The Doctor Is In!

Late last night, I found out about Swatch's "Dr. Swatch" promotion:

Visit your local Swatch store for a complimentary Swatch checkup from the Swatch Docs.
During the Dr. Swatch event at Swatch, the Swatch Docs will perform:
Free battery changes • Free strap adjustments • Free buffing

I have an original red POP Swatch (that I bought with my own money thankyouverymuch and another regular Swatch from '89. It still smells like my high school boyfriend's cologne, which sounds weirder than it actually is. When we started dating, I wore his football jacket, his class ring AND HIS SWATCH WATCH. When we broke up, I gave back the first 2 and kept the watch. Oh yes, I did. I knew what time it was, if you know what I'm saying & I think you do.

I've had these Swatches tucked away in the place I have all of my other watches & jewelry (which there isn't much left of after an apartment break-in 10 years ago out east, which is another story for another day) and haven't taken them out of their little boxes in EONS. That is, not until very late last night, as I was squealing with excitement. I've wanted to revive my POP Swatch for awhile, but always found a better use for the $15 battery cost.

My procrastination in this case is paying off! Free batteries, free band adjustments & free buffing! Heading out the door now. I'll post an update with pictures later!

Today is the last day for this promotion, so if you have Swatches tucked away somewhere, break those mothereffers out and take them to Dr. Swatch!

****

My American Idol

For this 90 second clip and a billion other reasons, may Betty White live for all eternity.


"That is one crazy b*tch!"

No visible scars, but the emotional scars? Even worse than you can imagine.

I'm all for medical progress. So much, in fact, that I'm a House M.D. fanatic not only because Hugh Laurie's blue-eyed biting wit can hold my attention for an entire 8-hour show marathon (over the course of one weekend, but still), in addition to the weekly show, but also because I'm convinced that one day I'll be able to diagnose myself or someone else with a rare (or totally obvious) disease that none of the experts thought to check for.

I'm getting entertained AND educated, or something.

I made the mistake of saying (as a JOKE) "But, I'm a House junkie, too! I'm practically in med school!" to my friend J., in response to him questioning my superior knowledge of reality TV show cast members. Since then he gives me a hard time about it by calling after the show airs to ask, "So, how was class?", and then wants to know all about whatever horrible ailment Gregory House and his crack team diagnosed in a nice little package just before the credits roll.

Where was I? Ahh, yes. Medical progress. When I saw the headline in my feed reader of the news article below, my immediate reaction was nervous laughter. I thought, Go on! Click on it. It can't be that awful. Little did I know that in reading just the amount of story shown below, it would go from bad to worse to horrifying to actually dry heaving at the mental image.

I'm not about to tell you how to do something, but let me suggest that for at least a beat longer than you normally would, linger on the chilling headline alone. Let it settle into the recesses of your brain before moving on to the REST of the gag-inducing blurb:


That's as valid a concern as any, Mr. Pagliuca!

I know there are already procedures done through belly buttons, so no need to point that out. Somehow having an organ pulled from my torso out of my mouth seems a little more, I don't know, disgusting?! After posting this, I'm heading out for a little drive with my windows down, my sunroof open and some loud music to take my mind off of it. Again, medical progress=good. Mental imagery=bad.

Thanks for bringing this story to light and see you in my nightmares, Rob Stein!

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