Somebody was Honkin' on Bobo, but it wasn't Steven Tyler

I love Aerosmith, but one of my friend LOVES Aerosmith. L-O-V-E-S, LOVES. Namely, Steven Tyler, though not in "that" way.

She emailed me on Monday with a link to an online article, quoting Joe Perry talking nonsensically to whoever would listen. He said he hadn't spoken to Steven in a minute, how that obviously means Steven has probably up & quit the band, and therefore Joe was gonna go right ahead and find a new singer for Aerosmith so they could keep right on touring.

Anyone who has seen their "Behind the Music" wouldn't doubt the last half of what he said. Joe Perry is ready to do EVERYTHING without Steven Tyler. I did have a hard time finding the truth in that first part; equating Steven's non-responsiveness to Perry as him quitting the band.

I replied to my friend with, "Steven hasn't even made any kind of official statement yet. Maybe Joe Perry could allow the man talk before holding auditions for new singer?!" Then, yesterday, she sent me a link to this short video of them on stage together at New York's Fillmore on Tuesday night. Just before performing, Tyler had something to say to everybody, with a very specific message for Joe Perry :


"I just want New York to know I'm not leaving Aerosmith and Joe Perry, you are a man of many colors, but I, motherf--ker, am a rainbow!"

He's a rainbow! Just like THESE GUYS!


****

Your the best (but not at grammar), HRH!

Oh, Hard Rock Hotel. How I love partying with you, sleeping in your bed and then leaving in the morning. Let's be honest, though. You're not the smartest hotel I've ever been with:


"Cut loose before YOUR back at school?"

Go on, take a wild guess... Lurkers, this means you, too!

Later today I'm leaving Chicago to visit my heart and the city it has always lived in. The specific reason for this trip has been in the works for over a year, and I invite you to try & guess what's going on.

If you're one of the people already "in the know", feel free to leave comments but don't spoil the fun by spilling the details... let other people's guesses roll in and we'll see if anyone actually figures it out.


Here are a few hints for what's happening tonight:

1) There will be a crowd of well-dressed and fabulous people from all over who have all come together for one reason.

2) I'll be gazing into my favorite man's eyes.

3) Specific words will be spoken.

4) Something will be signed; not unlike a certificate that bonds two people together forever.


In the meantime, I'm going to try not to get overcome with emotion just thinking about how the all the months of anticipation and planning have finally brought us to this point. We've worked hard to get here, and I'm very excited!

O is for Other, P is for People. The last P, well, it's not that simple. Really, it's not.

I recently went to Target, after having successfully avoided that store altogether for nearly 3 months. I can't go with a list and come out the other side with less than twice of what I intended to buy. It's awful, especially for a bargain shopper like me. I decided to switch up my usual M.O. of rushing through and instead, take my time. You know, no pressure shopping. La-tee-dah'ing around for however long I wanted. 

This worked to a degree, because I only bought one item that wasn't on my list, but the flip side was that I spent 2 whole hours in one store, which is madness. However, taking time to smell the proverbial roses allowed me to appreciate things I never would have seen when going through the store at my usual record-breaking speed.

The first one was in the school supply section. I love school supplies, and they were all on sale. I don't buy them anymore, but I still like going down that aisle. I think back to the days of buying a new Trapper Keeper and picking out my folders for it every year. Ahhhh.

Times have changed, though. Now there are 3-ring binders with nods toward inappropriate songs. I can just see the unsuspecting parent picking this up for their 6th grader:


This was nestled in between the Hello Kitty and Hannah Montana stuff, no joke.

There are many things wrong with this. I'll skip over the most obvious and go to next on my list: Why would you have a binder full of Other People's Paper? That doesn't make any sense, unless you're a teacher carrying this around, and if that's the case, than we've just upped the levels of wrong ten-fold. I wonder if Naughty By Nature is getting a cut of the profits, because if not, they have a case.

O.P.P., how can I explain it
I'll take you frame by frame it
To have y'all jumpin' shall we singin' it
O is for Other, P is for People scratchin' temple
The last P...well...that's not that simple
It's sorta like another way to call a cat a kitten
It's five little letters that are missin' here
You get on occassion at the other party
As a game 'n it seems I gotta start to explainin'
Bust it
You ever had a girl and met her on a nice hello
You get her name and number and then you feelin' real mellow
You get home, wait a day, she's what you wanna know about
Then you call up and it's her girlfriend or her cousin's house
It's not a front, F to the R to the O to the N to the T
It's just her boyfriend's at her house (Boy, that's what is scary)
It's OPP, time other people's what you get it
There's no room for relationship there's just room to hit it
How many brothers out there know just what I'm gettin' at
Who thinks it's wrong 'cos I'm splittin' and co-hittin' at
Well if you do, that's OPP and you're not down with it
But if you don't, here's your membership

Chorus:
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) 3X
Who's down with OPP (Every last homie)

As for the ladies, OPP means something gifted
The first two letters are the same but the last is something different
It's the longest, loveliest, lean-- I call it the leanest
It's another five letter word rhymin' with cleanest and meanest
I won't get into that, I'll do it...ah...sorta properly
I say the last P...hmmm...stands for property
Now lady here comes a kiss, blow a kiss back to me, now tell me exactly

Have you ever known a brother who have another like a girl or wife
And you just had to stop and just 'cos he look just as nice
You looked at him, he looked at you and you knew right away
That he had someone but he was gonna be yours anyway
You couldn't be seen with him and honestly you didn't care
'Cos in a room behind a door no one but y'all are there
When y'all are finish, y'all can leave and only y'all would know
And then y'all could throw the skeleton bones right in the closet do'
Now don't be shocked 'cos if you're down I want your hands up high
Say OPP (OPP) I like to say with pride
Now when you do it, do it well and make sure that it counts
You're now down with a discount

Chorus:
You down with OPP (Yeah you know me) 3X
Who's down with OPP (Every last lady)

This girl ah tried to OPP me
I had a girl and she knew that matter-of-fact my girl was partner's that
Had a fall out, disagreement, yeah an argument
She tried to do me so we did it in my apartment, bust it
That wasn't the thing it must have been the way she hit the ceiling
'Cos after that she kept on coming back and catchin' feelings
I said, "Let's go my girl is coming so you gotta leave"
She said, "Oh no, I love you Treach" I said, "Now child please"
You gots to leave, come grab your coat, right now you gotta go
I said now look you to the stairs and to the stairwindow
This was a thing, a little thing, you shouldn't have put your heart
'Cos you know I was OPP, hell from the very start
Come on, come on, now let me tell you what it's all about
When you get down, you can't go 'round runnin' off at the mouth
That's rule number one in this OPP establishment
You keep your mouth shut and it won't get back to her or him
Exciting isn't it, a special kinda business
Many of you will catch the same sorta OPP is you with
Him or her for sure is going to admit it
When OPP comes-- skippy I'm with it

See? There's not one mention of paper in that song.