You already know how deep my love is for Javier Bardem, so I was bummed that I missed seeing Vicky Cristina Barcelona before it left the theaters. Even though it also starred my nemesis Fishface, any opportunity to see Javier on the big screen is an opportunity I try to take advantage of.
A friend of mine works in PR, handling publicity and promotions for big-time events that deal with music and movie glitterati: Film festivals, movie openings, interviews... that kind of thing. She sent me this email at the end of July, just before VCB was released:
Just had to share this e-mail with you Jules, as a fellow Javier worshipper:
Let your imagination run wild regarding what you might do in 20 minutes with Javier Bardem. Remember that game we used to play in the basement called “7 minutes in heaven”?
My response:
Her reply:
I wasn't the only one upset that Javi & I weren't able to spend 20 minutes together. His reaction says it all for both of us:
The anguish! The tears! That hair! Those eyes! Those lips! His ENTIRE mouth! The beard burn I'd happily endure.... wait a second, I've gotten away from our mutual sadness and gone right back to letting my imagination run wild. I need a moment, or maybe 20.
It has been so cold here in Chicago that Jeremy decided to whisk me off to the beach. We both needed to shake off some of these wintertime blues! Even with the pesky paparazzi, it was a lovely getaway. You can tell in the photo on the right that I hardly had a concern in the world beyond making sure my legs got tan.
Pivs & I, soaking up the heat of the sun, which is different than the heat of our love only in that the sun eventually sets, taking it's heat with it. Our love is on, 24/7, baby.
I wouldn't have known anything about our uninvited guests had Jen not sent me the link! Thanks, Jen!
Jemaine Clement and Bret McKenzie, aka the folk-parody band Flight of the Conchords, hail from New Zealand and were named best alternative-comedy act at the 2005 U.S. Comedy Arts Festival. Now they're starring in an HBO series called, yes, Flight of the Conchords — which is about two transplanted New Zealanders living in New York City's Lower East side. It launches Sunday.
I saw them for the first time on Letterman last week:
"The Most Beautiful Girl"
Lookin' round the room, I can tell that you are the most beautiful girl in the...room In the whole wide room, yeah. and when you're on the street, depending on the street I bet you are definitely in the top three good looking girls on the...street. Depending on the street.
When I saw you at my mate's place I thought, "What is she doing at my mate's place? How did Dave get a hottie like that to a party like his? Good one Dave. Oooh, you're a legend, Dave"
I asked Dave if he was gonna make a move on you He's not sure. I said, Dave do you mind if I do? He says he doesn't mind, but I can tell he kinda minds but I'm gonna do it anyway
I see you standing all alone by the stereo I dim the lights down to very low. Here we go:
You're so beautiful, you could be a...waitress or you could be an air hostess in the 60's You're so beautiful you could be a...part-time model. and then I seal the deal, I do my move I do the robot
It's 12:02, just me & you and 7 other dudes around you on the dance floor I draw you near, let's get out of here. Let's get in a cab, I'll buy you a kabab and I can't believe that I'm sharing a kabab with the most beautiful girl I have ever seen... with a kabab
Why don't we leave, let's go to my house so we can feel each other up on the couch oh no, I don't mind taking it slow
Cause you're so beautiful Like a tree you're so beautiful like some ceramics or something you're so beautiful like one of those girls I've definitely, definitely been chatting to in the chat rooms WildSlutAngel22@yahoo hoo hooo you're so beautiful you could be a high-class prostitute, seriously
You're so beautiful you could be a part-time model well, you'd probably have to keep your normal job part-time model, spending part of your time modeling and part of your time next to me and the rest of your time you'd be doing your normal job
The following day they were on Fresh Air. I laughed throughout the entire interview, especially when they start talking about their musical influences: Barry White, Darryl Hall (but not Oates), and Prince. Personally, I also hear a lot of Bee Gees influence when they sing, but that's just me.
You can listen to their Fresh Air interview and live performances of "The Most Beautiful Girl", "I'm Not Crying" (best line: "These aren't tears of sadness because you're leaving me. I've just been cutting onions. I'm making a lasagna... for one. I'm not crying") and "What is Wrong with the World Today" (best line: "They're turning kids into slaves just to make cheaper sneakers, but what's the real cost cause the sneakers don't seem that much cheaper") by clicking here. I have no idea how they perform without cracking up. They are so absurdly hilarious, I will be shocked if you don't laugh out loud.
For more info on their new HBO show (which airs tonight!) and to watch the pilot episode, click here.
If like me, you can't get enough; here's their gem, "Business Time". After hearing this one, I actually had tears coming down my cheeks from laughing so hard.
"When it's with me you only need two minutes because I'm so intense. Two minutes in heaven is better than one minute in heaven. You tell me you want some more. Well, I'm not surprised, but I am quite sleepy."
On that note, I need to buy some business socks before Wednesday night, when "there's nothing good on TV and conditions are perfect".
I'm not REALLY engaged to Jeremy Piven, as my profile photo would suggest. It's photoshop, people... but do me a favor and play along, will you? Thanks.
