - The 25 Live Tour
A few months back, my sister surprised me with tickets to tonight's show (thanks, Missy!) and WE ARE SO THERE. Apologies in advance** to the people sitting behind us, whoever you are, because we probably won't be sitting down much. I can't wait. I'll probably have one of those moments when my eyes get all watery because I'll be thinking, "DAMN, IT'S GOOD TO BE ALIVE!" and then I'll cheer so loud that my voice cracks.

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If you've read this blog long enough, you know that my taste in music runs the gamut, but there are certain artists whose entire music catalogs are embedded into my life; and George Michael is one of them. Say what you will about his seemingly shallow initial pop hits and his personal scandals, but the man is talented. Some people don't realize that he's more than the lyrics, "Guilty feet have got no rhythm". I couldn't say it any better than Steve Dollar did in the last paragraph of his "Top Live Show" column in this week's Time Out Chicago:

Gossip aside: Damn, he had some hits. And, Madonna excluded, there’s no better representative of the ’80s zeitgeist. The tabloid ink has overshadowed an artist who wrote, produced, arranged and played the bulk of his pop perfection. The current—and, according to Michael, last—arena tour is all about those classic Number 1s. No doubt, an older and wiser Michael will bring more than nostalgia to the footlights.

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By the way, I'm still the best of friends with the Ohio-girl-who-moved-to-Tennessee. Just the other day, I made a promise to her that even though she wouldn't be with me during his show, my clapping-snapping-kicking self will prove our 1988 marathon dance session in her basement was totally worth it.



*There's a contest that goes along with this month's Humpday post! If you figure out: 1) which song the post title refers to, and 2) what the next line in the song is; leave them in the comments. I will number all the correct answers and put the range into the random number generator. You will of course need to check back to see if you won or not. The winner will get something small I buy from the totally overpriced merchandise table at tonight's concert, unless there is nothing I can justify spending money on. If that's the case, I'll find something equally awesome from somewhere else to send you, and I promise to get the winner their prize within 2 weeks of being notified. It took me forever to get prizes mailed last time.

**Judging by #6 on this list, I may also owe an apology to 5of9er for what I can only preemptively assume is, in his opinion, a disappointing choice (correct me if I'm wrong!) for July's Hump of the Month. Sorry, 9er! To ease your pain, here are links to NPR podcasts celebrating the 20th anniversary of SUB POP Records: World Cafe (available now) and Sound Opinions #137 (available on Saturday). Yay for SUB POP!


Click HERE to read previous Humpday posts.