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Wednesday, July 9, 2008

Putting the Hump in Humpday: "Friday wasn't my day, but Wednesday* was the best day..."

Note: I want you to know it pleased me to NO END that lyrics from one of my favorite 80's songs fit in perfectly with the "Wednesday is called humpday because it's in the middle of the week"; and "Putting the Hump in Humpday refers to someone/something that is totally humpable" theme, and I mean, it fit in SO perfectly that I suddenly had the overwhelming feeling that the entire reason I came up with the Humpday post idea all those months ago was just so that one day I'd be working on the post you're about to read and I'd think, "I was born to come up with the cleverness that is this very title". That's how good it is, and if you know what line comes after the lyrics in the title, you not only appreciate my multi-layered wit, but you could also win a prize*.


1984 - 11 years old
The new girl in town, who moved from Ohio to Tennessee, has her first slumber party. I'm one of the 3 girls she invites and I am thrilled. We spend most of the night in a large spare room in their finished basement, dancing up a sweat in front of a mirrored wall to the new Wham! album. We're trying hard to copy the swingy little dance step that George Michael executes so perfectly in the video for Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go. It's a very specific series of moves consisting of clapping, snapping and kicking with a sideways shuffle. The trick to getting it seems to be an avoidance of over-thinking. It should come as no surprise that I have a hard time getting it all synchronized. I mean, I know how to dance, but this is a new way of moving as yet undiscovered by the likes of my 7th-grade self. 

We're listening to the cassette, but because MTV played the video so much in the preceding months, by the time "Cuddle up baby, move in tight. We'll go dancing tomorrow night..." is blasting out of the speakers, we're each hugging ourselves and nailing his signature eyeroll while belting out, "it's cold out there but it's warm in bed; they can dance, we'll stay home instead!". The 4 of us followed that up with squealing and laughing and talking about how cool it would be to see Wham! perform live or to be a backup singer on tour or for George to ring the doorbell that very second and play Spin the Bottle with us. It would then be the polite thing for him to stick around long enough to teach us exactly how far into the clapping and snapping that the kicking should start. I know with his assistance I will master the dance.

See George hug himself and dreamily roll his eyes at 2:25. Trust me, it's worth it.


1988 - 15 years, 11 months & 3 weeks old - The Faith Tour
One week before I turned 16, I overheard my mom & one of her friends, Terri, in mid-conversation. They were talking about how Terri committed to taking her daughter somewhere and was already dreading it. I wondered what would make Terri's usual upbeat attitude so gloomy. This is how our conversation went:

Terri: "My daughter talked me into taking her to some concert on Tuesday night."

Me: "What concert?"

Terri: "I don't know, some George guy. He's singing next to a jukebox in his new video."

Me: "George MICHAEL?"

Terri: "Yeah, that's him!"

Me: "I've wanted to see him live since I was 11. Your daughter is so lucky. YOU are so lucky. I. AM. SO. JEALOUS."

Terri: "My only hope is that he sounds as good as he looks in that leather jacket and tight jeans, but I highly doubt it."

Me: "..." {jaw on floor}

One week later, on my 16th birthday, Terri surprises me with a bouquet of flowers and a t-shirt she bought for me at the concert. I don't remember what kind of flowers she gave me but I remember the t-shirt because it had a screen-printed image of George wearing the leather jacket and tight jeans from the Faith video, and it was shot from behind.


Saturday, October 19, 1991 - 18 years old - The Cover to Cover Tour
A friend of mine calls to offer me an extra ticket to the next night's Chicago show, but I am too busy in my dorm room making out with my boyfriend to answer the phone. She doesn't leave a message, and I don't get the extra ticket. I did, however, end up with a real nice hickey. My boyfriend pays dearly for both the hickey AND the missed phone call, but not monetarily.


1998 - 25 years old
The 2-disc set, Ladies & Gentlemen: The Best of George Michael is released. I buy it immediately and tell my sister, "The next time he tours, WE ARE SO THERE."


July 9, 2008 (TONIGHT!) - 34 years old - The 25 Live Tour
A few months back, my sister surprised me with tickets to tonight's show (thanks, Missy!) and WE ARE SO THERE. Apologies in advance** to the people sitting behind us, whoever you are, because we probably won't be sitting down much. I can't wait. I'll probably have one of those moments when my eyes get all watery because I'll be thinking, "DAMN, IT'S GOOD TO BE ALIVE!" and then I'll cheer so loud that my voice cracks.


If you've read this blog long enough, you know that my taste in music runs the gamut, but there are certain artists whose entire music catalogs are embedded into my life; and George Michael is one of them. Say what you will about his seemingly shallow initial pop hits and his personal scandals, but the man is talented. Some people don't realize that he's more than the lyrics, "Guilty feet have got no rhythm". I couldn't say it any better than Steve Dollar did in the last paragraph of his "Top Live Show" column in this week's Time Out Chicago:

Gossip aside: Damn, he had some hits. And, Madonna excluded, there’s no better representative of the ’80s zeitgeist. The tabloid ink has overshadowed an artist who wrote, produced, arranged and played the bulk of his pop perfection. The current—and, according to Michael, last—arena tour is all about those classic Number 1s. No doubt, an older and wiser Michael will bring more than nostalgia to the footlights.


