All I need now is my Official Fangbanger Membership Card*

...and so it begins:


"Eric Northman is now following your tweets on Twitter"

After this, I'm sure he'll be chasing me into my bedroom.


*IfYouKnowWhatI'mSayin'AndIThinkYouDo

Or Somefin' or Nofin'

When I read this ridiculous blurb from People.com yesterday:


I immediately thought of one of my favorite Little Britain characters:

Little Britain's Matt Lucas as Vicky Pollard

I can't think of anything that describes Jon + Kate's need to keep going public with their drama better than, "Yeah, but no, but yeah, but no, but yeah....or somefin', or nofin'."

Add to Wish List?

Happy birthday to the Swedish hotness that is Alexander Skarsgård!


True Blood's Eric Northman in my bathtub? Yes, please!


If you aren't watching HBO's True Blood, WHY AREN'T YOU WATCHING HBO'S TRUE BLOOD? Not having HBO isn't an excuse. I don't have HBO, but I watch it (and drool) every week. Here's the main reason, which I'd use as my defense in court if I had to:



Now, if you'll excuse me? I need a moment.

"Socializing"

Thanks to House of Jules' remote correspondent Shula for pointing out the interesting wording People Magazine used for the tale of the non-sexytimes, sexytimes tape:


"socializing"

Paying it forward as often as possible

One of my oldest friends & I are in the initial stages of work on a big project together.

This particular undertaking is all in the name of doing something thoughtful for other people-- friends we know & love-- and I can't recommend this kind of thing enough. Seems almost silly to mention, because for all I know you're already on top of being the most giving person ever, but I'm mentioning it anyway:

Surprise people you love by being thoughtful in extremely unexpected ways. Recruit other people to help you if it isn't something you can do yourself. Do this again & again, the thrill will never get old.

Once, I surprised my sister by taking advantage of the fact that I have a copy of their house key. Read about it HERE. She would never ask me to do something like that, but it was a particularly stressful week for her. It took me half of an afternoon; I was in & out of there before she got home from work. Her phone call to me after she got home was TOTALLY WORTH IT. I'm not telling you this to get pats on the back for it. I'm the one who ends up getting the bigger adrenaline rush than the person I'm doing it for.

Look around at those you love. What do they need? What would really help them out, even if they don't realize it yet? I've often found that the things people need help with or could use a break from don't cost a lot of time or money. Think of it as the proverbial boy scout helping an old lady cross the street; something that may be no big deal for you to do, but could vastly improve (or just improve a tiny bit!) the day, week... LIFE of someone else!

As for the current large-scale project I'm working on with JJ, there are many little facets of it that have to get done in stages. I just got an email from her on something else she thought of to help the other friends we're recruiting along the way feel more attached to the end result; to allow each of them to have a personal investment to this project even though some of them don't know the friends we're doing it for. This idea she's come up with is excellent, and perfect for the tone we're trying to set.

Ultimately, it will be me who has to execute this idea from her concept to fruition because it's a design-related, creative-type of thing. I laughed forever when I read the last sentence of her lengthy email, because it shows how well she knows me. We've been friends for 20+ years, and she's aware that when attempting to add more things to my tasks list, flattery (no matter how full of B.S. it may sound) will get you everywhere:


A master at work: Flattery + Bullshit = Bullshittery.

Your the best (but not at grammar), HRH!

Oh, Hard Rock Hotel. How I love partying with you, sleeping in your bed and then leaving in the morning. Let's be honest, though. You're not the smartest hotel I've ever been with:


"Cut loose before YOUR back at school?"

He's in touch with his feminine side. Sometimes.

So, this just happened.*

Rainy night, trying to find an empty parking spot. We see 4 furry legs scurring around in the darkness, between the already-parked cars.

"Uh-oh, somebody's cat is on the loose! I'd better not back into it."

Then we see the animal's head, peeking around the tire of a truck, seemingly to gauge which way our car is going. It is not a kitty at all, but a raccoon.

"UGH! It's a raccoon! Disgusting thing probably has rabies! You do not want to get one of those nasty, diseased things angry, trust me." {dramatic, hacking noises}

The raccoon sees us just sitting there in the car watching it watching us, as rain continues to pour down. It starts to cross the parking lot toward the garbage dumpsters. Then we see 4 smaller raccoons scurrying behind the big one.

"Awwwww! BABIEEEEESSSSS!"  {clapping}

*For the record, the only sound that came from me in this little Friday night snippet was uproarious laughter, which busted out of my soul upon seeing his horrified face the millisecond he realized he was clapping.

Emphasis on "Bone"

At Mr. Spriggs BBQ, the meat falls off the bone, alright...



I have a feeling you don't send your woman to Mr. Spriggs for some ribs BY HERSELF. He might satisfy everything else along with her hunger, if you know what I'm sayin' and I think you do. 

Somebody light me a cigarette*!




*I don't smoke, but after a commercial like this one, I might**!

**Not really.

Read this to the tune of Jay-Z's 99 Problems

If you're havin' blog problems i feel bad for you son,
I got 99 problems* but a blog ain't one.

—Jules-Z

*I don't actually have 99 problems, but I do have about 99 things to blog about and will be back to it very soon. Maybe even later today!

In the meantime, and having nothing whatsoever to do with Jay-Z...

My sister has found a way to get our dad to write down some of his legendary hijinks.

Over 50 years later and he still cries from laughing every time he re-tells this first gem. Being a little sister, I can particularly relate to the sweet, fist-pumping-in-the-air kind of karmic victory he must've felt over his big sister the morning that this happened:

The Best Tuna Fish Sandwich That Ever Was

After you read it, I think we'll agree that my dad is the man.

Love you Dad, and love you Missy for getting him to start writing this stuff down already!

It's probably better that I haven't done this

The fam & I spent a good part of Saturday at my older nephew's Lacrosse tournament. He plays for The Warriors and at every match I say, I didn't bring bottles to clank together but... Warriors, come out to play-ee-aye!".

Unfortunately, nobody else gets that 80's movie reference, and that makes me shed a little tear. I even put it up on Twitter, and someone (who will remain anonymous unless he outs himself in the comments) guessed that I was referring to a scene in the Disney movie Pollyanna, which was such a hilariously awesome guess because of it's polar opposite themes that I'm still laughing to myself about it. Sadly, he came the closest when it came to throwing out guesses.

The Warriors is a terrible classic. Terrible. But, like I said, classic.

The lacrosse season ended on Saturday, but since I'm posting the actual scene from the movie I have high hopes that someone will bring three bottles for my clanking purposes to the first match this coming spring!


I'm much cuter than this creep when I reenact this scene, trust me.


Some of you may recognize the head Warrior as the main character from Xanadu!