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Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Pouring honey from a jar, any car in front of me when I'm in a hurry, the current administration coming to an end

What do all of those things have in common with April's Hump of the Month post? The progression is much slower than anyone would like. It's too bad all of these things can't balance themselves out with the supersonic speed at which the past few days have kicked my ass unleashed the motherf**king moonwalk on me. My head is spinning, mostly because of my 11th hour tax adventure on Monday night, which I will not get into because I'm fresh out of vodka.

So, I'm putting Javier's Humpday off to avoid a hastily-written post that doesn't do him justice, because he deserves better than that. This way I can watch the other 2 Bardem movies that just arrived in my mailbox, which will allow for a more informed opinion on his hotness acting. It will also allow the shoulders that used to be at the base of my neck to (maybe, possibly, hopefully?) drop down from the top of my head.

Because it's not my style to leave you high & dry, here's a little somethin'-somethin' that can best explain why sometimes slow & easy is better:


Awww yeah. I'm talking to you, Bardem.

17 comments:

Melly said...

Try starting and finishing your taxes AND trying on TWO pairs of shorts that are entirely too small all in one day, my friend. You might understand why I've been sucking on a bottle (and my thumb) for the last 36 hours, as well!

I understand your pain, sister.

Next year... um, this year, I vow to keep up with my accounting and to do my taxes at least a day BEFORE they're due.

House of Jules said...

I figured as much from your post the other day! Minus your 2-pairs-of-shorts debacle (only because I was in too much of a panic to THINK of that!), I did manage to do all of it in one day, which was a terrible idea to begin with; especially because I didn't have my receipts added up. The best part was that even though I had my 1099's and stock dividends, I somehow lost my W2 form. That brought on the frantic tearing-apart of everything in sight, taking no prisoners. I managed to find it 2 hours later, which was exactly one milli-second before I had a total meltdown. Then after that, I started organizing my deductibles. It was a nightmare and I'm glad you can relate.

texAAsgirl said...

I did great this year! I also had to do the flight of the bumblebee to find some paperwork! Just don't talk to me and get out of my way.... I did it though! I filed my taxes at 8PM on 4/15 - a whole 4 hours before the "midnight" deadline! woohoo.... Normally, it's 11pm-ish and since I e-file I'm left wondering which time zone the IRS will use??!!!

Troop 542 said...

My anticipation level is at an all time peak, but I shall use that energy in other ways (wink, wink) until next week's HOTM post!!

House of Jules said...

@TexAAsGirl: The Flight of the Bumblebee is such a pleasant way to put that you were in a mad f'n panic. I'm going to start using that. I believe the IRS goes by Pacific time, FYI.

@Troop542: I have no idea what you mean by that whole "wink wink" thing. Hmmm.....

alex said...

American taxes sound compilicated. I do not envy you.

Suggestion about the too-small shorts thing: Gap has some really great skirts out this season that are ELASTIC WAISTED! Elastic always fits, and it's pretty. I just have to be careful my legs don't blind anyone with their extreme whiteness.

5 of 9er said...

Possibly my favorite title to a post this month!

melly said...

The damage my self-esteem suffered after the dumb last-minute tax stunt and tight shorts would likely deepen if my less-than-feminine self tried sporting a skirt. I appreciate the great advice, but think I'll remain hanging out in my undies for a while longer. :)

The [Cherry] Ride said...

Oh, the Hot gets ya right away!

Linds said...

So are you superstitious?

House of Jules said...

@Alex: They're typically not THAT complicated, but for me (and I'll speak for Melly here, too), I have a regular form for my "day job" and then other forms for my contract work (side design jobs). Taxes don't get taken out of contract work payments like a regular paycheck would, then at tax time I have to go through all of my receipts to add up all of my deductions. It's usually a pain in the ass, but this year the insanity was my own fault because I waited so long. It was dumb, taxes are due on the same day every year, so it's not like it snuck up on me. :)

@5of9er: So, what you're saying is that you're giving me the old 'high five'?!

@CherryRide: HAHAHAHAHA! It comes in waves!

@Linds: Maybe I have my baseball hat on too tight but I don't get the superstitious thing. Fill me in.

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

Awwww! You should have said something BEFORE taxes were done, I am even better than Turbo Tax at thinking up things to deduct on your scedule C. I depreciated a $29 answering machine without a trace of humiliation. Box of pens? Oh yeah! Airplane? Check! :)

NerdyRedneck Rob said...

By the way, I can already tell I am gonna like Melly.

Taj said...

My taxes were done in February. *Struts proudly* I should note that this was only because I had to file an extension last year. Quite frankly I'm lazy. But "The (tax) Man" ain't no joke and I did them this year faster than you can say humpjavierhump.

That being said...glad to see Rob is still a perv.

House of Jules said...

@Rob: Oh, trust me, I have a whole list of "deductibles" to work from; though your $29 answering machine (I didn't know people still HAD answering machines!) takes the cake. Of COURSE you like Melly! She mentioned being in her underwear. I've known her since college, so of course we've had our share of pillow fights.

@Taj: I can't tell you how happy I am to see you back in my comment "box" (that little gem was for Rob, our favorite pervert)! I learned my lesson to start my taxes earlier. You know, treat them like I'd treat Javier: Get on top of it as soon as possible (I dedicate that one to Rob, too).

Taj said...

It's good to be back inside your box Jules. ;)

House of Jules said...

@Taj: I'm not going to even touch that one.