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Friday, February 13, 2009

Not for the easily offended

You read the title, right? Mmmkay, you've been warned. This makes two posts in a row with the potential for a pillow fight ending. Sorry guys, that last post about my Angelina dream didn't deliver, but this one just might....

Some of my friends were talking about how the significant others decided to go on a man's trip this weekend. The conversation evolved into a retaliatory Ladies Night. That'll show 'em! One of the Lovely Ladies came up with the idea to have a Vaginatine's Party tomorrow night. You read that correctly, I don't have to repeat it. The gauntlet has been thrown down, we women are a witty bunch and are all bringing V-themed food & drink. Last week, I was text messaging with my friend Scooter with our random ideas, which included:

Scooter's ideas:
Fish tacos
Crab dip
O-face rings
Tuna casserole
Head cheese platter
Cream pie

My ideas:
Forbidden fruit salad
Finger sandwiches
Landing strip steak
French silk panty pie
Crab cakes
Yeast rolls
Erogenous scones (I am proudest of this one.) (That is sad.)
Pork loin (a joke in itself)
Beef curtains (I actually found a recipe for flank steak that I'm calling Beef Curtains for the purpose of this party.)

The friend responsible for the party theme idea is bringing "Labia Lick-her" for our party beverage. Beaverage?

My own mother wanted to help me out with suggestions while I was brainstorming and emailed me a recipe for chocolate covered cherries. She called me to say, and I quote, "You can call them poppin' cherries!" If you knew how much of an actual-for real-not joking LADY my mom is, you would understand better how I am both amused and offended by her suggestion, or rather that I didn't think of it myself. I'm totally going to make those, by the way.

I can't wait to see what the other girls are bringing. Some of their ideas are not even fit to print. Oh boy... and so it begins. Enjoy your weekend, however you celebrate it! I'll have a beaverage for you. A drink, I mean.


Melisa Wells said...

I wish that you could have *told* everyone about this on the phone like you did me the other day. This was hilarious to read, but it's even more funny out loud. :)

Have fun!!!

dk said...

heh heh! candied cumquats, tossed salad, and titty tarts.

Gene said...

Sweet, sweet revenge.

k a t i e said...

ROFL. Seriously. Like, off the chair laughing.

Pork loin and beef curtains...

Seriously, have you ever seen butterfy'd chicken breasts...? If that's not a labia, I don't know what is. Gives me the giggles every time I visit the butchers.

I sincerely hope there is photographic evidence. In a completely non-creepy, non-lesbian way.

Michelle said...

Wow. What's wrong with men leaving this weekend? Are they chicken?

I LOVE this party idea though. And I need to hear the recap of what was actually provided and eaten. The cherries though? Yum.

Spammon said...

I'm curious, do you spread butter on the yeast rolls? Or a little Monistat 7?

TSintheC said...

You are sick, sick women. Where's my invite?

House of Jules said...

We're going to make it an annual thing. Get it? Annual? Everyone's invited next year, not just the people with Vaginas! Pencil it in your calendars now! Follow-up post to come. Heh.

Val Foltz said...

erogenous scones. that is brilliant. this entire post made me laugh out loud. a lot. in a good way.

Andie said...

I just spit water out all over myself. this is awesome.