Putting the Hump in Humpday: Yiddish Edish

Ryan Gosling is everything*. Need I say more? I think not.

But, I will anyway.

You either very much agree with me that he is everything or you don't**. I'm not going to sit here and try to sell you on Ryan Gosling. In his latest movie, "Crazy, Stupid, Love" (or as I call it, "Crazy, Stupid, Hot Ass Love"), he uses a certain Yiddish word several times. Each time, it sounds natural, as if it's part of his everyday vocabulary. He totally pulls it off. You can trust me on this because I've seen the movie twice already (and I did it FOR MY COUNTRY***).

Related:





*Not EVERYTHING-everything. Just everything. You know what I'm saying.

**Admittedly, Ryan Gosling isn't for everyone:

***Please, please click that hotlink. You won't be sorry.

To read previous Putting the Hump in Humpday posts, click HERE. Do it for your country.

Here's the "Crazy, Stupid, Hot Ass Love" trailer in case you've been living under a rock:


****

Winnebago Man

I'm not just a movie junkie, I'm also a documentary freak. I think the idea of documentaries makes some people turn up their noses because they equate it with SNOOZEFEST. I always say that if you like reality TV, you'll probably like documentaries. Sure, some are better or more interesting than others, but I can honestly say I've never seen one that I didn't like or learn something from.

I've known about Jack Rebney for a couple of years, after seeing one of the videos of his Winnebago commercial bloopers on YouTube. They are absolute tear-jerkers. You will laugh until you cry, which is one of the greatest things to do with your time. Or, rather, with mine.

Imagine my delight when I heard someone made a documentary about him!

The dude swears like a trucker, so if you have sensitivities about that, don't bother watching this trailer.

"I don't want any more bullshit from anyone, that includes me!"

Oh, it's glorious, isn't it?

I'm counting the days until July 9th.

****

Avoidance and Denial; one of those ain't just a river in Egypt

Note to Readers: I don't know what's gotten into me but tonight I'm posting one of each of the 2 things I usually avoid writing about, and I'm posting them together even though it might seem in-bad-taste (and if you're surprised to find a post on my blog that is less than the highest of decorum, let me welcome you, new readers, because everyone else already knows where the bar is set around here!).
.......

There are 2 things on this blog that I usually avoid like the plague: online quizzes and famous-people-memorial-posts, and the reasons for avoidance are actually the same. If everyone has already written about it, reported on it, or talked about it, will readers still be interested in more of the same from another blog? I don't have a definitive answer to that because there are too many variables, but I'm a classic over-thinker, so the path my brain takes is this: If you have a couple of hours free, maybe you're looking to read up on all kinds of varying topics so that there will be something to talk to your ex-boyfriend about later over a dinner of re-heated yet lukewarm lasagna that really wasn't that tasty even when it was hot & fresh (the ex-boyfriend, not the lasagna); or on the flip side, if you have a full presentation for a client meeting due in 20 minutes and you still have at least 45 minutes of work to get done, you're definitely going to want to read up on the same topic repeatedly in an effort to avoid the panic that is about to blow up in your face like an atomic bomb. Or maybe that's just me.

Initially part of the allure of posting the results of a quiz I picked up from my sister's blog (who got it from Kat's blog) was to avoid writing a post on Heath Ledger's untimely passing, but I don't think that went very well since I just spent 40 minutes editing a very long post I wrote about him yesterday, so here is what remains for public consumption: My friend Shoni & I watched Heath's breakout film, Ten Things I Hate About You, a teen angst-y adaptation of Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shrew, countless times after she got it on DVD in '99; and though he purposely avoided (there it is again, the topic of the day!) doing any other movies in that specific genre afterwards, that initial role was all it took for us to sit up and take notice of him. The last film I saw him in was his Academy Award nominated role in Brokeback Mountain, a film so beautifully shot while simultaneously having the most brilliantly acted and utterly depressing storyline that it put me in a funk for weeks. While I didn't know him personally, I felt (and still feel) really disturbed when I heard the news, so R.I.P. Heath Ledger.
.......

...And now for something completely different. Here are the long-awaited, possibly too-hyped-up results from the online quiz, "What Donut Are You?". Honestly, I think this quiz should have just been called, "The WHO, ME? Quiz by Captain Obvious" because it is eerily accurate:


Nah, you think?!

You can take it yourself HERE, if for no other reason than you'll have something to talk about when you & your ex-boyfriend get together for dinner.

Like Homer to doughnuts (D'oh!nuts?), resisting opening day is futile

Look, it's the Simpsonized version of me!

See you at the movie. I'll save you a seat next to Nelson. HA HA!



In case you need a reminder of the brilliance that is The Simpsons:

Highlights from one of the best Simpsons ever: Rock & Roll Fantasy Camp; starring Mick Jagger, Keith Richards, Elvis Costello, Tom Petty, Lenny Kravitz, and Brian Setzer.

Ten lines proving this episode is one of the best Simpsons ever:
1. "You can't just leave me out here! There's not another woman for miles."

2. "WOO! STDs!"

3. Mick: "Rule #1: There are no rules! Rule #2: No outside food."

4. "I'm so hot for me, I'm so hot for me, I'm so hot for me, I'm so cold!"

5. Mick: "Everybody's naughty... and FREEZE!"

6. Tom Petty (referring to Marge): "Your mother's right, Homer."

7. Mick: "We've all got to get home. My lawn's not going to mow itself."

8. "My dream has been shattered into shards of a broken dream."

9. Mick: "Cheer up Homer, It's only rock n roll camp." Homer: "But I like it."

10. "Lenny, Don't you have a crotch to stuff?"

Someone is a purdy purdy flower; someone else is purdy purdy drunk

The memo Walt Disney never received:

See the 1947 fire prevention poster before I got my hands on it here.
POST DISCLAIMER: Though "Drunk" saw the discussed movie recently with spouse and todder (all of whom were sober at the time!), I haven't seen it in ages. I do have a long-reaching memory, though. Don't ask how we got on this topic.

Here is a highlight from a recent conversation I had very late in the evening with a friend who happened to be drunk. I was sober, which explains how I was so easily drawn into this kind of thing.

Drunk: "The best part in that movie Bambi was when his mom got shot. At least that was some drama! Everything else was boring. I mean, I sat through a 20-minute scene featuring crappy music and a forest fire. Nothing else happening, just 20 minutes of flames and some old, tinny-sounding tune! "

Me: "That movie was made when they hand drew every single frame. They had to have some simple filler scenes of hokey woodland animation and awful music. I can't believe you think the best part was when his mom got shot. That is so wrong! What about Thumper and Flower?"

Drunk: "TOTALLY CHEESEBALL! I should have just put a block of cheddar on top of my DVD player to remind me what kind of movie we were watching.

Me: "You didn't think that scene when Bambi called the skunk "Flower" was adorable? I mean, the skunk actually said, "He can call me Flower if he wants to, I don't mind" and batted those skunky little eyelashes, to which Bambi charmingly replied, "PURDY...! PURDY FLOWER"! That, my friend, is cinematic gold."

Drunk: "Don't EVEN get me started on Flower...and Thumper, NO THANK YOU! That Thumper was a real son of a bitch."

This vid proves you really can find everything on YouTube, even if it has been uploaded by someone with a video camera pointed at their TV screen.

"A Place Where Nobody Dared to Go", at least until now

{Disclaimer: My sister Missy will probably be the only person as fired up about this as I am.}

I am shocked by this news. I wonder if they considered the impossibility of improving upon perfection. I consider it the mockery of a classic, and seriously question if the Broadway production should have been green-lighted.

Seeing the original movie at 7 years old had a major impact on my life.
1) I knew after watching Sonny Malone (Michael Beck, also known for his role in Warriors. Remember that movie? 'Warriors, come out to play-ee-aye!') get paid to paint huge versions of record covers for music store displays, that I wanted to do something like that when I got older.


2) I realized after watching Danny McGuire (Gene Kelly. GENE KELLY WAS IN THIS MOVIE!) play the clarinet in a big band that I wanted to do the same. I can still perform a mean "When the Saints Go Marching In" on my Vito, even though the only time in the past 17 years that I've bothered to pull it out of the case was to show my nephew 2 years ago.

3) Most importantly, I wanted to be outlined in neon all of the time.


Two out of 3 ain't bad, right?

In all seriousness, I actually bought the soundtrack through iTunes last year. The grandfather of all mashups--and the sexiest Tubes song ever--still holds up, even after 27 years!

(I recommend advancing below vid to -2:59, when The Tubes do their thing)

(Think they're talking about something other than dancing?)

Well Broadway, you've pulled off miracles before. I'll be reading the reviews, and hoping that you don't mess this up:

Still Invading My Dance Space After 20 Years

Ok, I have good news and bad news for you. I'll let you decide which is which. Ready?

1.) In honor of the 20th anniversary of Dirty Dancing, they're re-releasing it to theaters nationwide. It's not JUST the movie, though. They're also screening "never-before-seen footage and interviews with cast members and stakeholders that have kept the energy of Dirty Dancing alive for 20 years". ("Stakeholders"? Is that a thinly veiled Hollywood codeword for certain actors, whose careers haven't been the same since the drunken flying incident and the nose job?)

2.) It's on the big screen for 2 nights ONLY: May 1st & 2nd.

My mom (and probably yours) will be SO excited about this.

Ladies: Buy your tickets online! Click here for local theater listings.

Gentleman: Make up a REALLY convincing reason that you can't take your girl (or your mom!) to see it. Maybe that you pulled a muscle in your spaghetti arms.



Before I get hatemail from all of your mothers, I actually liked this movie. It was really the first one of it's time to have an amazingly good soundtrack. I should know—I owned the cassette tape, and I have no shame about that.