By the way, I'm still the best of friends with the Ohio-girl-who-moved-to-Tennessee. Just the other day, I made a promise to her that even though she wouldn't be with me during his show, my clapping-snapping-kicking self will prove our 1988 marathon dance session in her basement was totally worth it.

*There's a contest that goes along with this month's Humpday post! If you figure out: 1) which song the post title refers to, and 2) what the next line in the song is; leave them in the comments. I will number all the correct answers and put the range into the random number generator. You will of course need to check back to see if you won or not. The winner will get something small I buy from the totally overpriced merchandise table at tonight's concert, unless there is nothing I can justify spending money on. If that's the case, I'll find something equally awesome from somewhere else to send you, and I promise to get the winner their prize within 2 weeks of being notified. It took me forever to get prizes mailed last time.

**Judging by #6 on this list, I may also owe an apology to 5of9er for what I can only preemptively assume is, in his opinion, a disappointing choice (correct me if I'm wrong!) for July's Hump of the Month. Sorry, 9er! To ease your pain, here are links to NPR podcasts celebrating the 20th anniversary of SUB POP Records: World Cafe (available now) and Sound Opinions #137 (available on Saturday). Yay for SUB POP!

Click HERE to read previous Humpday posts.


Cristina said...

"Because on Wednesday night we made love love love", from Battlestations :p

I never liked this one very much (nor Everything She Wants) but it's so damn catchy...

Melisa Wells said...


Twelve hours to go until the "8:00 PROMPT" start that is claimed on the tickets. Do you think he'll really start PROMPT or is that just a Diva move for the tickets?

(I don't care)

AutoSysGene said...

Ack!! I know this line but I'll be damn if I can remember what it's from.

Have a great time tonight, y'all. I'm sure you'll have no problem with that!

Spammon said...

Battlestations - "Monday was the worst day, and Friday wasn't my day, but Wednesday was the best day, because Wednesday night we made love.
And now you're telling me you're having my babies, I'll tell you that I'm happy if you want me too."

I was always keen to "Freedom" because Cindy Crawford was all I thought about in High School.

Jen said...

Is no one else impressed that we've had two HUMPDAY posts in two weeks?

minijonb said...

tonight, i will dream of George Michael singing "The Humpty Dance" ...i'm so confused!

= : - )

lindsey said...

I hope you get humped while you're there!

As Cape Cod Turns said...


But Wednesday was the best day
Because on Wednesday night we made love.

Hope you and sissy had a fabulous time at G.M.!!!!!!!

PS, my BFF and I thought the Bay City Rollers would knock on our door any minute!

xxxx said...


I still remember the day of his big "coming out" interview. It was a Friday night, and I stayed home to watch it. I still love the song Father Figure.

Sauntering Soul said...

I met one of my closest friends when we worked together at my former law firm. We don't work together anymore but I assume she still does this: on George Michael's birthday, she used to bring in a birthday cake for him and we would all enjoy a piece in celebration. She would also play his CD's on her computer all day long over the speakers so that all of us in the cube farm got to sing along all day. There may have been a few dance moves from time to time as well.

I don't think I had a full appreciation for George until I met my friend.

lindsey said...

I'm thrilled to find out I'm not alone in still wearing my retainers!

The mixture is 1 cup vinegar to 2 cups water. I let mine soak for 20 minutes then rinsed them. I had to scrub them a little.

Anonymous said...

Wow. You are a walking George Michael encyclopedia.

I hope you have a blast!

House of Jules said...

@Cristina: Is this my favorite person in Portugal?!?! You got the right answer! You're in the running for the prize.

@SisMis: YAY!

@Melissa: Oh hell, I'm putting you in the running for the prize, too.

@Spammon: You not only got it right, but then you went into the lyrics from another song altogether. I'm impressed with your knowledge of GM tunes. I thought of you when the Freedom video was played behind him during his performance of the song. Your Cindy Crawford was about 100 feet tall.

@Jen: Thank you darling, for giving me props! You're in the running to win the prize, too!

@MiniJonB: Don't be confused. I can see George singing the humpty dance. Probably if I hung around the mens bathrooms I could have seen him doing it, too. Ooh, that was a bad one! Because you tolerated that joke, you're in the running for the prize.

@Linds: That is one of the nicest things anyone's ever said to me! :) Just for that, you're in the running.

@Sue: You got it right, too! You're in the running for the prize!

@Swish: Because you are awesome, you're in the running for the prize. I'm sad to say that the prize isn't a Father Figure.

@SaunteringSoul: It's no "Hot Brazilian", but you're in the running for the prize, too. I loved that little story about your friend!

@Linds: NEW HAIR COLOR=CUTE! You're STILL in the running for the prize. My retainers thank you.

@Kris: You're in the running because you are cool.

I will give it a few more days and do a drawing next week, including comments on my follow-up post.

Spammon said...

F. That's what I get for googling it and copying the results. Whoever the rat bastard is that types that full line is, I'm gonna beat them with a DNS attack.

House of Jules said...

@Spammon: Hahahahha! Yeah, but you're STILL IN THE RUNNING, isn't that all that matters?