On a scale of 1 to 10 (10=highly inappropriate), what would you rate this?

I give it a 24, but that's based on the entire phone call, not the following edited version below.

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Our conversation began with talk of her resume and job search, which turned into a long laughing fit brought on by discussing what she'll probably end up saying or doing while high on nitrous oxide later today, thanks to her hot dentist. 

Some bases we covered were:

• Calling ahead to request he install a mirror on the ceiling and that he have candles lit before she arrives.

• Ensuring the dentist sees her putting a hair scrunchy around the doorknob*.

• Enjoying the dental aspirator (saliva vaccuum-thing) way too much.

• Telling him to pull her hair a little bit or give her a spanking while he's at it.

The rest are so tasteless, I won't even list them here. We got off the phone after exhausting ourselves of every absurd-but-plausible-if-high-on-nitrous-at-the-dentist's-office scenario.

I had to call her back 5 minutes later to say this:

You need to ask him how soon you can resume having sex. He'll probably say something along the lines of, "There's nothing about getting dental work done to prevent you from that".

Then give him the look and say, "Doctor, is that an INVITATION?"

As you get escorted out of the office by security, make sure to toss them your resume and ask if they're hiring.

Can you believe that I don't even charge her for advice like this?


*In case you don't know, a hair scrunchy on a doorknob is the universal signal for "Do not disturb, I'm getting lucky". Acceptable substitutes are a necktie, a towel or my personal favorite: A SOCK.