Double-click on either 'play' arrow if you have trouble with the video.
I really do have the biggest balls of them all. Grandé gonads. I'm talking, HUGE. Figuratively speaking, of course.
My sister & I had seats in the nosebleed section for George Michael's show at the United Center. Normally, nosebleed seats are okay with me because I think ANY seat is a good seat at a live show. Sure, sometimes I'll get carried away and go for the best available, but only when I feel like it would otherwise be a missed opportunity. Like the time we were at an on-site Ticketmaster location picking numbers out of a hat to determine our place in line for tickets to see Lenny Kravitz. I picked #1. As in, FIRST TO HAVE MY CHOICE OF ANY SEAT IN THE HOUSE. That is called luck. We decided that instead of buying the lawn seats, we'd go all in, just for kicks.
That's how we ended up 6 rows from Lenny during the entire show with the exception of the 5 minutes he leaned his sinewy and half-naked body into the waiting arms of the crowd, and my outstretched hand was literally millimeters from his beautifully sculpted and tattooed bicep. I'm actually glad he wasn't closer, because had that been the case, you would now be reading about that one time my lawyer advised against using "What do you expect, I'm only human! Have you SEEN him?" as my defense in court for licking Lenny Kravitz's hot bod.
Oooh, Lenny's hot and probably very tasty bod... I need a moment.
Where was I? Oh yes, nosebleed seats. We were in the car on our way to grab a bite before the concert. I had yet to tell my sister about some e-mails sent to strangers on my lunch break because I didn't know what the outcome would be.
Where was I? Oh yes, nosebleed seats. We were in the car on our way to grab a bite before the concert. I had yet to tell my sister about some e-mails sent to strangers on my lunch break because I didn't know what the outcome would be.
At 5:45 p.m., my phone rang. It was a number I didn't recognize, but I knew the area code, and took a deep breath before answering. A decision had been made and some information was exchanged; logistics, passwords, horoscopes, the secret handshake, a limerick.
By the time I hung up three things were evident: 1) I had no control over the fact that I was hearing myself scream about my sizeable balls, 2) my sister was VERY confused and wanted to know what was going on, and 3) We could look forward to being a mere 50 feet away from George now that we had insanely great $250 seats in the 4th row of section 122. For FREE.*
I would love to tell you every specific detail on how I got those tickets from someone I don't even know, but then I'd have to kill you. Just kidding, I wouldn't really have to kill you; but it is beside the point I'm trying to make here, which goes beyond "good" seats at concerts. What I'm trying to tell you is this:
Open your mouth and ask for what you want. This goes for run-of-the-mill AND outrageous things. I have lived by that rule since I was 19, and it has worked for me more times than I can count.
By the time I hung up three things were evident: 1) I had no control over the fact that I was hearing myself scream about my sizeable balls, 2) my sister was VERY confused and wanted to know what was going on, and 3) We could look forward to being a mere 50 feet away from George now that we had insanely great $250 seats in the 4th row of section 122. For FREE.*
I would love to tell you every specific detail on how I got those tickets from someone I don't even know, but then I'd have to kill you. Just kidding, I wouldn't really have to kill you; but it is beside the point I'm trying to make here, which goes beyond "good" seats at concerts. What I'm trying to tell you is this:
Open your mouth and ask for what you want. This goes for run-of-the-mill AND outrageous things. I have lived by that rule since I was 19, and it has worked for me more times than I can count.
Last year, after getting a direct e-mail from the author of a book, thanking me for a post I wrote about my excitement for the release date, I e-mailed back asking him to sign the book for me once it was out. He had plenty of other things do besides give into the whims of a stranger but enjoyed both my enthusiasm and a challenge since he was shuttling between countries and continents at the time. We figured out a plan and he somehow found the time to get to the post office in a city he doesn't even LIVE in on his last day there to pick up the book I'd shipped overnight specifically for the purpose of opening the box in the post office, signing the book, and immediately sending it back to me. It was all quite a thrilling adventure that wasn't without mishaps. You can read (and should!) the whole entertaining story on that HERE. We're still in contact, by the way... and the next time we're in the same country we're totally meeting for a drink.
One more example: Want to know how I have a 4-day workweek with every Friday off? I asked for it. Had they said no, it wouldn't have been a deal-breaker, but I asked anyway and got it.
My sister said something on Wednesday night about me being lucky, but luck is when something falls unexpectedly into your lap, like being first in line to buy Lenny Kravitz tickets. Giving the credit to luck when you've clearly asked for something disregards not only the effort put forth in the initial asking of the question, but does even more of a disservice to the person who decidedly says yes.
My sister said something on Wednesday night about me being lucky, but luck is when something falls unexpectedly into your lap, like being first in line to buy Lenny Kravitz tickets. Giving the credit to luck when you've clearly asked for something disregards not only the effort put forth in the initial asking of the question, but does even more of a disservice to the person who decidedly says yes.
So, what are you waiting for? Get some big, figurative balls of your own and start asking for what you want from every facet of this life. Of YOUR life. It's yours to live and there are people out there who will be glad to conspire with you in ways you have yet to imagine. Ask for what you want from the people you know and especially the people you don't. One thing is certain: if you never ask, you'll NEVER get it. When the worst that can happen is that someone says, "no", you should always go for it. Come from a sincere place and ask for what you want. You'll be surprised at how many times people say yes!
Then, whenever possible, send thank-you notes. Being ballsy is something to be celebrated. Being ungrateful is not.
*To be clear, the $250 seats we got were not taken away from a child in the Make-a-Wish program, or anyone else for that matter.
--
As for those who are interested in how G.M. was live, I can only say that you better get your tickets while you can. He was incredible. I worried that maybe at this point in his career, he'd phone in the performance. He did no such thing. It was a tremendous show, and ranks among the top 5 favorite live performances of all time, and I've seen lots of live shows. He blew the doors off the joint, and I can only hope his idea of a farewell tour is the same as Cher's and The Rolling Stones'... that it goes on for decades, seemingly without end.
My camera phone seems to have a wide angle lens. We were closer than it appears from this shot. This is precisely when I had my heart attack.
Yes, I know camera phone photo quality can suck, but I can only blame myself for these blurry shots. It's as good as it gets when you're involuntarily jumping and singing and cheering and clapping.
You can't really see that he's standing in the shadows on stage, but the silhouette on screen proves it. So. Much. Awesome!
My desk on Thursday morning. My boss thought I'd like some creative inspiration to carry me through the day. I got the last laugh when I told him where we ended up sitting!
The seating chart my sister worked up to show you both our nosebleed and eventual AMAZING seats. Click image to enlarge and then click HERE to read her post on the night, complete with the set list and youtube videos.
