I am really tired of getting bitch-slapped by Old Man Winter. At the beginning of November, the flakes were cute. I had a little flirtation going on with the cold weather. I wore some adorable sweaters and the winter hat I bought in Zermatt (the fact that hat rhymes with Zermatt usually makes me happy, even in freezing temperatures).
Now I'm over it. I know there is more snow accumulation elsewhere and I realize there are more pressing matters at hand in the universe, but seriously, these continuous snowstorms are bringing me DOWN.
For example, I've had the following song on repeat in my iTunes for the past 8 hours, which is pretty much what I've done every February since this song came out. I might need a Ryan Adams intervention... but good luck getting here. It will take days for you to scale the snowdrifts alone.
Double-click on either "play" arrow if you have trouble with the video
"Come Pick Me Up"
I wish you would:
Come pick me up.
Take me out.
F**k me up.
Steal my records.
Screw all my friends with a smile on your face, and then do it again.
I wish you would.
If you are NOT planning to put me through a Ryan Adams intervention, but are instead going to follow the lyrics in this song, intending to Come Pick Me Up and all that comes after that (except stealing my records and screwing my friends), I will gladly shovel a path to my door.
14 comments:
Right on, and Good Day Sir to Old Man Winter from this house, too!
Do you want me to come pick you up later? Or would you rather stay there on this particular evening? Maybe tomorrow? Let me know. LOL
That sounds dreadful. I want some snow. On second thought...nah...not so much anymore after reading this.
Being bitch-slapped by Old Man Winter....LMAO
Yeah, well, it was 70 fargin' degrees here yesterday, accompanied by a maelstrom for most of the morning. I'd like some winter please!
Snow is a lot like big boobs. If you ain't got it, you want it, and the gal that does have it would gladly give you hers.
I'd rather have my big boobs than all that damn snow!
And while your picking her up could you swing by and grab me, too? ;)
The only thing that brings me down is that we've had tons of snow and none of it has knocked the power out letting me go home from work.
Ryan Adams? No wonder you are down. It's BRYAN Adams. duh. You're listening to the WRONG PERSON!
Okay, this has nothing to do with this post but, have you seen this Jules?
http://www.nypost.com/seven/02072008/gossip/pagesix/sapphic_steam_441536.htn
Upon reading the next to last sentence I became very frightened for you. That would be what I call COMPETITION.
@SisMis: I was more thinking a certain DUDE would come pick me up, you know? I mean, thanks and everything...
@Kat: I really wish that I could ship some to you in Germany!
@Fruitcake Lady, part 1: I believe that "fargin'" might have been a little nod to Johnny Dangerously, which I salute you for. I WISH it was 70 degrees here! I have a surplus of boobs and snow, and only one of those things is working out for me.
@Jen: AMEN sista!
@Melissa: If you weren't already married to Mr. Electric Soul, we'd have to double date. Though, I'd suggest separate cars because the likelihood of us ending up somewhere like make-out point (otherwise known to me as The House of Blues) is up there. I have to keep warm somehow.
@Spammon: I know! Adults get screwed out of snow days all the time. WINTER CAN SUCK IT! As for Bryan Adams, I bet if I put on Everything I do, I do it for you, I'd perk right up! Either that or I'd gag for hours.
@Fruitcake Lady, part 2: I did read that earlier today, but that's not competition! Please. Those 2 are like amateur hour. It's all part of my genius plan because I'm the "stunt" double for both ScarJo and Salma. That hot movie scene will be me, Javier, and...oh, that's right: ME. ;)
@Melissa: and by "US", I meant me & my date. Just to clarify. hee hee!
Really? You went for Everything I Do? Not, Cuts Like A Knife? Or. Wait for it... Summer of 69? Come on!! Are you trying to behave because you have houseguests?
Love,
Big Boobs III (and a little snow)
@Stacey: DUDE! I went for the obvious SUCK-FEST that is Everything I Do (hence the "gag" at the end), because Cuts Like a Knife, Summer of 69, & RUN TO YOU are the good ones!
How could I have forgotten Run To You? I am a bad 80's fan. If you're still all tragically angsty, I'll bet I could think of someone's music that would make you happy. In your pants.
I'm no longer tragically angsty... but you-know-who STILL makes me happy in my pants. You're so right about that. Good GOD, are you ever right.
Hate winter. We are no longer on speaking terms.
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