Making an Ash of Myself

Our soccer coach in college also happened to be a minster at a church near campus. He was a great guy and a good coach but was a bit forgetful and often running late to the practice field. In the beginning of the season, all of us girls gave him a hard time about it, but after the first 10 times he forgot to bring something important to practice (like his whistle or, say, THE TEAM SOCCER BALLS), we picked up the slack and started doing things for him so he wouldn't be so crazed.

This didn't stop him from wearing mismatched socks to our games, but we wanted to choose our battles.

We always got our practices off to a good start with stretches and running a couple of laps around the field (which really bought Coach a good 20 minutes to flip the mentality switch from his day job to his night job), after which we'd circle up at center field and find out which drills we were going to be doing.

One particular evening, I noticed something about him didn't look quite right. We all got settled at center field and just before he addressed our team, I said, "Hey Coach! You have something on your forehead!"

Everyone started giggling.

I said, "What's so funny? Nobody else was going to say something to him? If his zipper was open you'd want him to know!"

Coach smiled and said, "Which one of you wants to explain Ash Wednesday to our Jewish fullback?"

It's just a simple case of mistaken identity

This was supposed to be one of those just between us nicknames that a man adoringly gives his woman, but I feel the need to go public with it since the following news story just broke in all the tabloids:


"Brunette and curvy?" Clearly this gossip is about me. Sadly, this is not the first or last time the media will confuse me with the Queen of Burlesque.

Yes, it's true. Jeremy calls me "Von Teese" "Von Tease" (in the privacy of our own home, I might add!) for two reasons. The first one is probably obvious, so I won't even spell that out for you. The second is because I bathe in a 4-foot martini glass.

Surely you can understand how this would be confusing for the gossip columnists.

Source

Lionel Richie saddened to discover daughter Nicole 'Easy like a Sunday Morning'

Then feels partially responsible for his "Ballerina Girl's" current situation upon realizing--after all these years--the amount of collateral damage his hit song, All Night Long obviously had on her sense of self-worth.

Soon-to-be-jailed celebrity socialite Nicole Richie said she is pregnant by her boyfriend, singer Joel Madden of the rock band Good Charlotte.

"We are. I'm almost four months," said Richie, 25, in an interview with ABC's Diane Sawyer that will air Thursday.

Fiesta, Forever.

Source

Chewbacca ready to rumble "Wookie Style" until he read the story beyond the headline

This headline deserves a Pulitzer:



What every Star Wars fan imagined when reading the headline, though secretly have been imagining it for years:

Click to enlarge

Skywalkers in Korea Cross Han Solo
They came from all over the world, poles in hand, and feet ready to inch more than half a mile across a high wire strung over the Han River in a spine-tingling battle of balance, speed and high anxiety.

As part of its annual city festival, the South Korean capital staged Thursday what was billed as the world's first high-wire championship, drawing 18 contestants from nine countries for three days of supreme feats of concentration. Each acrobat must navigate the 1.2-inch-thick wire that spans the river, with the top prize of $15,000 going to the person crossing it fastest.


An actual "skywalker" photographed "crossing Han (River) Solo".

The iron cable was supported by 72-foot-high towers on either bank of the river. A safety net was deployed under the sections of the wire over the riverbanks; otherwise the walkers faced a plunge into the swirling gray water. The main wire — with yellow flags every 82 feet — was supported by stabilizing lines to keep it from swaying sideways, but it sagged under its weight across the middle of the river, meaning the drop to the water was actually much lower.

Fastest across Thursday was Abdusataer Dujiabudula of China, who seemed to dance over the wire as he finished in about 11 minutes. His loose-fitting red and gold costume fluttered in the breeze, and he high-fived a man on the high platform as he finished. "It feels very good. It feels all right. It was very tight," he said, adding that he got tired about two-thirds of the way across.

Pedro Carrillo of Reno, Nev., said it would be "something very big" for him to complete such a distance. The 60-year-old acrobat has been wire-walking for 43 years. "I feel the wind, that's all I worry about," said Carrillo. "But I think I can keep going once I start." And so he did, completing the walk in 17 minutes and 7 seconds — the same time as Kwon.

The winner of the competition will be announced Saturday.

Source

Chewbacca's mom quoted as, "Relieved". Click here for 'a word to the wise' from Han Solo.

CNN.com confuses "Crew" with "Crüe"

So THIS is what Nikki, Mick, Vince & Tommy have been up to!




Looks to me like MOTLEY CRÜE, not "a motley crew"!


Alright, it's just a joke; the perfect marriage of CNN's headlines with my photo researching skills. You understand how I couldn't resist that creative editing.
Here's the actual image that CNN used: